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ImmanuelInMyHeart ImmanuelInMyHeart is offline
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ImmanuelInMyHeart Be grateful. God is in control and always has your best interests at heart.

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I fourth Glider and would add that both of you assumed things that you didn't verify. Even though it does sound like she did a little improper leading, forgiveness is always the best policy all around.
- October 22nd, 2008, 07:58 pm
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VictoriaJ VictoriaJ is offline
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First of all, SST, I'm really sorry to hear you went through that. It hurts just to read about it! I'm sending you a hug.


Second, as everyone else has said, Glider Pilot is right on. GP, have you considered starting your own syndicated advice column? Or getting EH to sponsor you on here? ;-)


I also agree with Songryder--watch out that she doesn't try to suck you back in! Not because she's "bad," but just because she's hurting. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
- October 22nd, 2008, 11:49 pm
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hbgirl66 hbgirl66 is offline
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hbgirl66 still waiting for that blessing that isn't in disguise .... ;o)

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I fifth Glider, or is it sixth?? And I second Songryder, or is it third ??? Those two have covered all beautifully. I can think of nothing to add.
- October 23rd, 2008, 12:07 am
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SSTeacher SSTeacher is offline
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Thanks for the moral support. This was/is perhaps the meanest thing anyone has done to me. Apparently she has been trying to dump husband 1.0 for two years in an effort to upgrade to husband 2.0.


I've learned that she is older, better educated, and makes more money than he does. I think she has trouble making smart decisions.
- October 24th, 2008, 01:52 pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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Hey SS,


As much as I respect the teaching field, I have to say: She played you. Simple as that. She saw you as someone she could control, and look... she did control you.And the fact that you apologized to her is only inflating her andmakes her think you are a pathetic sap. (I'm not saying that you are, far from it. I'm saying that is what she thinks).


Obviously, her husband hurt her, and her agenda was to find a guy to hurt in order to try to help herself feel better. I mean, she had a principal tell you that she liked you. Come on, you're a middle school teacher (I work with middle school students as well, although in a different capacity). You should have seen the red flag with this method right away. And the principal playing along? Sorry, but your colleagues and your bosses are supposed to be more mature than the students you are teaching.
- October 24th, 2008, 02:37 pm
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PY Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

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My opinion, not necessary to put "It was flattering that you were interested in me" Nothing is flattering about being used as a rebound.


- October 24th, 2008, 02:48 pm
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renewedguy renewedguy is offline
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Wow, seems like you took quite a fall! My advice is to just keep your distance from her. It's okay to remain as friends, but it's not okay to go out with someone who's still married to her husband. Imagine how messy things can get if her husband found out what was going on between you and her. You had a right to be angry at her for deceiving you based on what you saw - no engagement/wedding rings or bands and pictures of only her and her son. If I were misled that way, I too would get upset. She should have spoken the truth about being married sooner.
- October 24th, 2008, 03:04 pm
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Lindac7 Lindac7 is offline
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SSTeacher,


The advice you've been given is what I would have said. I would only add that if you are still single, available and interested in her after her divorce has been final for a year (which of course may or may not happen), only then would I recommend entertaining any thoughts of trying again. By then, however,you might be happily enmeshed in a relationship with someone far better.
- October 24th, 2008, 03:29 pm
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SSTeacher SSTeacher is offline
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Follow up:


Oregon_Coast_Guy: Principal telling me was more of an FYI. He is not my principal or hers, he's at an elementary school and is a super guy.


PortlandYon: Agreed.


renewedguy: With me separated = married and I never would have approached her had I known. I've been "aware" of her for about a year. Never saw any rings or signs she was still married. She did have many opportunities to tell me of her status, always referred to her husband as "the father of my son."


Lindac7: I won't be entertaining any thoughts of reconnecting with her in the future. My trust in her is completely gone. I strongly suspect that the story she gave me (before learning of the husband) about her father losing his drivers license for 6 months due to DUI was a ploy to get 6 months to resolve things with her husband. She claimed to have to drive her dad everywhere he needs to go.
- October 25th, 2008, 06:15 am
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rg26 rg26 is offline
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She was flirting with you. She did intentionally not mention she was married, undoubtably because she didn't plan to stay married. (the whole every other weekend thing is obviously an intentional misleading statement indicating she is divorced/seperated) For whatever reason she and her husband are trying to work things out. She now feels guilty and is trying to re-write history, as in 'I never flirted with you and you misunderstood me'. I think she wanted you to leave messages for her that her husband would find, but thats a guess. She wanted him back and used jealously to achieve her goal.
- October 25th, 2008, 07:03 am
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