What qualifies for "physically fit" in a man's mind?


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sheera007 is offline sheera007 Post #21  October 22,2008, 8:37am
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Squire,303625 wrote :


What I learned is that people can achieve a certain level of fitness without necessarily looking the part. Hey, I applaud the effort!

But if someone chooses to describe themselves as "physically fit" in their profile, don't they understand that, without further explanation, there's an inherent expectation that they're going to look the part?





You would think so, wouldn't you? It shouldn't require further explanation. Despite the various 'definitions' of "fitness"(in this thread) I believe most people know what is usually meant by the term, as it is commonly used.

A person can defend his/her physique... and argue about the definition of fitness all day long. But, at the end of the day if s/hemaintains a level-of-fitness,that is readily apparent, there is no need for further explanation or defense.
 
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Squire is offline Squire Post #22  October 22,2008, 9:00am
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sheera007,303658 wrote :

Squire,303625 wrote :


What I learned is that people can achieve a certain level of fitness without necessarily looking the part. Hey, I applaud the effort!

But if someone chooses to describe themselves as "physically fit" in their profile, don't they understand that, without further explanation, there's an inherent expectation that they're going to look the part?





You would think so, wouldn't you? It shouldn't require further explanation. Despite the various 'definitions' of "fitness"(in this thread) I believe most people know what is usually meant by the term, as it is commonly used.

A persons can defend his/her physique... and argue about the definition of fitness all day long. But, at the end of the day if s/hemaintains a level-of-fitness,that is readily apparent, there is no need for further explanation or defense.
Hey Sheera *smiling*,


Well put! Those who subscribe to fitness as a lifestyle know how rare it is to be fit without at least resembling it.
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #23  October 22,2008, 9:10am
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DHMan,300575 wrote :

...And I'm talking the size 8 of 20 years ago, before all women's sizes were inflated to keep unfit women (who by then had become the majority) happy in the store...today's size 8 in all but Haute Couture sizing is really a size 10-12....
And this part is absolutely spot on. My last job before going out on my own was for a major sportswear clothing company. Even though they catered to the youth market, the women's/juniors division in particular did a lot of this. In talking to the clothing designers, many of whom had come from more adult-oriented clothing companies, I found that each brand has it's own set of fitting dummies for their size ranges - because the true "inch" dimensions of a size six are determined more the marketing department than by some objective standard. And ALL of them are 'fudging' on the larger end of the range, as DHMan describes above. A size zero now is what a size two used to be, and a size six now is what a size eight used to be.


It's all so that women will buy their clothes. You feel a lot better about their product when you see yourself in a smaller size than if you saw the real size you need.


I've seen this effect for men's wear a bit, too, although not to the same degree. I take a 29-30" waist bluejean, depending upon the brand, but when I get into a suit (which, being tailored, is more accurately sized), I wear a 30-31" waist. Same reasons. Same vanity.
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #24  October 22,2008, 9:20am
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zeb431,303636 wrote :

what is true but frustrating about what you said, regarding polish, is that most women, are blatantly wanting polish. those men who say they like BBQ, beer and ball are going to get a very limited viewership in a dating forum. if they read war and peace, saw cats twice, and go to art museums, I suspect they will get a better chance at step 2.


kind of sad men have to polish up their profile, simply to get a second look.
Then again, there are a lot of women out there that prefer BBQ, beer and ball :-)
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #25  October 22,2008, 9:22am
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zeb431,303636 wrote :

what is true but frustrating about what you said, regarding polish, is that most women, are blatantly wanting polish. those men who say they like BBQ, beer and ball are going to get a very limited viewership in a dating forum. if they read war and peace, saw cats twice, and go to art museums, I suspect they will get a better chance at step 2.


kind of sad men have to polish up their profile, simply to get a second look.
Ah, but if you dolike to read and like the arts (I fit this mold), you're stuck with:


1) Women who don't, but think they ought to, which are often also the women who, as was posted above by Squire, still feel that they're "technically" fit, even though nobody in their right mind would objectively say so from the outside.


2) The ones who do like to read and like the arts - are polished themselves - tend to add "Rich" to the list as well. Surprising how much I've seen this. Most of them will deny it, although you'll start to see the words "generous" and "financially stable" creep into their descriptions of the men for which they're looking. Nobody wants a mooching bum, so once you start saying it with high-Scrabble-point words, it's clear what you really mean. I've started using my truck to weed out the women who are like that, instead of driving the 914 on dates. I've actually had a couple pull a face when they saw what I was driving - even though they'd gushed at how well I matched what they wanted when in OC.


It's an ever-advancing scale. People always try and 'trade up'. If you're a 'common joe', they want polish. If you've got polish, they want polish and money. If you've got polish and money, they want polish, money, and... Well, I don't know what's next, since as a small business owner, I'm still struggling with the polish and money thing in this economy.


No doubt we'll get a chorus of "no, we're not that way" from the ladies here, but with rare exception (that I genuinely love to find), women in my age group (mid-forties) suit this mold to a tee.
 
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Squire is offline Squire Post #26  October 22,2008, 10:51am
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Glider_Pilot,303716 wrote :


zeb431,303636 wrote :


what is true but frustrating about what you said, regarding polish, is that most women, are blatantly wanting polish. those men who say they like BBQ, beer and ball are going to get a very limited viewership in a dating forum. if they read war and peace, saw cats twice, and go to art museums, I suspect they will get a better chance at step 2.


kind of sad men have to polish up their profile, simply to get a second look.


Ah, but if you do like to read and like the arts (I fit this mold), you're stuck with:


1) Women who don't, but think they ought to, which are often also the women who, as was posted above by Squire, still feel that they're "technically" fit, even though nobody in their right mind would objectively say so from the outside.





+1 This could be a thread in itself: Attributes/activities people include in their profile that they don't actually practice , but have been "meaning to".


A common "tell" of this practice is anyone whose profile states "I'm working on" or "I'm in the process of" before naming said activity/attribute. What it means is, "I haven't done it".


Perhaps people are just so optimistic at registration that they feel, by the time they meet someone in person, they will have finished that nagging PhD, or finished reading that book, or traveled the world, or lost the last 30 lbs.?


I wouldn't bet on it, but "I'm working on" giving people's profiles the benefit of the doubt.
 
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rg26 is offline rg26 Post #27  October 22,2008, 11:18am
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Squire,303837 wrote :

Glider_Pilot,303716 wrote :


zeb431,303636 wrote :


what is true but frustrating about what you said, regarding polish, is that most women, are blatantly wanting polish. those men who say they like BBQ, beer and ball are going to get a very limited viewership in a dating forum. if they read war and peace, saw cats twice, and go to art museums, I suspect they will get a better chance at step 2.


kind of sad men have to polish up their profile, simply to get a second look.


Ah, but if you do like to read and like the arts (I fit this mold), you're stuck with:


1) Women who don't, but think they ought to, which are often also the women who, as was posted above by Squire, still feel that they're "technically" fit, even though nobody in their right mind would objectively say so from the outside.





+1 This could be a thread in itself: Attributes/activities people include in their profile that they don't actually practice , but have been "meaning to".


A common "tell" of this practice is anyone whose profile states "I'm working on" or "I'm in the process of" before naming said activity/attribute. What it means is, "I haven't done it".


Perhaps people are just so optimistic at registration that they feel, by the time they meet someone in person, they will have finished that nagging PhD, or finished reading that book, or traveled the world, or lost the last 30 lbs.?


I wouldn't bet on it, but "I'm working on" giving people's profiles the benefit of the doubt.
I'm so much cooler online
 
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PY is offline PY Post #28  October 22,2008, 11:35am

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I won't classify myself as a physically fit person (yes, got a tad of belly on me- I ain't got LL Cool J's eight pack), by my doc's definition, I'm about 25 lbs overweight although friends say I distribute my weight well for my height (currently 180 lbs 5'8").


I don't get involved in sports, although I am always up for a walk (and have done so, with and without friends). I used to be more active until I injured my back on a pretty aggresive incline hike a couple years ago. Can't bench press my own weight like I used to, but I can still lift stuff if needed be. I don't do my six minute mile like I used to, but I still can walk a few miles (even with my plantar fasciitis), so in a way I am still a somewhat active and fit person- just not hardcore like many people are. You won't see me doing thriathlon anytime soon.


Maybe a better term would be I am not ATHLETICLY fit...
 
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rg26 is offline rg26 Post #29  October 22,2008, 6:02pm
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NerdyHobbit,303331 wrote :

The same thing that qualifies it in the woman's mind. Ab's, toned legs and arms, and can run an 5 minute mile.
Dude even the Keyans rarely run races at that pace.
 
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Lindac7 is offline Lindac7 Post #30  October 22,2008, 7:20pm
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To be brutally honest, I don't think a man with a 'belly' falls within the category of physically fit, regardless of his actual physical abilities, BP and/or cholesterol numbers, etc.


If someone is to describe themself as physically fit when they are clearly advertising themselves for a significant other, the most important thing to remember is whether they LOOK physically fit or not.


In addition, not having any major health issues does NOT mean that someone is healthy . . . it simply means they have not been diagnosed with whatever illnesses are slowly coming to a head in their bodies. For example, would you consider someone to be healthy one day, when the next day they are diagnosed with diabetes (or any other 'official illness')? I think not.


In my mind, even having high blood pressure is an indication that this person is not 'healthy'. Clearly something is wrong. Of course, everyone's idea and definition of 'healthy' and/or 'fit' are different.


Bottom line, rather than using the term 'physically fit' at all, why not describe exactly what you look like and maybe even add whatever physical ailments you're currently working with? After all, once you meet someone and establish a relationship with them, they'll find out eventually. It's pointless to try and hide this stuff . . . it's far better to be honest up front, ESPECIALLY in your profile, where you are being judged more harshly than when in a job interview. True honesty comes through in a profile when a person makes the effort to beTRULY honest about themselves.


I've dated online enough to have learned after many in-person meetings that most men with a 'belly' think they are 'physically fit', and expect a woman to have somewhere around no more than 5% body fat to be considered 'good enough' for them. I realize this may sound bitter to some, but really, it's simply the God's honest truth.
 
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