MichelleB is offline MichelleB Post #31  October 16,2008, 5:16pm
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cindy_lou_who, wrote :

So there's a guy I met on another dating site - emailed back and forth easily at first, then it tapered off to once a week or 10 days.* He kept saying "looking forward to meeting you" and I responded likewise.** Didn't want to be the one taking the lead, so I kept waiting for him actually to invite me out to coffee.** It didn't happen.** So I'm cleaning out my inbox and run across his last email (yes, I've forgotten about him in the meantime) and decide to bite the pride and send him a "hey, I'm no good at this emailing thing, did you want to meet for coffee" to which he says sure, how's Thursday?


*


And then, before I even have a chance to respond, he calls my office.


*


Now, I did not give him my number yet.** He knows what I do and where I work because with just my first name and location, I'm very google-able.* I'm not offended that he googled me; in fact, I expect that.** BUT - I'm a bit put-off that he called my office.** Luckily, my receptionist ran interference (she knows I don't get personal calls at work; if I wanted a personal call from someone, s/he would have my cell phone #!).**


*


I would personally never presume I could call a guy at work when he hadn't given me his number and express permission to do so.** So why would a guy think he could call a gal at work????**** It doesn't scream stalker to me simply because he really hasn't been pursuing me - but it does indicate a clear lack of social boundaries, and is (obviously) annoying me.


*


Or am I overreacting?
sounds a bit stalkerish..i cant believe that you can find anything out on google these days. ugh!
 
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cindy_lou_who is offline cindy_lou_who Post #32  October 16,2008, 6:55pm
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wittykitty,296120 wrote :

you don't let you employees take personal calls? that sounds a very harsh policy to me... The poor guy. He still has no idea what he is getting into :-)
Kitty, I don't pay you to:


call your husband 3 x to co-ordinate what he wants for dinner and who's going to pick it up


call your babysitter 2 x to see if she can stay late because your husband called you 2 x to say he's working late and can you pick up dinner instead


call your husband's and son's doctors to schedule appointments


call your husband and babysitter each one more time to tell them about the appointments


recieve 3 calls from your son's school about pta, soccer, and his behaviour


receive 2 calls from your daughter in law because she wants to ask for money


make another call about your own dental appointment


receive another call from your babysitter because your kid is throwing a tantrum because you said he can have coke and she won't give him a 5th one


receive another call from your mother in law about when's a good time to visit . . .





The work phone is for business pertaining to stellar customer service, making money, and forging community connections.





All the rest you can do via text or email when it won't interfere with these 3 things, and when I don't have to pay you for it.





Now get off the phone and get back to work!
 
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RRoland is offline RRoland Post #33  October 16,2008, 8:35pm
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I would totally freak out if someone called me at work! That's totally inappropriate.
 
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gr8galmv is offline gr8galmv Post #34  October 16,2008, 8:47pm
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I would be completely freaked out if a guy called me at any number that hadn't been provided to me. I went out with a guy twice. A few days later a package arrived on my desk with a gift inside. I had never given him my work address and it freaked me out that he took the time to research the address of my company (we have several locations) and figure out the office I was in and then mail me a rather, what I deemed, expensive gift. While thoughtful, I wasn't feeling the chemistry with him and this threw things over the top. I returned his gift and e-mailed him explaining why I was.


I think as a female I worry about my safety. And an incident like this where this man did enough research to get her work number and use it is a sensitive matter. While his intentions most likely were innocent, his social skills suffered.
 
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mtw is offline mtw Post #35  October 16,2008, 8:54pm
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japaneseblueeyes,294586 wrote :

Yellow flag, not reg flag in my book, proceed with caution.
Calling without being given the number, even though he found it out, seems forward but he may work at a place where personal calls are no big deal. At the company I work for, we all make and take personal calls. We're all adults, we know what we need to accomplish, we handle our own work, and we recognize that all of us have those times when we have personal matters to deal with.
 
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talonfinite is offline talonfinite Post #36  October 16,2008, 8:56pm
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Work is definately off limits unless you're both comfortable with it and discuss it beforehand. Did he by chance use his work email; maybe he figured it was okay.
 
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treatmesweetly is offline treatmesweetly Post #37  October 16,2008, 11:43pm
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cindy_lou_who, wrote :

And then, before I even have a chance to respond, he calls my office.


Now, I did not give him my number yet. He knows what I do and where I work because with just my first name and location, I'm very google-able... I'm a bit put-off that he called my office... if I wanted a personal call from someone, s/he would have my cell phone #!).


I would personally never presume I could call a guy at work when he hadn't given me his number and express permission to do so. So why would a guy think he could call a gal at work???? It does indicate a clear lack of social boundaries, and is (obviously) annoying me.


Am I over-reacting?
No, I don't think you're over-reacting. I have an intense and important job, and it sounds like you do too. I do not take social calls at work.Although my friends or family have my work number,they would only call me if it's urgent, not to chat.


It may be that he does not have an intense/important job and assumes yours isn't either. It may be that he has never dated a woman with an intense/important job and doesn't realize that it's inappropriate to call you at work.


If you like the guy or you're not sure, explain the rules to him. If you don't see anything happening between you, close him. Good luck!
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope — Advice Member-Moderator Post #38  October 16,2008, 11:50pm
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cindy_lou_who, wrote :


And then, before I even have a chance to respond, he calls my office.


Now, I did not give him my number yet. He knows what I do and where I work because with just my first name and location, I'm very google-able. I'm not offended that he googled me; in fact, I expect that. BUT - I'm a bit put-off that he called my office. Luckily, my receptionist ran interference (she knows I don't get personal calls at work; if I wanted a personal call from someone, s/he would have my cell phone #!).


I would personally never presume I could call a guy at work when he hadn't given me his number and express permission to do so. So why would a guy think he could call a gal at work???? It doesn't scream stalker to me simply because he really hasn't been pursuing me - but it does indicate a clear lack of social boundaries, and is (obviously) annoying me.


Or am I overreacting?


No, you're not overreacting -- in my opinion. I have almost the identical situation google-wise, and I received flowers at my office (after 1 date) although I didn't not give him my office address or number.


It turned out he was a stalker. Be careful with that situation!
 
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JasonX43 is offline JasonX43 Post #39  October 17,2008, 1:10am
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cindy_lou_who, wrote :

So there's a guy I met on another dating site - emailed back and forth easily at first, then it tapered off to once a week or 10 days. He kept saying "looking forward to meeting you" and I responded likewise. Didn't want to be the one taking the lead, so I kept waiting for him actually to invite me out to coffee. It didn't happen. So I'm cleaning out my inbox and run across his last email (yes, I've forgotten about him in the meantime) and decide to bite the pride and send him a "hey, I'm no good at this emailing thing, did you want to meet for coffee" to which he says sure, how's Thursday?





And then, before I even have a chance to respond, he calls my office.





Now, I did not give him my number yet. He knows what I do and where I work because with just my first name and location, I'm very google-able. I'm not offended that he googled me; in fact, I expect that. BUT - I'm a bit put-off that he called my office. Luckily, my receptionist ran interference (she knows I don't get personal calls at work; if I wanted a personal call from someone, s/he would have my cell phone #!).





I would personally never presume I could call a guy at work when he hadn't given me his number and express permission to do so. So why would a guy think he could call a gal at work???? It doesn't scream stalker to me simply because he really hasn't been pursuing me - but it does indicate a clear lack of social boundaries, and is (obviously) annoying me.





Or am I overreacting?
I'm sorry but I've seen way too many suspense thrillers started with someone having access to way too much ungiven information! File the restraining order now, please!
 
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abud4spud is offline abud4spud Post #40  October 17,2008, 4:10am
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to me it was impolite at the least. i never call a women unless she gives me her number. calling someone at work like that is a no no. unless agreed to from the start. it would bother me if i was a women. i know women like men to be aggressive but that was going over board....
 
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