LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #31  October 25,2008, 1:59pm

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lacedwithhope,308364 wrote :

rr4,308321 wrote :


lacedwithhope,308306 wrote :


rr4,308288 wrote :


May be they are just busy.


Ask a person who is genuinely flaky if they considered themselves to be flaky. What do you think they would they say? (Kinda like asking someone if they think they have a good sense of humor...)


Let me ask you this. If it 6:30 and you have a dinner date planned at 7. You are leaving work, when the client calls and asks for some help by midnight. What will you do?


I'd call my date to give them the heads up, zip by the office, see the patient for a brief emergency visit, charge them appropriately and show up to the date within 10 minutes of the agreed upon time. If I couldn't do that, I'd send the patient to the emergency room.
now i see why i had to sit in the er with a peniz pump stuck to me for 5 hours ===x
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope — Advice Member-Moderator Post #32  October 25,2008, 2:26pm
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Ouch. Sorry I didn't return your call LSS, I dropped my phone in the tub, and then when I went to check my messages the battery was dead on the other phone, and I couldn't find the charger, and my neighbor was away and I was feeding her cats and had the key, but couldnt find it, and...
 
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Court10 is offline Court10 Post #33  October 25,2008, 2:39pm
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I'm considering cancelling a first date tonight because it is POURING rain outside and I don't have a car so I'd have to walk to the spot we are going. I don't want to show up on the first date looking like a drowned rat! Is that flaky??
 
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chickwithbrains is offline chickwithbrains Post #34  October 25,2008, 2:41pm
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rr4,308166 wrote :


tropicalbella, wrote :


Has anyone here ever been dating someone who's flaky? Cancelling on the day or even last minute?


I don't feel like continue dating someone's flaky .. would it be so wrong?


I have, and I have been been flaky myself. People have a life. Which sometimes interferes with dating. It is what it is. I don't think it is a big deal.


sure life happens, but dating is part of life - a scheduled part. If it's an emergency, then ok, but otherwise that's just very disrespectful. The other person has blocked out that time as well - time they could have used for something else. Return the gesture.
 
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chickwithbrains is offline chickwithbrains Post #35  October 25,2008, 2:44pm
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rr4,308288 wrote :

lacedwithhope,308270 wrote :


rr4,308166 wrote :


I have, and I have been been flaky myself. People have a life. Which sometimes interferes with dating. It is what it is. I don't think it is a big deal.


I have a life, but I would never cancel or "forget" an event with the same person twice. I figure once couldn't happen due to extenuating circumstances, twice is a pattern. Although some men in their late 30's and early 40's do have midlife crisis thing going on which makes them unpredictable. Is that due to hormones, rr4? ; )


May be they are just busy.
if they are that busy - they shouldn't be scheduling dates.
 
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chickwithbrains is offline chickwithbrains Post #36  October 25,2008, 2:50pm
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Court10,308428 wrote :

I'm considering cancelling a first date tonight because it is POURING rain outside and I don't have a car so I'd have to walk to the spot we are going. I don't want to show up on the first date looking like a drowned rat! Is that flaky??
It edges on it. Can he pick you up?
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #37  October 25,2008, 2:51pm
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Court10,308428 wrote :

I'm considering cancelling a first date tonight because it is POURING rain outside and I don't have a car so I'd have to walk to the spot we are going. I don't want to show up on the first date looking like a drowned rat! Is that flaky??
You could just call the guy and make alternate plans that don't involve walking to that particular spot. Or you could try this newfangled invention called an "umbrella". ;-)


Call the guy up and change the meeting spot. I'm sure once you tell him your reasoning, he'll completely understand.


Cancelling altogether seems a little extreme to me, in this case, although I'm not sure I'd call you a flake for it. If you did it again on the next planned date, I'd start crafting you a "Flake" nametag, though. ;-)
 
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tropicalbella is offline tropicalbella Post #38  October 25,2008, 2:53pm
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+1 CWB and GP.


I do understand people have their own life - some have a very hectic ones. Yet CWB brought up a very valid point, dating is also part of life - and it is, indeed, a scheduled one - agreed upon. For some reasons I just found it is very disrespectful to cancel a date on the same day or last minute. And no, I'm not talking about some life emergencies or work or family related issues.


I can tolerate flakiness if it happens once in a while - with valid reason(s). But if I ever sense that it's just a made up excuses, I wouldn't even let him get to a 2nd chance.
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #39  October 25,2008, 2:57pm
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chickwithbrains,308429 wrote :


sure life happens, but dating is part of life - a scheduled part. If it's an emergency, then ok, but otherwise that's just very disrespectful. The other person has blocked out that time as well - time they could have used for something else. Return the gesture.


Generally I agree with you here- whether we really see eye-to-eye would hang on the definition of "emergency."


I've had a situation a few weeks ago where I had to cancel a date the night before it happened because a very important client of mine needed to meet with me about anupcoming project - and the only time they had available was co-incident with my date. The choice was either the date or the project, and I really needed the project with the economy the way it is right now.


What I did was call my date up, explain what was going on, and offer an immediate alternative, rather than let things 'hang'. To me, offering an immediate alternative is also a way of saying, "You really are important to me, and I want to make sure you know that I'm not just flaking out on you here."


She didn't seem to have a problem with it at all. Very understanding about the situation, and we had a nice evening the next night. I should note that this kind of situation doesn't happen with me a lot, but it does happen sometimes.
 
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tropicalbella is offline tropicalbella Post #40  October 25,2008, 2:57pm
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Court10,308428 wrote :

I'm considering cancelling a first date tonight because it is POURING rain outside and I don't have a car so I'd have to walk to the spot we are going. I don't want to show up on the first date looking like a drowned rat! Is that flaky??
I would suggest not to cancel. Call him and explain - who knows there's an alternative spot that you two can meet without getting soaked. And i think even if you're "soaking wet", he'd understand. Or move it to tomorrow.


The point that needed to get acrossed is that you genuinely want to meet him. I concern more about "wasting" other people's time by cancelling something last minute (appointment, date, etc).
 
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