My my my, how our standards change when we're online


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StatGamer is offline StatGamer Post #61  November 27,2008, 5:02pm
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Because of this very disconnect the OP states, I created a list of n for myself that were absolute complete dealbreakers (e.g., not about smoking, drinking, height, but character). That list has been a lifesaver and has helped me be open minded with what might have previously been the "wrong demographic" for me.


My list included stuff like honesty, fiscal responsibility, reliability and a few other thiings that are absolute dealbreakers for me and it has been one of the best things I've done for myself to aid my dating experiences. Because as we've all said, online and offline dates proceed in a very different fashion but ultimately we are looking for teh same thing. So rather than get caught up in the details of how it happens, I have started to focus on WHAT needs to happen in order for it to work for me. So far, it's working.
 
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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #62  November 28,2008, 6:18am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy,359033 wrote :

Honestly, think about it: Why do people join on-line dating services? Many on the advice boards say, "Because they aren't getting quality dates." In other words: We've been out with too many people thatdidn't meet our standards. Our standards don't change online. The internet just allows us to more openly broadcast our standards.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #63  November 28,2008, 7:15am
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I think it's because we don't know who we are looking for online. The system matches us up, and then we go from there. I can't go "on" right now because my membership is still in limbo, so I can't "see" who I am talking with except for on here. Both the men and the women both bark about the same problems, that they don't "see"anyone that they are interested in. Become blind for one day,and just go on what they like to do and what they say, for once. For example, the site shouldn't allow pictures of anyone. We are too much into seeing people for what they look like; are they blond, blue-eyed, tall, slim and slender, great physique, there we go , we have a winner. Not everyone is going to be the same, thank-god. We are not clones and neither should we be. My standards haven't changed, I have always liked someone with a good sense of humor, a college education, good job and likes to talk and listen as much as I do. Likes to go camping, loves to exercise and read, loves family, was married once, has two kids and wants someone with similar tastes in her life , again. I am willing to be flexable on some things, but we can talk about it later. And I've met some nice guys on here, whether or not I'll get to meet them, who knows, but I am having a good time doing it. Just as long as I don't meet up with Jack the Ripper, I'm fine.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #64  November 28,2008, 7:15am
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I think it's because we don't know who we are looking for online. The system matches us up, and then we go from there. I can't go "on" right now because my membership is still in limbo, so I can't "see" who I am talking with except for on here. Both the men and the women both bark about the same problems, that they don't "see"anyone that they are interested in. Become blind for one day,and just go on what they like to do and what they say, for once. For example, the site shouldn't allow pictures of anyone. We are too much into seeing people for what they look like; are they blond, blue-eyed, tall, slim and slender, great physique, there we go , we have a winner. Not everyone is going to be the same, thank-god. We are not clones and neither should we be. My standards haven't changed, I have always liked someone with a good sense of humor, a college education, good job and likes to talk and listen as much as I do. Likes to go camping, loves to exercise and read, loves family, was married once, has two kids and wants someone with similar tastes in her life , again. I am willing to be flexable on some things, but we can talk about it later. And I've met some nice guys on here, whether or not I'll get to meet them, who knows, but I am having a good time doing it. Just as long as I don't meet up with Jack the Ripper, I'm fine.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #65  November 28,2008, 7:15am
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I think it's because we don't know who we are looking for online. The system matches us up, and then we go from there. I can't go "on" right now because my membership is still in limbo, so I can't "see" who I am talking with except for on here. Both the men and the women both bark about the same problems, that they don't "see"anyone that they are interested in. Become blind for one day,and just go on what they like to do and what they say, for once. For example, the site shouldn't allow pictures of anyone. We are too much into seeing people for what they look like; are they blond, blue-eyed, tall, slim and slender, great physique, there we go , we have a winner. Not everyone is going to be the same, thank-god. We are not clones and neither should we be. My standards haven't changed, I have always liked someone with a good sense of humor, a college education, good job and likes to talk and listen as much as I do. Likes to go camping, loves to exercise and read, loves family, was married once, has two kids and wants someone with similar tastes in her life , again. I am willing to be flexable on some things, but we can talk about it later. And I've met some nice guys on here, whether or not I'll get to meet them, who knows, but I am having a good time doing it. Just as long as I don't meet up with Jack the Ripper, I'm fine.
 
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tyeflash is offline tyeflash Post #66  November 28,2008, 8:59am
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curious_girl,358593 wrote :

Saul; you are a cutie, you are intelligent and thoughtful; and you will meet the right woman; wether in real life or on eH I don't know. You do raise a valid point though; I've noticed it myself. Maybe we are trying to find our ideal; and we don't think anyone outside of our ideal is worth investing in eH for? Or the energy in getting to know them or meet them in person?
I agree there are matches that I've got that wont talk to me here,but somewhere else they might.I can talk to anyone about anything ,but shy when it comes to asking somone out on date.dont get me wrong I dated before I got married in 1996. It took everything I had to ask. when I was teenager lets say I had nice butt,to go with my blue eyes.Now 15 years later i have my eyes!
 
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