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Bedeet Bedeet is offline
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when there is a strong physical attraction those traits are overlooked for awhile and even cute for some
1 - if you are too available it's noticeable
2 - many men marry foreign women just so they don't have to talk much, and the may - december scenario is another example of less communications and things in common working out for the man
3 - a woman being a witch is a bigger conquer for a man
4 - many of my male friends are with the woman that changed them for the better!!! I hear it, i always did this until she came along and cared. (ie. i eat better, excercise etc..)
5 - i have seen them work more often than not

devils' advocate

- December 11th, 2007, 05:07 pm
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ifyouonlyknew ifyouonlyknew is offline
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To Beloved0000... girlfriend, dispense with the crazy spelling with numbers, the 4's and the 2's and the u's and whatnot. It's impossible to read what you've written and it's obvious that you are very literate and intelligent. Typing that way "dumbs you down" and you're too smart for that. It also sounds like you're a smart dater, too. No need to play games and, if the guy is the right guy, you sould never have to deliver and ultimatum, either. If you feel like you need to throw one out there, save your breath and move on... that guy isn't worth his salt if we need to deal with him via coercion. And, yes, guys need to be chivalrous and treat a woman for a while, but I do think that a ways into dating, we need to start offering treats, too. And we generally do, in forms of cooking him a romantic dinner, etc. For a little while, yes, he absolutely does need to "come to your side of town, pick you up, open your door, pay the check, drop you off" and if he really digs you, he WILL call the next day or the one after that. There's no sure way to know if a guy is really interested if we don't allow them to woo us a LITTLE bit, for a LITTLE while, but after that, I agree with the author --- show some appreciation and give back. A little appreciation goes a LONG way.
- December 11th, 2007, 07:59 pm
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ifyouonlyknew ifyouonlyknew is offline
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And PS... you're not doomed! You just haven't met the right guy yet --- he's out there! Keep the faith!
- December 11th, 2007, 08:02 pm
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lookingup lookingup is offline
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ann, I am hoping this reply will win my dream date and I a trip to Ireland. So here goes - All five of these turn offs remind me of my former marriage. I totally agree, men and women have to be who they are, getting the right match is the key to a happy relationship, hence eharmoney.com!
- December 11th, 2007, 10:55 pm
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peterotoole peterotoole is offline
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This is a post in reply to BELOVED0000. It's no wonder youve been single for so long. You don't seem to understand that things have changed (for the better) since you were in high school. Used to be that men paid for everything because they had most of the money. And because it was the so-called "chivalrous" thing to do, mostly because they also had most of the power.

It's not that way any more. Woman have a lot more power than they used to, and a lot more money too. And it's getting better evey day.

But, it seems to me, that although you are willing to take advantage of all the gains that women have made in the last fifty or a hundred years,
you're not willing to play fair and take your share of the responsibility
too.

I know you must be no stranger to resposibilty since you have been a (presumably) working single mother for 17 years. It takes a lot of guts and grit to do that. And I'm sure your kids respect you (they better!).
And IF they do, it's because you treat them fairly. And I'm sure you demand the same of them. So, why not try it with the guys you go out with?
Unless, by chance, you've got a secret grudge? Maybe you blame all men because your marriage didn't work out? Or something else? (I can think of a few things).

Your decision not to be a homewrecker is laudable. A lot of women would have taken just that easy way out of lonliness. But, maybe you've got to find some new kind of guy to go out with. One who will look you right back in the eye as you so obviously do to them and say: "Beloved, It's your turn to pay tonight". I bet, if you do, you'll respect him more than the married jerks who ask you out now. And if you do start to pay your fair share, he'll respect you more. And that being the case, you'll respect yourself a bit more
- December 12th, 2007, 06:13 am
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mom2landon23 mom2landon23 is offline
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Great article!
- December 12th, 2007, 06:51 am
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Reply to Peterotoole,..I really have to ask if in your experience you have found that women are willing to (pay, call, pick you up etc, etc). And if you truly 'respect' and still admire(want) them. I am only 35 and have not been out of the dating field for that long and I have to say that one of the fellows that I did date was a believer in going 'dutch'. And I was okay with that for the most part in the beginning (he was a student and I was working) but I have to say that it got old very quickly. It would have been very nice to have been 'treated' once in a while. I think that this was at least one of the major reasons why in the end we became only friends as opposed to more...
- December 12th, 2007, 02:12 pm
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mdgesq mdgesq is offline
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I am a family law attorney and the biggest turn off for me is when I go out on a date with someone new and as soon as she finds out what I do for a living she insists on spending the entire evening talking about their divorce. Hey ladies--I do this for a living and I get paid for it, its not something I do for fun. I can think of many things I would rather talk about on our first date than your divorce. And if you really want to talk about your divorce, give me a call and set up an appointment--I charge $100 for a consultation.
- December 12th, 2007, 05:10 pm
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polkadots polkadots is offline
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Personally, I didn't find this article all that enlightening...kinda just common sense.
- December 12th, 2007, 08:00 pm
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funnyguy funnyguy is offline
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Well as a man I am from the old school, I expect to pay for all the dates, and to open the door for my lady. What turns me off is women who do play games, and for example they are not really interested in you, but they think they are doing you some kind of favor. Wrong, they are waisting my time, as I am a passionate man and would do anything for my woman, but expect her to do the same. None of this lukewarm bs, either be hot or cold. Say what you mean and mean what you say be a person of your word and person of charicter. This goes for both men and women. Good Luck
- December 12th, 2007, 08:22 pm
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