10 Reasons he Won't Commit

10 Reasons he Won't Commit

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10 Reasons he Won't Commit


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naamah1835 is offline naamah1835 Post #31  July 29,2009, 2:55pm
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These are interesting exerts on men not commiting.
But the author clearly has not examined other possiblities.
I've dated some guys over 45 who are serial daters.
This comes more from short comings than any other reason, and can be hard to spot at first.
Some of these guys have been rejected early in life. Some are just not up to measure sexually. They have built and rely on a image of being a player that their friends buy into. Even women buy into it.
Most likely this started in high school.
After a while fiction becomes blurred with the truth.
It becomes easier to date and run than to face the facts and settle down. The image of being a player and admired by friends is easier than settlling down with one woman. Even one who accepts his short-comings.
 
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seekerd is offline seekerd Post #32  February 17,2011, 8:59am
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Red Sox Girl wrote :
There's only one reason someone (either sex) won't commit - because they don't want to!
Sure. These are the 10 reasons they don't want to.
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #33  February 17,2011, 9:27am
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Red Sox Girl wrote :
There's only one reason someone (either sex) won't commit - because they don't want to!
You're right... and that reason is: You’re Just Not that One.

All the other stuff is just words/excuses...
 
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rawbean1974 is offline rawbean1974 Post #34  March 10,2011, 9:30am
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you know this sounds exactly like my situation with the guy i been seeing for iver 5 years. so whats my problem why do i choose to stay? well over the time inwhich obviousely i been wasting, i recently am noticing he has made some changes in his behavior. although still has not stepped up as a man. so ya i'm preety confused with this one. yet i tell myself a little longer. i'm biggining to think not. he says wait till his son is out of the house when he's 18. which is in a few months. i don't know about this one. i waited this long for something i now might not want anymore. don't get me wrong this whole time i know this, so i keep my options open just in case. you see i well aware of whats going on.
 
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WisGal is offline WisGal Post #35  April 28,2011, 1:55pm
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I am quite confused and not sure what to think about this guy I met on E-Harmony about 6 months ago. I really, really like him, and would love to take things past the friend stage, but he seems to be in no hurry to do so. I know he really likes me as well, but I'm not sure exactly what to think about how he behaves towards me. I would really love to be able to "get inside his head".We started communicating in Nov. of 2010. "John" is a very successful and driven individual. Always busy.  He once said of himself, "I am not a little man. I know what I want."  He is a very confident, strong man--a leader. Right away he seemed very interested and excited about me. We emailed back and forth extensively, and then after a few weeks, he asked if I would be willing to Skype, and so we began Skyping about once a week. He asked for my number, so we began texting every day, and talking about once a week as well. He was always happy, sweet, and seemed quite excited about me. He almost always initiated the contact, and since he is such a strong leader, and seems to enjoy it,  I happily let him take control in this area. It just felt natural. He spoke frequently of wanting to come see me when he could get a break from his busy schedule.Then, about 3 months after we started talking, he started pulling away and seemingly losing some of his initial interest. He stopped calling, and texted me briefly every few days to say he was thinking of me, or something similar. But he didn't seem to have any interest in actually communicating any more. I initiated the contact occasionally when I didn't hear from him for awhile, and he always responded warmly but briefly. I chalked it up to him being extremely busy with work, (which he was), and decided not to worry too much.  I didn't want to come across as needy or insecure, or like I was chasing him, so I usually refrained from contacting him during the periods of silence. I just focused on the other guys I was dating instead. Then, about month 4, I basically never heard from at all. I pretty much just put him out of my mind at that point, as I assumed he had lost interest or found somebody else. I dated other guys. Then, about a month ago, he contacts me out of the blue and says he has missed me and really wants to meet me. I told him that I was going to visit my sister in a different state for a few weeks. It just so happens that she lives a couple of hours away from him. He said he wanted to take me for a date while I was at my sister's place, so I agreed.So, we finally had our first date a few weeks ago. It seemed to go really well. He took me for lunch, a nice drive, and coffee. I could tell he really liked me, and he told me so. "I really, really like you" he said. "You have a lot of what I want--I think you could be everything". At the end of the date, he said he wanted to see me again before I went home. The next few days he texted me regularly, and it seemed his old interest had been resparked. Then it slowed, and lately he texts me briefly every couple days to ask how I am, and to say he's thinking of me.He is coming back to see me in a few days before I head home. I am not sure if I should attempt to broach my confusion about where we stand, or allow him to take the lead. I really do want more, but not sure how to communicate this to him without making him pull away or feel like I am smothering him in some way. I really do need to know some how if he does see any possibility of a future, or if I he is not actually very serious. He said several times on our date that he wished he knew what the future holds for us, but that we need to "keep praying about it". Is he just giving me an excuse? Most other guys I have dated seem to know quite early on whether they desire a true relationship with me or not. How do I know if he is just taking things slow and actually wants to build a relationship with me, or if he is just leading me on? Should I try to bring this up on our next date, or just let him lead? I would love some insight.  
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #36  April 28,2011, 3:31pm
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Hello Wisegal and welcome to the boards.

You will get a much better response if you copy your post into a new thread as this one is quite dated.

My advice to you would be to definitely bring up your concerns with this guy. If he is a leader he should find no problem with a direct approach, he may even appreciate it more than you know, he might admire a girl who knows what she wants and stands up for it. It is your heart afterall and you have every right to ask some questions before giving it away. It is especially important to have clear communication when dealing with a long distance situation such as this.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #37  April 29,2011, 9:39am
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Once again this "eHarmony staff" has implied that it is only guys that won't commit. Women are just as likely to not be willing to commit
 
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