my5cents is offline my5cents Post #1  December 5,2008, 5:10pm
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Have any of you refused a match who has asked for more pictures? I have quite a few already up: close ups, full body, recent pictures, and I really don't see the need to send more.
It's kind of annoying to be asked again and again and now I'm just getting a little ticked. So have any of you encountered this, and have you complied or just refused?
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #2  December 5,2008, 5:21pm
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IF the request isn't out of line (asking for nudes, etc.), then it probably wouldn't bother me much. Remember that men are highly visual and this is just part of how we look (literally) at a prospective match. Repeated requests (after the first is fulfilled) would bea red flag for me.


Rather than take a bunch of time selecting them, set up a 'secondary' set of photos that you can just attach to an e-mail whenever you get a request. It'll save you sometime.


If you're getting a consistent request for a certain type of photo (again, a reasonable request), then I'd take that more as good feedback upon your profile. Remember, the profile is not about how you want it to be, but rather how it will attract the attention of the sort of man you want. This is advertising. You need to tailor your message to your market.
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #3  December 5,2008, 5:26pm
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Glider_Pilot,370141 wrote :

IF the request isn't out of line (asking for nudes, etc.), then it probably wouldn't bother me much. Remember that men are highly visual and this is just part of how we look (literally) at a prospective match. Repeated requests (after the first is fulfilled) would bea red flag for me.


Rather than take a bunch of time selecting them, set up a 'secondary' set of photos that you can just attach to an e-mail whenever you get a request. It'll save you sometime.


If you're getting a consistent request for a certain type of photo (again, a reasonable request), then I'd take that more as good feedback upon your profile. Remember, the profile is not about how you want it to be, but rather how it will attract the attention of the sort of man you want. This is advertising. You need to tailor your message to your market.
Well stated, and good perspective. I just never understood guys who want more pictures than what are posted. I suppose it's somewhat different for me because I don't care for more from them. I see what I see, and then I wait to meet them to see what they really look like. I guess it's one of the differences between men and women.
 
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TrissyCat is offline TrissyCat Post #4  December 5,2008, 5:39pm
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I understand that men are more visually stimulated than women, but I have 5 pictures posted, and have not been asked for any more. I am a Christian and have stated so bluntly and that I am also only looking to date a Christian; therefore my number of responses may be less than yours. However, most that have responded say how gorgeous or pretty that I am. I think pictures are just the starting point. I am in my late 40's so the 50 something guy is not exactly a hunk. If they do not want to invest in my personality or values, then it is a turn off for me, because looks will fade one day and the mature person (either in mind or years) does realize that. I am pursuing 2 men (through e-mail) that I do not find exactly gorgeous, because the "real love" is who the person is and how he will treat me.





I know I'll probably get blasted for this and that's OK
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  December 5,2008, 6:10pm
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TrissyCat,370171 wrote :

I understand that men are more visually stimulated than women, but I have 5 pictures posted, and have not been asked for any more. I am a Christian and have stated so bluntly and that I am also only looking to date a Christian; therefore my number of responses may be less than yours. However, most that have responded say how gorgeous or pretty that I am. I think pictures are just the starting point. I am in my late 40's so the 50 something guy is not exactly a hunk. If they do not want to invest in my personality or values, then it is a turn off for me, because looks will fade one day and the mature person (either in mind or years) does realize that. I am pursuing 2 men (through e-mail) that I do not find exactly gorgeous, because the "real love" is who the person is and how he will treat me.





I know I'll probably get blasted for this and that's OK
I am not going to blast you, but to you and GP - the girls are every bit or even more visual than the guys.


I never have considered myself to be hunky, but I am in better shape than nearly every one of my 500 matches. Including the ones that are considerably younger than my 56 years.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  December 5,2008, 6:15pm
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I have never asked for more photos from a match as long as she has at least one posted. Nor would I ever consider asking for more photos.


I one of my matches has posted photos the size as the avitars here or taken in a mirror with her cell phone then asking for more photos is not likely to get any really great photos. If she thinks photos such as this are good advertizing then she probably is not the girl for me anyway.
 
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Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #7  December 5,2008, 6:29pm
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I'd only ask for more photos if a match has only one or fewer photos posted. If you have a bunch already posted (including a clear headshot and a clear full body shot), asking for more just seems weird to me.
 
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waltercl is offline waltercl Post #8  December 6,2008, 7:05pm
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Without seeing the pictures you already have up it is hard to pass judgment on whether it's a reasonable request or not. For instance I've been burned before by seeing photos that were only of special occasions where the person who was very made up and not reflective of what they'd be in everyday life. I've been disappointed because of other types of photos as well that didn't match what I saw when I met them because of other factors such as outdated pictures or ones before they gained a lot of weight. I'm sure my experiences of online dating are typical of a lot of you both male and females, and you kind of learn over time how to minimize your chances of disappointment. My current strategy is not communicating or meeting anyone so I'm not experiencing any disappointments at the moment





Like I said at the beginning, it's hard to tell. He might just being overly cautious due to some bad experiences, or he's toooo focused on appearances. Personally I'm more picky about body type and weight than I am about looks. I'll give someone the benefit of the doubt on appearance if they look like they could be cute in person.
 
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Cathii is offline Cathii Post #9  December 6,2008, 8:55pm
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What's with the pics deal anyway.... men wanna see how fat ya are? and women wanna see how ya fit those jeans simple and we ALL know it hahahahahahah


Cheers!
 
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #10  December 7,2008, 4:54am
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I have the same album here as on my eh profile. I get told (when meeting for the 1st time) "you look even better in person" I've heard via some threads here, that some photos posted are 15 yr ago pics, and when they met the person.....well lets just say reality bites lol


If we move to personal email correspondence, I include a pic in it, because I know I'm not the only one they communicate with, I want them to rememeber who I am lol I know it's difficult for men


BTW gr8, prove it lol lemme see a pic


K
 
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