The Top 5 Male Turnoffs

The Top 5 Male Turnoffs

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The Top 5 Male Turnoffs


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schippyeyes is offline schippyeyes Post #31  December 19,2007, 8:39am
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Chivalry is a wonderful thing, but it works two ways. I would never expect the man with whom I am involved to pay for everything, take care of everything, be the constant persuer ... both parties should participate as equally as possible. I know that I receive great joy in doing things for the man I am seeing right from the beginning. If I suggested the first date meeting, then I should be the one to pay. If he suggested a movie or an event afterwards, then he should pay. Any relationship -- new or old -- needs to be fair in order to work, in my opinion.
 
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friendlygal is offline friendlygal Post #32  December 19,2007, 8:47am
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you should never expect a man to pay for everything because if you seriously want him to be in a relationship with you then it needs to start at the beginning at least you need to offer a little help. no one wants to pay for everything.

as for the rest of the comments, no one would like someone who's not reliable, and overdemanding.
 
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madison is offline madison Post #33  December 19,2007, 6:17pm
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In my experience I find that most men wont let me pay for the first date
even if I am the one that initiated the date. On the second or third date they may let me pay or split the tab.
 
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nicolerenee is offline nicolerenee Post #34  December 20,2007, 2:43am
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I think that if you want a guy who will pursue you hard and pay for the dates (which, in my opinion, is the honorable thing to do barring any obvious lack of $ situations), then you should hold out for that! There are great guys out there who are chivalrous (did I spell that right?) My boyfriend would love to help me clean if it means he'd be with me. Now that's the kind of guy we want, ladies! And let me tell you, they're out there. And they're NOT all married already . . . It will be better than you imagined . . . And I think that paying absolutely IS part of the pursuing. It's telling a woman that she is worth spending money on, that she's worth what it will cost you financially (within reason, of course) to pay for going out with her. It makes a woman feel cherished, prescious, and of great worth. Even if you don't think you'll continue to date her it's respectful to treat her with respect. Once you're in a serious relationship, the girl should insist on paying for some stuff. Very few men have an income that is bottomless . . .
 
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eljay65 is offline eljay65 Post #35  December 20,2007, 2:48am
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I personally think that the man should pay for the first couple of dates. Like the one reader said we (meaning women) will step to the plate like paying for parking or getting the popcorn and soda's at the movies or leaving the tip etc. I personally do not respond well to ultimatiums. Just left a relationship over one. My number one pet peeve is guys who don't like kids but get involved with a woman who has them.
 
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Stasi is offline Stasi Post #36  December 20,2007, 2:52am
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I stumbled back here from a newsletter email with an article I wanted to read I have been dating the same man for the last year, and he STILL pays every time we go out and opens doors for me. He finally got me trained to wait for the door...and women look at me with envy all the time when they see it. Such a little thing, with such a big ego boost. And I rarely go get him when we go out, he comes for me.
Mind you, I check to see whether he wants to pay on the burger level, the steakhouse level, or the filet mignon level before I answer where I'd like to go for dinner. And I slide cash into his wallet on occasion. And pay for the movie tickets while he's still parking, and the season's subscriptions to show tickets. There's other ways to share the burdens, you have to work out the balance, and you have to be able to communicate - without ultimatums.
 
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rmlady is offline rmlady Post #37  December 20,2007, 3:50am
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I think the advice is right on. In the past I haven't had much money to treat on a date but i do think it's only fair. Something that takes planing when you get paid and you are dating some one. Maybe we gals should have a stash just for that.. Thanks for the tips I am going to remember them when i am ready to date again.
 
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Ducksoop is offline Ducksoop Post #38  December 20,2007, 3:51am
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To Beloved0000, Just a suggestion...what you have to say is interesting but it is really hard to decipher your posts because of the way you use numbers instead of letters. It makes you look uneducated, yet I can tell that's not so by the rest of your post (once I pick thru all the 4s and 2s and U's etc). Do you feel like you have to do that to make your message more interesting?
 
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viola72 is offline viola72 Post #39  December 20,2007, 4:15am
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I do expect a man to pay for dinner/date for at least until we're officially in a relationship. I make a very good income and am self-sufficient but I also know that I make far less than my male peers. So the previous poster who said women want it both ways is laughable in his perspective. So it has nothing to do with who makes more money (and one normally doesn't even know what the earning difference is). It's not about money, it's about the process of finding your mate. I agree entirely with the poster who says your dating style should match the future you expect. Since I hope to have kids and raise a family, I think a few dinners and drinks on "him" in return for the prospect of my eventual role as a mother and wife is a small investment. That said, I've never been 'allowed' to pay my share of a date. I always offer to leave the tip but that never is accepted either. I will insist on buying a drink though, be it at a bar, bottle of water at concession or a cup of coffee over the course of the date and that is usually very, very well received and appreciated.

Bottom line is a guy who expects me to pay for my dinner is not going to get my interest. It's not about the money, it's because I do want to be treated like someone he treasures and wants to spend time with and there's not many ways to show that early on. If a guy takes my cash for dinner, I feel like I'm mitigating his loss for the evening and I figure it's a no-go.

As for the article, flakiness is committed by men chronically as well and often in lieu of "I'm just not interested in you." I know most women have dealt with that - men who'd rather chew their foot off than say "I don't want to go out with you again" but rather make false promises. As if women are going to fall apart in a suicidal mess when we don't get asked out on Date #2. Guys need to give women more credit than that and take themselves a bit less seriously.
 
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Summer7027 is offline Summer7027 Post #40  December 20,2007, 4:19am
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My turnoff is sending out questions to prospective matches and NEVER -- and I mean it -- NEVER getting a response either positive or negative. I have closed matches that were open for as long as 6 months without a reply.
As for this list, yes, it can go both ways. I have a casual church friend and we go out for coffee about once a month. He's retired and I'm still working. I do not expect him to pay for me and if he insists, then I insist on doing it the next time around. It's only fair!
 
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