Elitha is offline Elitha Post #11  November 28,2008, 7:02am
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I agree about the respect issue. I have a son and taught middle school kids for 9 years. I was also raised by a Quaker and a military officer. I may not have liked what was going on, but showing it in front of adults was out of the question. It's not against the law to hold this generation to those standards, ya know.


At the same time, the girl is a teenager. It was the 4th. She would have fared better hanging out with her friends, and warming up to the new boyfriend on her own terms.


I advise that you talk to your significant other about YOUR values, and how you thought the incident was out of order. If she agrees, great. If not, then move on...you two won't ever see eye to eye.
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #12  November 28,2008, 11:37am
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BikerBeagle,361746 wrote :

Frankly, if that had been my daughter, she would've found herself punished (grounded) for her rude and disrespectful behavior. I don't behave that way when she brings her friends over - some of which I don't care for - she doesn't get to treat my friends like that. Plain and simple.
"I don't behave that way when she brings her friends over..."


ROFL! I've wondered how my daughter in particular would react to her mom having a mood meltdown in public...
 
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twee is offline twee Post #13  November 28,2008, 12:20pm
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Edmondo, wrote :
This happened to me and still makes me wonder.

I am going out with a women with two kids. One is 12 and the other is 15. It was coming up to the fourth of July I asked what are they up to and she said she didn’t have plan and was going to stay home. So I asked how about finding something or do something and she agreed. So I found a town BBQ in the next town. When I showed up to go her oldest daughter didn’t want to go, so I said leave her but my GF insisted she comes. Well when we got to the BBQ the daughter refused to get out of the car. Actually she and her mother had a chat for a half a hour. So after the BBQ we went to a ice cream parlor and the daughter didn’t want ice cream but once again the mother pushed it on her. When we got back to her house the daughter went into her room. Her mother went into the room and talked for a while. A little while later my GF told me I had to leave because her daughter was in a bad.

At this point I am wondering who is the adult in her house.
I think, when you date a single parent and decides to stay in the relationship the kids instantly become your kids and you are responsible to do what any loving parent does this includes: help and support your partner in becomming a good parent, treat the kids with genuine love and respect, provide the kids with guidence. This is a challenging experience but can be most rewarding when both your partner and the kids (who are now your own) looks at you as a family member they do not want to be with out.


Good Luck
 
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twee is offline twee Post #14  November 28,2008, 12:31pm
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BikerBeagle,361746 wrote :

Frankly, if that had been my daughter, she would've found herself punished (grounded) for her rude and disrespectful behavior. I don't behave that way when she brings her friends over - some of which I don't care for - she doesn't get to treat my friends like that. Plain and simple.
I like your "plain and simple" parenting style but have you ever consider to look at the whole thing from that child's point of view? May be the acting out is resulted from confussion and hurt because she is thinking where do I fit in between all this new mess of events and feelings. Why do I no longer have all my mother's time and attention. What the heck is happening?
 
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