I am 40 and I live at home with my mom, would you date me?


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Riles is offline Riles Post #21  November 26,2008, 3:39pm
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I am in a similar situation to the writer. I had lived on my own since I was 19 years old. In 2000 my mother fell and broke her hip. My older brother moved in and began caring for the property and doing other things she was incapable of doing herself. She is not an invalid, but shopping and running the lawnmower are out of the question. After my separation/divorce I rented my own place. But as I spent more and more time relieving my brother it seemed all I was using the apartment for was a flop house. I decided to rent my old room from my mother and give her that money. It’s certainly not ideal for me and not where I pictured myself at this point in my life. I have not hid any of this from any woman I have dated and it always seems to signal the end of our dating.


Btw Dylan, I do have a job, make good money, I’m 6’4”, have an AA and a non-smoker ;-)
 
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wiitwd2 is offline wiitwd2 Post #22  November 26,2008, 6:29pm
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dylanmackay, wrote :

Hy everyone,


I live in a major metro area with my mom. It's very expensive to move out on my own. I am a really nice guy, butI am finding it very difficult to maintaina relationship once they figure out that I live eith my mom. So, would you have any apprehension to dating a guy who lives at home with his mom?
Yes, I would have reservations...if a man weren't capable of living on his own, I would be less interested. If he had the means to live alone, but just didn't want to step out on his own, I would be a bit skeptical. However, if he were taking care of an elderly/sick mother, I could deal with that.
 
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Edmondo is offline Edmondo Post #23  November 26,2008, 8:23pm
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The big question I have is why do you live with your mother?'

Is she invalid?


If it is money you can always get a place with roommates
 
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Breezy26 is offline Breezy26 Post #24  November 26,2008, 9:19pm
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I'd be hesitant to date a man who lives at home with Mom. But, I think it depends on his reasons. If it's to care for an ill family member, I'd understand that. Family is important. If it was because he's fallen on hard times, I might consider that. It could happen to anyone. However, if he's at home because he does not want to live alone, wants the advantages that comes with living at home (such as Mom cooks, cleans, etc), is trying to avoid taking responsibility (like paying bills), I'd go nowhere near him. Because that makes me think he's not emotionally or financially stable.
 
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m8se69 is offline m8se69 Post #25  November 26,2008, 9:35pm
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My ex lives with his mother. He's 43,doesn't have a job, he drinks like a fish, and he's abusive to himself and others. If you are any of the above...the answer is No, I would not date you.


However, I know that not all who live with their parents are like that. It depends on the person, and the situation.
 
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Aussiegirrl is offline Aussiegirrl Post #26  November 26,2008, 9:55pm
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dylanmackay, wrote :

Hy everyone,


I live in a major metro area with my mom. It's very expensive to move out on my own. I am a really nice guy, butI am finding it very difficult to maintaina relationship once they figure out that I live eith my mom. So, would you have any apprehension to dating a guy who lives at home with his mom?
Have you always lived at home? Have you ever travelled overseas? Have you been studying full-time? Do you actaully have a job?


It is really hard togivean accurate answer to your question, because you don't suppy enough infromation.


Personally, I would date a guy who lived with his mum, but it would really depend on the type of guy he was. I mean, if he was educated and well-travelled and intelligent and the place he lived in was really spacious, then it wouldn't be a problem. But, if he had never ventured out on his own and didn't have a good job or any potential to ever get a good job, then I probably wouldn't have much in common with him. For example, if the house was small and cramped and his mum didn't have her own social life, then that would be a big problem!
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #27  November 27,2008, 2:24am
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dylanmackay, wrote :

Hy everyone,


I live in a major metro area with my mom. It's very expensive to move out on my own. I am a really nice guy, butI am finding it very difficult to maintaina relationship once they figure out that I live eith my mom. So, would you have any apprehension to dating a guy who lives at home with his mom?
It all depends on your attitude towards it and how you deal with it. You need to be up front and honest with the women about it, and you have to hope the women you meet don't have roomates and are willing to let you over to her house.


I met a couple of women who lived with their mom's, and neither of them went past the first meeting. It was just too much baggage for me.
 
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duragold is offline duragold Post #28  November 27,2008, 4:15am
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dylanmackay, wrote :

Hy everyone,


I live in a major metro area with my mom. It's very expensive to move out on my own. I am a really nice guy, butI am finding it very difficult to maintaina relationship once they figure out that I live eith my mom. So, would you have any apprehension to dating a guy who lives at home with his mom?
I think that is just one of many things to consider. If you are not a mommas boy and perhaps your mom has some health issues and also are trying to save money then that is another story. But if you live at home to avoid being a responsible self reliant man then hell no. I would if you were compatible with me, athletic, kind, confident but not cocky, and an overall great guy with good values. Hope this helps.


Edie
 
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duragold is offline duragold Post #29  November 27,2008, 4:23am
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saulgoode,361178 wrote :

My old cube-mate, back when I started engineering, lived with his mom. He bought a two-story house and made the bottom half hers, the top half his.


I forget where his dad was -- dead, I think.


Anyway, his mom used to be a nurse at a state hospital, back when he was a kid. Some crazy dude clubbed her skull in real nice. I never met her, but everyone said she talked like Yoda, in backwards sentences. Her motor skills were shot.


I figured he was doomed. No girl I knew would come near him. He was decent-looking, tall and dark-headed,nice, funny anda little nerdy, intelligentand responsible, made good money, was a great caretaker.


But... he lived with Mom. Till forever. And she still had a good twenty or thirty years left in her.


He gamed a lot.


Then they laid him off.


- Saul
He sounds like a great catch. a man that loves his mother that much would love a woman when she got ill or tolerate a woman with bad periods every month and would be a man to grow old with. Any chance this guy lives in florida .I live in Ocala Florida work in the medical field and am very cute and athletic. Sounds like thewomen he dated are pretty shallow not to see the truly unusual goodness and selflessness in such a person.
 
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nancymargrit is offline nancymargrit Post #30  November 27,2008, 6:15am

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I live with my parents for financial reasons. They still charge me rent and part of the utilities but it's a whole lot cheaper than moving out on my own. I also help around the house with certain chores that they aren't able to do anymore (grass cutting, snow shoveling, painting, minor fix up jobs, etc.) My mother had a mastectomy 11 years ago and some of the lymph glands were removed on her right side (the side that had the cancer in it). She has a lot of pain in her right arm and can't lift heavy things anymore. My father suffers from a dizzy condition similar to Menieres disease and isn't allowed to do strenuous work anymore either. It's a bonus for them to have me here - they don't have to hire anyone to do the yard and general maintenance work for them.


I've had full-time jobs in the past but have decided to work from home for the time being so that I can concentrate on finishing my herbal medicine and nutrition studies. Working from home saves some time and money on the commute to and from work.


I feel that if I have to start explaining my actions to a man then I don't need to be in the relationship. If I have to explain my actions before marriage, then I'll probably have to explain my actions after marriage as well. This isn't the best kind of relationship to be in.
 
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