Should You Date a Former Cheater?

Should You Date a Former Cheater?

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Should You Date a Former Cheater?


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soawesome is offline soawesome Post #211  July 6,2009, 11:57am
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ended a 1 1/2 yr relationship and is sad but dating!

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vrcarrington wrote :
Once when I was a teenager I shoplifted. Got caught. I've NEVER done it again. Once a shoplifter always a shoplifter? I don't think so. Would I steal food if my kids were starving and I had no money? Maybe. But I am not a thief. When I was a young adult I got drunk - many times. Did I get caught or in serious trouble? No. But I did get sick. Now I don't drink at all. Once a drunk, always a drunk? I don't think so.

Personal experience though, makes me frightened of those who see things so black and white (once a cheater, always a cheater).

People do change, learn and grow.

However you're in charge of only one person. YOU. Be moral, honest and trustworthy. .
More power to ya sister! I agree wholeheartedly. I find it sad how many people are so ready to throw the baby out with the bath water! Pretty much of life is grey, but especially where divorce is concerned. I'm 43 and prefer to date men my age and older. Hello! Most of them are divorced - sometimes a couple of times over. Assumptions make an a$$ of you and me. People really need to chill out.....
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #212  July 6,2009, 4:03pm
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Mokkesofie wrote :
When a man divorces his wife and marries his mistress, he leaves a vacancy.
The same principle enunciated above applies to FEMALES also.


I am 100% sure you inadvertantly forgot that.
 
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midnightcorridor is offline midnightcorridor Post #213  July 6,2009, 4:27pm
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I think the key word here is date. Yes, I would date a former cheater, but dating someone does not imply that I will remain committed to them if, during the course of my dating, I find out that the person is cheating again. This would give me some time to judge whether or not the person has truly changed.
 
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misswright is offline misswright Post #214  November 30,2009, 9:56pm

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should you date a form cheater? now the key word is date nothing more. this to each own judgement but i say they deserve another try in some cases.
 
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winn is offline winn Post #215  December 1,2009, 3:36am

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I dated a former cheater a few times but realized pretty quickly that, as much as I would agree he deserved a second chance,if I were to marry him, I would be watching him like a hawk twenty-four/seven. After having been married to a man I could trust implicitly, there's no way I would live with distrust in a marriage. Way too tiring, if you ask me. Besides, i found that he didn't even trust himself. He couldn't even kiss me without looking over his shoulder, as if he was doing something wrong.
Last edited by winn; December 1,2009 at 3:39am.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #216  December 1,2009, 4:41am
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It would maybe depend on their answer to the question on why they cheated.

If they blame anything outside themselves, I wouldn't. If they blamed themselves and seemed baggage-y about it I wouldn't. You know, I think overall I would avoid someone that has cheated other than a casual friendship. The real problem is finding out if they have cheated. People generally aren't too open about something like that.
 
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matured is offline matured Post #217  March 13,2010, 9:00pm
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would I date a former cheater If I was looking for a mate and expect dedication and loyalty from them? Yes.
1-I'm old enough to have changed my opinion about a distant relative.
2-I admit it myself. After seeing the pain I caused her I dedicated the rest of my life to serve her above me. I can never forgive myself. She forgave me and remained loyal too. I love her enough that If she was going to die, I'd be there even if I had to die too just to keep her company. I know she loves me more than that. I believe I've learned different responsibilities along the way helping others in need...I'll feel a hollow spot in my heart for the rest of my life for the hurt I caused my angel.
 
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cats1 is offline cats1 Post #218  March 16,2010, 9:20pm
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I would not date someone who cheated in a marriage. If they cheated while in a relationship but were not married then there is a slim chance I might consider it on a case by case basis. I would rather be single for the rest of my life (and have test tube babies) than be in a relationship with someone where I think he might do to me as he did to others- I am sure I am not that much more special than the other women that he would "change for me".
 
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