What’s your take on this?


Reply
  • Page 2 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
ImmanuelInMyHeart is offline ImmanuelInMyHeart Post #11  October 22,2008, 6:58pm
ImmanuelInMyH…'s Avatar

Weather Forecast : The Father reigns

Enthusiast

Joined: Sep 2008

Dyersburg, TN

Posts: 573

See profile



I fourth Glider and would add that both of you assumed things that you didn't verify. Even though it does sound like she did a little improper leading, forgiveness is always the best policy all around.
 
  Reply With Quote
VictoriaJ is offline VictoriaJ Post #12  October 22,2008, 10:49pm
VictoriaJ's Avatar

is wondering what to do

Veteran

Joined: Oct 2008

West Coast, Canada

Posts: 2,071

See profile



First of all, SST, I'm really sorry to hear you went through that. It hurts just to read about it! I'm sending you a hug.


Second, as everyone else has said, Glider Pilot is right on. GP, have you considered starting your own syndicated advice column? Or getting EH to sponsor you on here? ;-)


I also agree with Songryder--watch out that she doesn't try to suck you back in! Not because she's "bad," but just because she's hurting. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
 
  Reply With Quote
hbgirl66 is offline hbgirl66 Post #13  October 22,2008, 11:07pm
hbgirl66's Avatar

still waiting for that blessing that isn't in disguise .... ;o)

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

So. Cal.

Posts: 1,105

See profile



I fifth Glider, or is it sixth?? And I second Songryder, or is it third ??? Those two have covered all beautifully. I can think of nothing to add.
 
  Reply With Quote
SSTeacher is offline SSTeacher Post #14  October 24,2008, 12:52pm
SSTeacher's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 3

See profile



Thanks for the moral support. This was/is perhaps the meanest thing anyone has done to me. Apparently she has been trying to dump husband 1.0 for two years in an effort to upgrade to husband 2.0.


I've learned that she is older, better educated, and makes more money than he does. I think she has trouble making smart decisions.
 
  Reply With Quote
Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #15  October 24,2008, 1:37pm
Oregon_Coast_…'s Avatar

Out by the dawn's early light, my love, I will defend your right to try.

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

OR

Posts: 2,392

See profile



Hey SS,


As much as I respect the teaching field, I have to say: She played you. Simple as that. She saw you as someone she could control, and look... she did control you.And the fact that you apologized to her is only inflating her andmakes her think you are a pathetic sap. (I'm not saying that you are, far from it. I'm saying that is what she thinks).


Obviously, her husband hurt her, and her agenda was to find a guy to hurt in order to try to help herself feel better. I mean, she had a principal tell you that she liked you. Come on, you're a middle school teacher (I work with middle school students as well, although in a different capacity). You should have seen the red flag with this method right away. And the principal playing along? Sorry, but your colleagues and your bosses are supposed to be more mature than the students you are teaching.
 
  Reply With Quote
PY is offline PY Post #16  October 24,2008, 1:48pm

Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 4,942

See profile



My opinion, not necessary to put "It was flattering that you were interested in me" Nothing is flattering about being used as a rebound.
 
  Reply With Quote
renewedguy is offline renewedguy Post #17  October 24,2008, 2:04pm
renewedguy's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2008

Woodland, CA

Posts: 49

See profile



Wow, seems like you took quite a fall! My advice is to just keep your distance from her. It's okay to remain as friends, but it's not okay to go out with someone who's still married to her husband. Imagine how messy things can get if her husband found out what was going on between you and her. You had a right to be angry at her for deceiving you based on what you saw - no engagement/wedding rings or bands and pictures of only her and her son. If I were misled that way, I too would get upset. She should have spoken the truth about being married sooner.
 
  Reply With Quote
Lindac7 is offline Lindac7 Post #18  October 24,2008, 2:29pm
Lindac7's Avatar

says: "Come and stand beside us, we can find a better way."

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

Portland, Oregon

Posts: 1,236

See profile



SSTeacher,


The advice you've been given is what I would have said. I would only add that if you are still single, available and interested in her after her divorce has been final for a year (which of course may or may not happen), only then would I recommend entertaining any thoughts of trying again. By then, however,you might be happily enmeshed in a relationship with someone far better.
 
  Reply With Quote
SSTeacher is offline SSTeacher Post #19  October 25,2008, 5:15am
SSTeacher's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 3

See profile



Follow up:


Oregon_Coast_Guy: Principal telling me was more of an FYI. He is not my principal or hers, he's at an elementary school and is a super guy.


PortlandYon: Agreed.


renewedguy: With me separated = married and I never would have approached her had I known. I've been "aware" of her for about a year. Never saw any rings or signs she was still married. She did have many opportunities to tell me of her status, always referred to her husband as "the father of my son."


Lindac7: I won't be entertaining any thoughts of reconnecting with her in the future. My trust in her is completely gone. I strongly suspect that the story she gave me (before learning of the husband) about her father losing his drivers license for 6 months due to DUI was a ploy to get 6 months to resolve things with her husband. She claimed to have to drive her dad everywhere he needs to go.
 
  Reply With Quote
rg26 is offline rg26 Post #20  October 25,2008, 6:03am
rg26's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2008

East Coast

Posts: 764

See profile



She was flirting with you. She did intentionally not mention she was married, undoubtably because she didn't plan to stay married. (the whole every other weekend thing is obviously an intentional misleading statement indicating she is divorced/seperated) For whatever reason she and her husband are trying to work things out. She now feels guilty and is trying to re-write history, as in 'I never flirted with you and you misunderstood me'. I think she wanted you to leave messages for her that her husband would find, but thats a guess. She wanted him back and used jealously to achieve her goal.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Anyone ever fire one back at their poofer?? | Dating | I have a questoin for the women. »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:25pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0