Women, please keep your interest in moderation...


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treatmesweetly is offline treatmesweetly Post #31  December 14,2008, 7:08pm
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watermusic,380401 wrote :

"...I'm just not comfortable with getting a pet name after I've known you two or three weeks..."


-----


Be careful. If she called you "sugah" and she's from my neck of the woods, it means she's about to cause you greatbodily harm. It's the equivalent of being bumped by a shark. Stop whatever you're doing and slowly back away. lol
I'm laughing soooo hard my side hurts. ouch. Ouch!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #32  December 14,2008, 7:45pm
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Lacey1,380286 wrote :

I guess I would wonder why you are on a website that advertises to meet the love of your life. If guys are not interested in dating to form a lasting relationship, then why do they sign up for eharmony?
This question, in this manner, is too reasonable. Thus, I don’t know the answer.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #33  December 14,2008, 9:09pm

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I'm curious what the OP or others think of "showing interest" in moderation when you are actually on the date.


I understand (and agree) about being conservative with phone/texts/emails while in the beginning phases of dating. In fact (right or wrong...) I never initiate the communications, except on the rare occasion. I usually just respond (even after the third date in this case)


But....what about when you are ON the date? I tend to be rather affectionate in person, and have a hard time saying goodbye if I'm having a good time.


I'll make my interest pretty well known I think.....even wonder if that can come off as too eager/willing.


Opinions?


I recall a good quote (from sorry...the RULES) warm words cool actions..... I've never quite figured it out but it seems to be good advice! I think what they mean is be a good time to be around, be complimentary when you interact.....but act cooly in terms of actions (ie calling, texting, etc)


I think I tend to be that way naturally but am suddenly feeling insecure!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #34  December 14,2008, 9:20pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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To the OP: I know where you're coming from. Just remember that this early in getting to know someone you can always not participate in whatever you don't want to do. If you don't want to talk or IM everyday...then reiterate to her that you don't want to do this....and then don't. Good luck.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #35  December 14,2008, 9:28pm
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But....what about when you are ON the date? I tend to be rather affectionate in person, and have a hard time saying goodbye if I'm having a good time.


------I will probably not initiate much in the PDA department but if we have any kind of privacy even if it's just being alone on the street then I am fine with it. Not big on much when in a restautant or bar. I won't have a problem if she initiates anything but may only participate to a certain extent depending on the situation.


Communicating every day would probably be excessive for me. I would expect that we would communicate more & more each week, but not daily for quite a while.
 
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BSLS is offline BSLS Post #36  December 14,2008, 11:21pm
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JEG, wrote :

OK--I totally dropped out of the dating scene three months ago. Decided a couple weeks ago to get back in. Started talking with this nice woman and went out with her once so far. I'm not anti-relationship or scared of commitment or anything, but it kind of freaks me out how some women show a little too much interest early in a relationship. I like being attracted to and interested in someone, and in knowing they feel a similar way, but I'm just not comfortable with getting a pet name after I've known you two or three weeks, or swapping a row of text messages every day, or talking on the phone for a long time every evening. I love those experiences with someone new, but in MODERATION. I love the prospect of commitment and feelings, but those need some time to grow. It's been two weeks now and I like this person, but I'm ready for another vacation from dating...a long one...lol.





Anyway, I guess I was posting to just remind people (men or women, but especially the ladies) to pace yourselves in the excitement of a new potential relationship. If you run too fast, your jogging partner will just keep his same pace and you'll soon be alone on the trail.
I encountered a womanthe other day who was complaining that she had to work at Mc Donald's, when she's in a county with one of the highest unemployment rates in the state, and she's complaining to me, who recently was laid off. I had no sympathy for her.


I've learned in life that some people just aren't happy no matter what.


A man complains about being single and alone, and not having anyone to appreciate him


So God sends him someone to care about him, pay attention to him, appreciate him, etc.


And he complains....


Some people are just SO ungrateful.
 
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RedHairedGirl is offline RedHairedGirl Post #37  December 15,2008, 8:09am
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Perhaps if you find her attention immoderate, she is simply not the right woman for you. Why try to change someone else's approach or assume that yours is better?
 
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earthangel is offline earthangel Post #38  December 17,2008, 7:21am
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Linda,380146 wrote :

LizziePooh,379898 wrote :


......


But, yeah I can see your point. When one feels more into it then the other it can really dampen things a bit.


I agree......it really does "dampen things a bit." At first I was flattered he was calling (we're about 500 miles apart) me daily. Now, after almost 2 months of calling me daily, I feel a bit smothered........
It's highly possible that you will miss this level of devotion if it suddenly stops.Do you have feelings or are youstringing this guy along?if you can't do the long distance thing, I'd cut my losses. A side note though:He sounds pretty special to me.
 
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