Your Safety on a First Date


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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #1  November 27,2008, 6:38pm
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As part of a long list of first date do’s and don’ts, I wrote: “Two people departing from near each other driving two cars to go to the same restaurant is insanity.”
“I would not hold this choice against the woman, but I would take it as indicative of excess concern; or, more to the point, mis-prioritization of concern, which is an element of reason and critical thinking” – which I hold as a selection criteria.
“I contend until someone comes with data to prove me wrong, that dating is not dangerous, at least not materially so relative to background risks we must face – which leaves us with the message we send by our choice.”
I had in mind, but did not write: some allege that thousands of our soldiers and ten times as many Iraqis are dead for oil. Two cars is double the risk of an auto collision and twice the resource consumption.
We’re talking here about a first date from the internet. I am a degreed professional; you know where I work and where I live. I hope to get quantitative data and first-hand accounts.
 
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lightning2blue is offline lightning2blue Post #2  November 27,2008, 7:18pm
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Hey D


Not meaning to insult you or any decent guy out there, but personal safety is a valid concern. I always drive my car when I'm meeting someone for the first time. I always tell family members where I'm going and give them as much information as I can about who I'll be with. My sons call my cell to check on me a couple times to see if things are going OK. I call them when I leave my date and when I arrive back home.


Every one in cyberwolrd is not who they say they are, nor is everyone in the real world.
 
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kewlbri125 is offline kewlbri125 Post #3  November 27,2008, 7:22pm
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Bottom line: Until you meet them, you don't know them. Better safe than sorry. If I can verify her name by googling that's great, but I will still suggest meeting somewhere partly because I know she doesn't know me and I think that's a gentlemanly gesture.


If I can't verify her by googling, we meet there regardless.
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #4  November 27,2008, 7:41pm
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Yes, first date/meet, for sure I drive myself and make sure that friends know where I am. While everyone I have met so far has been on the level, as lightning2blue said, not everyone is who they say they are.
 
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AC53 is offline AC53 Post #5  November 27,2008, 7:54pm
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D_Lion, wrote :
As part of a long list of first date do’s and don’ts, I wrote: “Two people departing from near each other driving two cars to go to the same restaurant is insanity.”
“I would not hold this choice against the woman, but I would take it as indicative of excess concern; or, more to the point, mis-prioritization of concern, which is an element of reason and critical thinking” – which I hold as a selection criteria.
“I contend until someone comes with data to prove me wrong, that dating is not dangerous, at least not materially so relative to background risks we must face – which leaves us with the message we send by our choice.”
I had in mind, but did not write: some allege that thousands of our soldiers and ten times as many Iraqis are dead for oil. Two cars is double the risk of an auto collision and twice the resource consumption.
We’re talking here about a first date from the internet. I am a degreed professional; you know where I work and where I live. I hope to get quantitative data and first-hand accounts.
You want empiracle data? Enter this in row 1 of your spreadsheet:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7250939.stm


Here's the definition of safety from webster.com:1: the condition of being safe from undergoing or causing hurt, injury, or loss.


On a first date, or second or third or until hell freezes over,when the date is the result of an internet dating engine like eh, nobody knows nobody until they meet face to face, no matter how many 'gee we have a lot in common' eh mails are exchanged. It's easy to hide behind emails.


So now, why exactly areyou questioningthe strategy of separately driving to a restaurant to meet a person for the first time?
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #6  November 27,2008, 8:11pm
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sabete2002,362223 wrote :

Yes, first date/meet, for sure I drive myself and make sure that friends know where I am.* While everyone I have met so far has been on the level, as lightning2blue said, not everyone is who they say they are.
absolutely!


have a complete stranger pick me up?
 
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m8se69 is offline m8se69 Post #7  November 27,2008, 8:23pm
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Not only are there safety reasons involved...but what if you need to bail-out quick? Can you tell your date to take you home because he's a pig? Wouldn't that lead to an even more dangerous situation?
 
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cindy_lou_who is offline cindy_lou_who Post #8  November 27,2008, 8:33pm
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I've been slipped drugs twice over the years. Not everyone is on the up-and-up.





Basic safety requirements for me:





Provide own transportation.


Meet in a public, well-populated place.


Have someone know where this place is, the name and all relevant information of the person I'm meeting, and plan a check in time with them. Have them call me if I don't check in.





I've never needed them to come find me, or call the police to come find me - but it's nice to know that someone has my back just in case.





This would make me undateable for you OP -- but that's ok. Internet dating is a lot like hitchhiking, or hiking alone, or any other activity that has some risk - you do it, you enjoy it, but you minimize your risks, and make sure someone always has your back.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #9  November 27,2008, 8:35pm
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sabete2002,362223 wrote :

Yes, first date/meet, for sure I drive myself and make sure that friends know where I am. While everyone I have met so far has been on the level, as lightning2blue said, not everyone is who they say they are.
I definately agree with this. You never know who is on the other side and what they are thinking. It's one thing to be at home tapping away at a computer keyboard, safe and warm at home, and another to be waiting outside of a restaurant wondering if he or she will appear and how they will act in person.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #10  November 27,2008, 8:36pm
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Well, we have uniformity of opinion so far ... Any actual bad experience? Anybody had a problem?
The worst I’ve had is a few women showing up late.
Oops, – now I have to edit - Cindy_Lou’s post showed up as I composed.
 
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