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iyampeachy iyampeachy is offline
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Separate email just works better and is easier to access from anywhere. Plus, it's very easy to set an account with how much or how little information you want to be available. It's also handy to have a separate account for dating purposes only so you can keep it separate from your other personal or work related emails.
- October 31st, 2008, 10:57 pm
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Songryder Songryder is offline
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dtg_diz, wrote :

Why do guys want you to call them or email them on their personal email as soon as OC opens up? I don't feel it is necessary to give out any personal information until you have met. I've met some I didn't even want to give my info to after a meeting?


This puts me off a bit. Anyone else?
Yep, it makes me really nervous and I'll decline and ask that we hang out a bit more but if he insists or tries to talk me into it, he gets "closed". For all the information I've divulged here, I live a relatively private life and I like to "invite" someone in and not have them break down the door.
- October 31st, 2008, 11:13 pm
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tbesq tbesq is offline
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I usually ask for a phone number after about two e-mails, when I've learned more about her than what's on her profile. What happens sometimes is that if you spend too much time with online communication, you build up unrealistic expectations of that person and are sometimes disappointed when you actually meet them. So I don't move towards communication outside of eHarmony right, but definitely within a short time after. I've never had a woman object to giving me an outside e-mail or phone number.
- November 1st, 2008, 08:58 am
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cp30 cp30 is offline
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I agree...its a bit much if its the first message into OC. I dont mind asking me for my personal email because that makes sense (Ive been timed out of eharm a few times from writing for too long, its pretty annoying, plus all that log in stuff...though I'd prefer if he waited a few rounds to ask me)


For the first time in a long time (I should probably take this topic to another board but this is just anecdotal) I am interested in 3 matches that I am OC with all at once!! I really like all 3 of them in different ways and might do that whole ...dating multiple people at the same time thing...for a little while anyway to see. ANYWAY. One of them, has dropped a few "points" (I don't really tally points..) because he's asked for my phone number right out the gate in OC. I'm not scared or uneasy about him. I think I still like him. Its just that I'd prefer he demonstrate his communication skills a bit in writing first... I don't feel a real "connection" enough yet to want to talk to him on the phone. I also might feel a bit nervous talking to a stranger (I'm not a phone person and consider phone numbers at first only neccessary to make plans or say if I 'm gonna be late or give him directions or whatever!)


I'd like to see a little more effort on his part to get to know me instead of instantly wanting to call me cause he thinks the process is just too arduous.


Like I said, I'm not a big phone person anyway, so thats part of it. But I just don't like the rush since we havn't developed a real connection yet.
- November 1st, 2008, 09:12 am
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DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
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Set up a gmail account or similar. This way you can send additional pictures, etc... One reason might be independence from the eH site... Perhaps their eH is running out and they don't want to continue there... gmail or a yahoo email address doesn't reveal anything about you, nor does it expose your personal email address.
- November 1st, 2008, 09:42 am
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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I volunteered my office e-mail and phone right away, as I will get those all day whereas I would have opportunity get on a dating website only a couple of times per week. Keep in mind that many people can not, or will not, use dating internet in their work place, but may be able to access Google and others that have free e-mail.

Also, as others mentioned, technical difficulties can impact eH. Formatting options and features tend to be greater, too. I really like having “reply with history” when I use e-mail, especially if I had more than one communication concurrently or we were “conversing.”

Personally, I favor a direct, straightforward woman, and I have had better success with women who divulge their personal contact info sooner. My experience in this area is that there is a large difference in the probability of an actual meeting and our ultimate actual compatibility between those who “hide” and “want to build a relationship over e-mail” versus those who step up, take it to the work e-mail, and then, you know, go on a date!

- November 1st, 2008, 09:43 am
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jeffreynevins jeffreynevins is offline
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I finally became a full member, and am willing to communicate as slowly as possible with matches in the Bay Area-


-as long as it takes less than three months when the membership expires.
- November 1st, 2008, 10:22 am
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treatmesweetly treatmesweetly is offline
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D_Lion wrote :

I volunteered my office e-mail and phone right away, as I will get those all day whereas I would have opportunity get on a dating website only a couple of times per week. Keep in mind that many people can not, or will not, use dating internet in their work place, but may be able to access Google and others that have free e-mail.

My employer blocks all internet email (yahoo, hotmail, gmail,AOL, etc.). But even if they didn't, I would not check personal email at work. Your work computer, workphone, work data storage devices, etc. are not yours, legally, they belong to your employer... including the data on them! Your employer has the legal right to monitor your emails (incoming and outgoing), your address list, your calling history, your phone list, your files, your photos, and anything else of yours that you choose to put on their equipment. Also, most employers have a strict policy about sending/receiving explicit content.


Do you really want to risk losing your job because some doofus thought you'd appreciate a photo of them in their birthday suit? Can you imagine the subsequent interviews?? ["Why did you leave your last job?"... "er, uh, well, I got fired for using my work computer as my personal dating service."] Not pretty. Be careful!
- November 1st, 2008, 04:14 pm
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BuzWeaver BuzWeaver is offline
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dtg_diz, wrote :

Why do guys want you to call them or email them on their personal email as soon as OC opens up? I don't feel it is necessary to give out any personal information until you have met. I've met some I didn't even want to give my info to after a meeting?


This puts me off a bit. Anyone else?
Its going to vary by individual and how you feel about the conversation you've had during the communication process. I sent you an innocuous PM here, but never heard from you, if I were going to take a wild guess, I'd say you're very selective about who you choose to talk to. If you like someone enough perhaps you'd be more receptive with exchanging information early.
- November 1st, 2008, 04:42 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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treatmesweetly wrote :

D_Lion wrote :

I volunteered my office e-mail and phone right away, as I will get those all day whereas I would have opportunity get on a dating website only a couple of times per week. Keep in mind that many people can not, or will not, use dating internet in their work place, but may be able to access Google and others that have free e-mail.


My employer blocks all internet email (yahoo, hotmail, gmail,AOL, etc.). But even if they didn't, I would not check personal email at work. Your work computer, workphone, work data storage devices, etc. are not yours, legally, they belong to your employer... including the data on them! Your employer has the legal right to monitor your emails (incoming and outgoing), your address list, your calling history, your phone list, your files, your photos, and anything else of yours that you choose to put on their equipment. Also, most employers have a strict policy about sending/receiving explicit content.


Do you really want to risk losing your job because some doofus thought you'd appreciate a photo of them in their birthday suit? Can you imagine the subsequent interviews?? ["Why did you leave your last job?"... "er, uh, well, I got fired for using my work computer as my personal dating service."] Not pretty. Be careful!

Yes, I know this, and you are right. Personally I would not send photos, forwarded “chain” garbage, stupid jokes, or anything explicit anyway because I think those are dumb. I would, and did, tell women that something they wrote was not to recur for this reason.

I did take or send simple e-mail, such as “I’m leaving work at 6:00, I will meet you at the restaurant by 7:00,” because these type of communications are standard practice for professionals during working hours using employer technology. (The only difference is I met the person on an internet site.)

If I am working 60+ hours a week, talking on my phone in my house during my evening with their factory in China to help with their problem, etc., I will have certain expectations about common sense and fair dealings – that I have bubbled up to management and won.

In my experience, I would be careful in a job that pays hourly, but in that type of job, their demands don’t intrude into my time unless accompanied by money.

- November 1st, 2008, 04:47 pm
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