Worst date ever stories

I have so many bad date stories, there's the Shoe Freak guy, Flower Boy, the Peeper. My friends like the following one the best, (this is one of the worst, but definitely the shortest)- they've nicknamed him Nelly.


This was years ago, he contacted me through match. Nice profile, nice pictures. We start emailing. Then phone. In conversation he was interesting and funny and intelligient. He had such a nice deep voice. He was a cop in the city and worked late hours, so it was hit or miss with scheduling to meet, he had called a few times to postpone. We talked about all sorts of things, all seemed good.


He called late one night when he was getting off shift, friends and I were at this (well known) club and he said he was going to stop by with a friend and meet up with us. (Even though we hadn't met yet, I was fine with this) He called back several times, claiming he was at the club but couldn't find me. While on the phone, I walked to a central outside location, and he couldn't possibly miss seeing me there. He kept talking and saying nope, couldn't see me. Didn't see anyone wearing what I had described having on. This went on and on for a bit, finally we hung up the phone with him saying he would just go inside to the bar near this one bartender Jimmy and I should go there to meet him. Ok so I do, I'm hanging around that area and never do see him. Try him back on his cell and get vm. Eventually just continue on with my night, and don't think too much of this.


Fastforward - few more phone calls the following week and finally our schedules allow a good time to meet up.I get to the restaurant, and as I'm walking in, there's a guy sitting on a bench outside that I recognized, but couldn't place from where.


I go inside, go to wait at the bar. After about 15-20 minutes the guy from the bench outside walks up to me and introduces himself as the guy I had been talking with. ??????? I'm confused, he looks *nothing, nothing nothing* like the profile pic, sounds *nothing* like the guy I've been speaking on the phone with. It’s like night and day differences.


This guy was so nervous and SOOOO timid. He couldn't look at me when he spoke. He was practically whispering, and stumbling over his words. Visibly shaking. I finally just asked him what the he l l was going on, because he was NOT the guy I had been talking to. Where was the deep voice? Where was the confidence? Where was the sense of humor? The interesting conversation?


He admitted to me that it had been his brothers picture on the profile, and that it had been his brother who was talking to me on the phone and emailing. WTF??? He tried to explain that he was really shy around women and never did quite know how to interact with them, that women made him so nervous that he felt like crying (yes, he said that), and since his brother was so good looking, and so comfortable around women, that his brother often helped him out with the 'dating thing'. WTF???? Are you really 35 years old? "No, but my brother is" Are you really a cop? "No, but my brother is" Are any of those things on your profile even true about you? "No, but they're true about my brother"


I asked where the he l l his brother was, considering he had put in all the time and energies into this little sham - his brother was at home with his wife. Doh!!!! I also realized why he had looked familiar to me earlier, he had literally bumped into me at the club the previous week, a few times.


I pay for mybeer and I am outta there. As I'm leaving, a friend calls me and asks me to meet her down in the village for a drink.


Idrive down to meet her, we're sitting at the bar chit-chatting about my non-date date and next thing I know in walks thisother guy from match (Flower Boy - different bad date) and I say to her "oh god I don't need this right now" She turns to look and says "Oh! Mike, hi!!!" I give her a look like…. what?? She goes on to tell me that the two of them had met through match, were sleeping together, but not really dating because he was ‘hot’ for some other match girl. She didn’t realize him and I had been out a few times, didn’t realize HE was “Flower Boy” , and neither of us realized that I was the other match girl he was hot for. Ughhh, Yuck! Mike then proceeded to hit on me for the next 15 minutes, while right in frontof her.


I paid for my beer and I was out of there.My friend never spoke to Mike again. I haven’t used match since.

Seconddate through Match. He was a physician (Jewish) who'd been married15-20 years (no children) and divorced a couple of years. We were both in our early 40's, and I had two young children.Over dinner in a restaurant he'd picked, he'd told me how he'd looked at houses to buy that day andparticularly liked a large 5 bedroom model for 'all our kids.' He went on to explain that it would be OK with him if my kids weren't raised Jewish (I am not Jewish) but thatit was important to him thatour kids be raised Jewish. Huh? I said that I thought he was getting a little ahead of himself, since it was only our second date.


After dinner we walkedaround a while before headingback to my car, which was parked in a somewhat secluded area.We kissed goodnight and he tried tomake it a longerkiss --hands wandering a bit over my back. I pulled away. Then he asked me ifI'd like to smell him.He meant smell his private parts. He said it was important to him that I like the way he smelled. WTF?


I've never wanted to get away from a date so fast.

I know men and women are different........


but were you and this guy even on the same date????

Seconddate through Match. He was a physician (Jewish) who'd been married15-20 years (no children) and divorced a couple of years. We were both in our early 40's, and I had two young children.Over dinner in a restaurant he'd picked, he'd told me how he'd looked at houses to buy that day andparticularly liked a large 5 bedroom model for 'all our kids.' He went on to explain that it would be OK with him if my kids weren't raised Jewish (I am not Jewish) but thatit was important to him thatour kids be raised Jewish. Huh? I said that I thought he was getting a little ahead of himself, since it was only our second date.


After dinner we walkedaround a while before headingback to my car, which was parked in a somewhat secluded area.We kissed goodnight and he tried tomake it a longerkiss --hands wandering a bit over my back. I pulled away. Then he asked me ifI'd like to smell him.He meant smell his private parts. He said it was important to him that I like the way he smelled. WTF?


I've never wanted to get away from a date so fast.