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KittheWildKat KittheWildKat is offline
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KittheWildKat Grab the lemons kids, I got the vodka for this party

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I don't really see a problem with it. I'd rather e-mail the person. I'd use the communication for a little while until I knew I was comfortable with them and then switch.


Or at least i can say that. lol I haven't gotten quite that far yet. Here's hoping.
- November 1st, 2008, 04:56 pm
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japaneseblueeyes japaneseblueeyes is offline
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I find that some guys seem to be collecting emails and phone numbers then quickly closing to pursue other matches.
- November 2nd, 2008, 10:07 am
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lizard47 lizard47 is offline
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It doesn't bother me, but I politely would tell them that I preferred to chat via email for a little while before talking on the phone.


I understand your concerns, but some guys just feel more comfortable talking on the phone. Personally I like instant message for online communication because it is more like a convo than emailing back and forth.
- November 2nd, 2008, 11:16 am
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WhereIsHe WhereIsHe is offline
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I have gone thru the question pretty quickly with two matches in about 4-5 days. (usually it takes weeks or sometimes 1 month to get thru all the questions.)


Anyway, if the guy gives me his phone number...and if I feel comfortable enough I just say here's my number ----- and then tell him I will be home after work around 6pm...or whatever time.


I think most guys want to get to the phone and meet IN PERSON because really email is slow and it's still difficult to know if there's any chemistry or anything else there.


I tend to feel this way too. I really don't like emailing back and forth for days or weeks. I prefer the call...chat shortly on the phone...then if he says well do you want to meet...and then meet at some location 1/2 way between the two of us and make sure to tell a friend or two when and where you are going and be sure to be cautious.


I am always cautious! I would meet them at night but also be sure to have your cell with you and if you are worried about safety tell your friend to call and check on you after an hour or something.


Also...you could give your friend his phone number and any other information just in case something ever happened. (i always tell friends or family....if anything happens to me...check my laptop..all communication is on eharmony or my emails...and i tell them to get authorities to check into it if they cannot figure it out.


People always be SAFE!!! And go to a well lit place. And...be sure to NOT leave the restaurant or parking lot if you are scared of the person...if they are a psycho...then excuse yourself..go to the bathroom and tell some waiter or someone to help you.


I am saying all the above...cause in todays world we all have to be careful !! ;-)





- November 2nd, 2008, 09:02 pm
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dtg_diz dtg_diz is offline
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BuzWeaver wrote :

dtg_diz, wrote :


Why do guys want you to call them or email them on their personal email as soon as OC opens up? I don't feel it is necessary to give out any personal information until you have met. I've met some I didn't even want to give my info to after a meeting?


This puts me off a bit. Anyone else?


Its going to vary by individual and how you feel about the conversation you've had during the communication process. I sent you an innocuous PM here, but never heard from you, if I were going to take a wild guess, I'd say you're very selective about who you choose to talk to. If you like someone enough perhaps you'd be more receptive with exchanging information early.
What's a PM?
- November 2nd, 2008, 09:20 pm
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peg099 peg099 is offline
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tbesq wrote :

I usually ask for a phone number after about two e-mails, when I've learned more about her than what's on her profile. What happens sometimes is that if you spend too much time with online communication, you build up unrealistic expectations of that person and are sometimes disappointed when you actually meet them. So I don't move towards communication outside of eHarmony right, but definitely within a short time after. I've never had a woman object to giving me an outside e-mail or phone number.
Just to offer you an alternate perspective. I personally do not like giving out a phone number prior to meeting someone. However, I'm perfectly willing to arrange a coffee/tea meet after 2-3 emails. Partly I'm not a phone person unless I know the person, and partly I prefer to be able to get a read on someone in person before giving my phone number, last name, etc. I'm probably in the minority, but there are those of us who are willing to move beyond email but wouldn't be comfortable giving out a number.
- November 2nd, 2008, 09:35 pm
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ScottK ScottK is offline
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dtg_diz wrote :

What's a PM?
PM = Private Message.


To your original point, I am definitely not a phone guy, so I personally like to email a few times, and then ask her out for a coffee "meeting". Generally at that point, exchanging phone numbers has to occur, since you both need to make sure if something comes up, that you can get ahold of the other person...


One thing I do feel VERY strongly on, is that you do need to physically get out and meet your Matches as soon as you feel comfortable doing so.


Emailing too long, or talking on the phone for too long, is just not a good idea.


Either you or your Match might start to "fall" for the other, and when you finally meet, if the chemistry is not there, it can really be devasting for both sides...


- November 2nd, 2008, 09:41 pm
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lacedwithhope lacedwithhope is offline
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LonelyStarState wrote :


so that we can send you hot teas!!! pretty flower picturesthat match your pretty eyes=o)


now PM me your email address!! =oP


hmmmmm, sounds vaguely familiar...
- November 2nd, 2008, 10:04 pm
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last12C last12C is offline
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lacedwithhope wrote :

LonelyStarState wrote :


so that we can send you hot teas!!! pretty flower picturesthat match your pretty eyes=o)


now PM me your email address!! =oP


hmmmmm, sounds vaguely familiar...
hmmmmmm, yes, indeed it does...
- November 2nd, 2008, 10:28 pm
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BuzWeaver BuzWeaver is offline
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dtg_diz wrote :

BuzWeaver wrote :


dtg_diz, wrote :


Why do guys want you to call them or email them on their personal email as soon as OC opens up? I don't feel it is necessary to give out any personal information until you have met. I've met some I didn't even want to give my info to after a meeting?


This puts me off a bit. Anyone else?


Its going to vary by individual and how you feel about the conversation you've had during the communication process. I sent you an innocuous PM here, but never heard from you, if I were going to take a wild guess, I'd say you're very selective about who you choose to talk to. If you like someone enough perhaps you'd be more receptive with exchanging information early.


What's a PM?
That may explain it, LOL.
- November 4th, 2008, 07:47 pm
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