KittheWildKat is offline KittheWildKat Post #21  November 1,2008, 2:56pm
KittheWildKat's Avatar

Grab the lemons kids, I got the vodka for this party

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2008

Chesapeake City, MD

Posts: 10

See profile



I don't really see a problem with it. I'd rather e-mail the person. I'd use the communication for a little while until I knew I was comfortable with them and then switch.


Or at least i can say that. lol I haven't gotten quite that far yet. Here's hoping.
 
  Reply With Quote
japaneseblueeyes is offline japaneseblueeyes Post #22  November 2,2008, 8:07am
japanesebluee…'s Avatar

Kobe Umeda on FaceBook Prefers the ugly truth to beautiful lies.

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2008

On a farm on an island in the Orient

Posts: 3,087

See profile



I find that some guys seem to be collecting emails and phone numbers then quickly closing to pursue other matches.
 
  Reply With Quote
lizard47 is offline lizard47 Post #23  November 2,2008, 9:16am
lizard47's Avatar

who you surround yourself with tells what you really believe

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2008

Midwest

Posts: 1,630

See profile



It doesn't bother me, but I politely would tell them that I preferred to chat via email for a little while before talking on the phone.


I understand your concerns, but some guys just feel more comfortable talking on the phone. Personally I like instant message for online communication because it is more like a convo than emailing back and forth.
 
  Reply With Quote
WhereIsHe is offline WhereIsHe Post #24  November 2,2008, 7:02pm
WhereIsHe's Avatar

is feeling good

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2008

San Diego, CA

Posts: 138

See profile



I have gone thru the question pretty quickly with two matches in about 4-5 days. (usually it takes weeks or sometimes 1 month to get thru all the questions.)


Anyway, if the guy gives me his phone number...and if I feel comfortable enough I just say here's my number ----- and then tell him I will be home after work around 6pm...or whatever time.


I think most guys want to get to the phone and meet IN PERSON because really email is slow and it's still difficult to know if there's any chemistry or anything else there.


I tend to feel this way too. I really don't like emailing back and forth for days or weeks. I prefer the call...chat shortly on the phone...then if he says well do you want to meet...and then meet at some location 1/2 way between the two of us and make sure to tell a friend or two when and where you are going and be sure to be cautious.


I am always cautious! I would meet them at night but also be sure to have your cell with you and if you are worried about safety tell your friend to call and check on you after an hour or something.


Also...you could give your friend his phone number and any other information just in case something ever happened. (i always tell friends or family....if anything happens to me...check my laptop..all communication is on eharmony or my emails...and i tell them to get authorities to check into it if they cannot figure it out.


People always be SAFE!!! And go to a well lit place. And...be sure to NOT leave the restaurant or parking lot if you are scared of the person...if they are a psycho...then excuse yourself..go to the bathroom and tell some waiter or someone to help you.


I am saying all the above...cause in todays world we all have to be careful !! ;-)
 
  Reply With Quote
dtg_diz is offline dtg_diz Post #25  November 2,2008, 7:20pm
dtg_diz's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 25

See profile

BuzWeaver,318030 wrote :

dtg_diz, wrote :


Why do guys want you to call them or email them on their personal email as soon as OC opens up? I don't feel it is necessary to give out any personal information until you have met. I've met some I didn't even want to give my info to after a meeting?


This puts me off a bit. Anyone else?


Its going to vary by individual and how you feel about the conversation you've had during the communication process. I sent you an innocuous PM here, but never heard from you, if I were going to take a wild guess, I'd say you're very selective about who you choose to talk to. If you like someone enough perhaps you'd be more receptive with exchanging information early.
What's a PM?
 
  Reply With Quote
peg099 is offline peg099 Post #26  November 2,2008, 7:35pm
peg099's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Sep 2008

Canada

Posts: 12,516

See profile

tbesq,317593 wrote :

I usually ask for a phone number after about two e-mails, when I've learned more about her than what's on her profile. What happens sometimes is that if you spend too much time with online communication, you build up unrealistic expectations of that person and are sometimes disappointed when you actually meet them. So I don't move towards communication outside of eHarmony right, but definitely within a short time after. I've never had a woman object to giving me an outside e-mail or phone number.
Just to offer you an alternate perspective. I personally do not like giving out a phone number prior to meeting someone. However, I'm perfectly willing to arrange a coffee/tea meet after 2-3 emails. Partly I'm not a phone person unless I know the person, and partly I prefer to be able to get a read on someone in person before giving my phone number, last name, etc. I'm probably in the minority, but there are those of us who are willing to move beyond email but wouldn't be comfortable giving out a number.
 
  Reply With Quote
ScottK is offline ScottK Post #27  November 2,2008, 7:41pm
ScottK's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

PL, Minnesota

Posts: 2,301

See profile

dtg_diz,320118 wrote :

What's a PM?
PM = Private Message.


To your original point, I am definitely not a phone guy, so I personally like to email a few times, and then ask her out for a coffee "meeting". Generally at that point, exchanging phone numbers has to occur, since you both need to make sure if something comes up, that you can get ahold of the other person...


One thing I do feel VERY strongly on, is that you do need to physically get out and meet your Matches as soon as you feel comfortable doing so.


Emailing too long, or talking on the phone for too long, is just not a good idea.


Either you or your Match might start to "fall" for the other, and when you finally meet, if the chemistry is not there, it can really be devasting for both sides...
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #28  November 2,2008, 8:04pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile



LonelyStarState,317227 wrote :


so that we can send you hot teas!!! pretty flower picturesthat match your pretty eyes=o)


now PM me your email address!! =oP


hmmmmm, sounds vaguely familiar...
 
  Reply With Quote
last12C is offline last12C Post #29  November 2,2008, 8:28pm
last12C's Avatar

Is finding plenty to be thankful for :-)

Virtuoso

Joined: Apr 2008

So CA

Posts: 2,997

See profile

lacedwithhope,320205 wrote :

LonelyStarState,317227 wrote :


so that we can send you hot teas!!! pretty flower picturesthat match your pretty eyes=o)


now PM me your email address!! =oP


hmmmmm, sounds vaguely familiar...
hmmmmmm, yes, indeed it does...
 
  Reply With Quote
BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #30  November 4,2008, 5:47pm
BuzWeaver's Avatar

Researching the cure for liberalism

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2008

Atlanta

Posts: 1,412

See profile

dtg_diz,320118 wrote :

BuzWeaver,318030 wrote :


dtg_diz, wrote :


Why do guys want you to call them or email them on their personal email as soon as OC opens up? I don't feel it is necessary to give out any personal information until you have met. I've met some I didn't even want to give my info to after a meeting?


This puts me off a bit. Anyone else?


Its going to vary by individual and how you feel about the conversation you've had during the communication process. I sent you an innocuous PM here, but never heard from you, if I were going to take a wild guess, I'd say you're very selective about who you choose to talk to. If you like someone enough perhaps you'd be more receptive with exchanging information early.


What's a PM?
That may explain it, LOL.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Photos do soooo matter! | Dating | Light hug after your date... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ...90%????? I'd say it's more like 60 to 70 percent of women who say they offer to pay on the first and subsequent dates, and/or have no problem with going dutch. I'm in the pool of women who ... ” –  legend29

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“I think you were there when he was hurting, and she was there when he wanted fun. He chose fun as a long term partner. That's understandable. The posters who've said you might be a reminder of the ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“ I know exactly where you are coming from. I went in thinking "man, it is just an email. Fire off a response, yeah or nay. What is the big deal?" but the truth is a little more complicated. Plus, I ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “Guided Communication VS Email” discussion

“ I believe you and I got confused for a second. I didn't hit the Police officer. I hit the lady in front of me and then someone reported the accident and he came to check it out. That's how I met ... ” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“My bf just gave me advice about an adult child. I was in shock. He's never done that before. I didn't think he cared at all. The advice was really good too. It was supportive and I could see ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:06pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0