The Handshake Phenomena


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #11  December 7,2008, 11:26am
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From a guy's perspective if a girl offers a handshake then I interpret that as I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting a second date. Though there were probably signs all during the evening that things were not going well.


If when I walk her to her car and she offers nothing I will ask for a hug.


To me a handshake is just way to "business" for a date even if it did not go well.


I have been hugged and kissed on the cheek and not gotten the second date, I have gotten a handshake on the first date and gotten the second date.


I have never initiated a kiss on a first date as I feel that I come off as a bit to forward, and as mentioned I don't want to make the lady feel uncomfortable.


I LOVE to hug so I want to hug at the end of every date.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #12  December 7,2008, 11:51am
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In most cases whether I handshake, hug, or more depends on the chemistry I felt before and after that first date. If we'd already e-mailed several times and spoken on the phone and the first date results in some real chemistry, Iwill generally always go for a hug. If the date didn't go well, usually a handshake. In the rare case that the date sparked some real fireworks, and we had conversation either before or during the date about intimacy and affection, there may be a kiss involved. That is rare, however.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #13  December 7,2008, 12:05pm
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I've offered a handshake to a date where I wasn't interested in seeing him again, OR when I couldn't get enough of a good read from him, he was making no move one way or the other and the moment could quickly turn into awkward. I don't recall if I've been offered a handshake or not? But, I have been offered the "wave" as he's saying "we should do this again" and starting to wander off. I take that to mean he doesn't really want to do this again, but didn't know what else to say lol


More than a few of my dates have both started and ended with a kiss on the cheek, sometimes with a hugthrown in for good measure, initiated by the guy, which I'm fine with. But, I can't use that as any guide as to whether there will be a 2nd date or not, because sometimes there has been, other times there hasn't, and other times the guy's poofed alltogether.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #14  December 7,2008, 1:04pm
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Showing up in full body armour or a Haz Mat suit, with gloves, will DEFINATELYguarantee your message is definitive.
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #15  December 7,2008, 1:16pm
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Thank you all for your comments, I really appreciate your opinions.
bigfincat, gr8guy we are on the same page.
ds1968, girl I agree. I tend to let the guy do the first move at the end of a date. If it was for me I would hug most times unless he is stinky!
Mr. Five… that comment “jerk-who-hits-on-anything-with-a-skirt” is funny, but I completely see it. I don’t know men like that but I do know a girl like that –well change skirt for pants-
yeoww, wow interesting, a small gift, wow.
Gr8Guyn2008 .. HUG! We are on the same page
tbesq worte it in the best possible way of expressing my actual opinion, we are on the same paragraph!
lucky173 yes, agree. I have also down the ‘wave’.
Court10 & Tantalus: I see where you are coming from, but I need a guy to take charge sometimes, I don’t want to end up dominating the relationship. I also think early on is even more important.

So OK, I will give you now some more of the story because it is confusing. The last ‘shake guy told me he had to wake up early next morning (for a good reason he explained), so when I looked at the time (yes I did, he did not) it was late and when he realized it was THAT late, he ordered the check. We get outside and he asks me if I want to go for dessert. I am quite confused, I thought this was it. The bar was crowded and it got hard to hear at the end so I was going with the flow. We sat down at the bakery got pastries and coffee, talked more, it was like a second date, adifferent person. He was more open, talked a bit more, didn’t say ‘cool’ 10 times in a row. We left really late, and he walked me to the subway and then did the ‘shake.
In my eyes, I was expecting the ‘shake after the bar, but not after such a great time at the pastry shop. So I am baffled, but because he was so skittish in setting up the date (agreeing on a day = 7 days in advance, time and place = 3 hrs beforehand!), I am wondering if I should choke it up as the shy guy.

Based on all your comments I will just wait and see.. he hasn’t close me yet (then again neither of the 2 other ‘shakers). But I think ‘closing’ a match is the only CLEAR sign we have especially with eHa, and solely because of that I have to say I LIKE that feature.
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #16  December 7,2008, 1:22pm
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For your dates that end in handshakes, those guys probably read on these boards that women think they're moving too fast if they go for a little kiss, so they keep their distance.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #17  December 7,2008, 1:30pm
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"Keep your hands to yourself" (Song lyrics)

I got a little change in my pocket
Going ting-a-ling-a-ling
Wanna call you on the telephone, baby
Give you a ring
Well each time we talk
I get the same old thing
'Well there's no huggie, no kissie until I get a wedding ring
Oh my honey, my baby
Don't pu t my loveup on no shelf
She said 'Don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself!'
Baby, baby, baby
Why you treat me this way?
You know I'm still your lover boy
I still feel the same way
That's when she told me the story
Bout the milk and the cow
She said 'No huggie, no kissie until I get a wedding vow
Oh my honey, my baby
Don't put my love up on no shelf
She said 'Don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself!'
Oooooh
Woah, yeah
See I wanted to get it bad
I was about to give in
That's when she started talking about true love
Started talking about sin
I said 'Honey I'll live with you for the rest of your life'
She said 'No huggie, no kissie until you make me your wife'
Honey, my baby
Don't put my love up on no shelf
She said 'Don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself!'
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #18  December 7,2008, 1:36pm

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i'd give my dates a hug at the end of the date but then... they might come here, create a post complaining how i'm a freak because i wanted to give them a hug at the end of the evening and laugh soooo..... here's a handshake lol
 
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Breezy26 is offline Breezy26 Post #19  December 7,2008, 1:42pm
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A handshake is so formal, like you've just completed a business transaction or a job interview. LOL.
 
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empress_c is offline empress_c Post #20  December 7,2008, 2:18pm
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6dle899,371807 wrote :

Showing up in full body armour or a Haz Mat suit, with gloves, will DEFINATELYguarantee your message is definitive.
Ho ho ho ho ho! Funniest thing so far today! Or, how about a string of garlic around the neck?
 
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