Women, please keep your interest in moderation...


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JEG is offline JEG Post #1  December 7,2008, 9:17pm
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OK--I totally dropped out of the dating scene three months ago. Decided a couple weeks ago to get back in. Started talking with this nice woman and went out with her once so far. I'm not anti-relationship or scared of commitment or anything, but it kind of freaks me out how some women show a little too much interest early in a relationship. I like being attracted to and interested in someone, and in knowing they feel a similar way, but I'm just not comfortable with getting a pet name after I've known you two or three weeks, or swapping a row of text messages every day, or talking on the phone for a long time every evening. I love those experiences with someone new, but in MODERATION. I love the prospect of commitment and feelings, but those need some time to grow. It's been two weeks now and I like this person, but I'm ready for another vacation from dating...a long one...lol.





Anyway, I guess I was posting to just remind people (men or women, but especially the ladies) to pace yourselves in the excitement of a new potential relationship. If you run too fast, your jogging partner will just keep his same pace and you'll soon be alone on the trail.
 
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Breezy26 is offline Breezy26 Post #2  December 7,2008, 9:35pm
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If you've only been out once, and she has a pet name for you, that could be a little strange! What is she calling you? Sweetie? Honey? LOL.


If the interest in each other is mutual, those things (pet names, text msgs, long phone convos) might seem normal to both parties and moderation isn't necessary. However, if one partner has restrictions on pace, theymay feel like the other person's eagerness is a little too much, too soon.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #3  December 7,2008, 9:48pm
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Is it possible that she's just the kind of person that uses those kinds of names with lots of people? In my part of the country, it's not unusual for women to use terms of endearment for many people--both men and women. Lots of times it's even done with people that they don't know particularly well. Just a thought......
 
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Lostintranslation is offline Lostintranslation Post #4  December 7,2008, 9:59pm
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If the pet name is anything other than 'new guy'... run!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  December 7,2008, 10:06pm
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Gee I would not mind being called a pet name


And I like to get communication (e-mail) every day.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #6  December 7,2008, 10:18pm
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Gr8Guyn2008,372365 wrote :

Gee I would not mind being called a pet name


And I like to get communication (e-mail) every day.
I'll call you a pet name, honey! Just come on down South. We're really good at pet names down here! LOL
 
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augustpisces is offline augustpisces Post #7  December 7,2008, 10:22pm
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JEG, wrote :

OK--I totally dropped out of the dating scene three months ago.* Decided a couple weeks ago to get back in.* Started talking with this nice woman and went out with her once so far.* I'm not anti-relationship or scared of commitment or anything, but it kind of freaks me out how some women show a little too much interest early in a relationship.* I like being attracted to and interested in someone, and in knowing they feel a similar way, but I'm just not comfortable with getting a pet name after I've known you two or three weeks, or swapping a row of text messages every day, or talking on the phone for a long time every evening.* I love those experiences with someone new, but in MODERATION.* I love the prospect of commitment and feelings, but those need some time to grow.* It's been two weeks now and I like this person, but I'm ready for another vacation from dating...a long one...lol.


*


Anyway, I guess I was posting to just remind people (men or women, but especially the ladies) to pace yourselves in the excitement of a new potential relationship.* If you run too fast, your jogging partner will just keep his same pace and you'll soon be alone on the trail.
You are absolutely correct. I made the error your friend made a few months ago, and have learned the lesson well.
 
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KRA_Z_1 is offline KRA_Z_1 Post #8  December 7,2008, 11:08pm
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Been there, done that. I had a girl one time that told me she was completely head over heels in love with me on our fifth date. If I hadn't been so floored by it, I might have instinctually ran for the hills!
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #9  December 8,2008, 4:39am
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Making up pet names/changing someone's nameis kind of common for me - I do it quite often with people I know. For example - there's this guy I'm friends with, he's always referred to as 'cuteness'. "What's up, cuteness?" Another guy friend, I never refer to him as Joe - I refer to him as "Joe-zeff" My friend Ant is "hotstuff".


It's so normal for me, that I've occasionally slipped and referred to someone that I didn't know to well in a similiar manner.


Though, even when actually involved with someone, I've never been one to use pet-names like honey, darling, baby or anything like that. But, some variation of their actual name, or a silly pet-name becomes common.


When I have slipped with someone I barely know, it's never been looked at crooked or anything, my personality is a little goofy and silly and I'm fairly certain it's been taken in that context.


So, for any of you guys on the board, if I refer to you as 'sweetness' or some other such pet name - take it in stride
 
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pinz is offline pinz Post #10  December 8,2008, 6:51am
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To the OP, Good point. The corollary would be men who PUSH too soon with women.


As part of of my on-going 'experiement' with 'on-line' dating I recently joined another 'site' primarily to 'compare' with this one (my first site) ... Well, shockorama, within 2 weeks, I've received near 250 'smiles', over 30 PM's from virtual strangers from MILES AWAY, and innummerable 'Let's chat' from dudes opening with, 'Hi Sweetie!' ... well, knock me over with a feather .... I've never been so 'popular' in my life !!!


What is clear is that MOST of these men are playing a 'numbers game'. Few could give a rat's *ss about me. The 'end game' is sex. Period.


To me, it's not so much 'desperation' as it is dis-respect .


It is somewhat ironic that as soon as a man DOES show some 'respect' towards a woman, women generally will fall, hook, line and sinker. The irony continues cuz then men get jittery. If she is suddenly 'too affectionate' or seems to suddenly show loving tenderness, she is quickly considered 'desperate'.


Well, take note fellas, it is more likely that FINALLY she's met someone who treats her decently, (or at least, at the onset, gives the ILLUSION of treating her decently ...) Men have NO IDEA what it's like from 'this side of the fence' with all them mad dogs sniffing and yabbing ...


It does come back to the original post. It's about 'pacing'. It's all about 'timing'.
 
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