Cheating is unforgivible. But at the sametime because people cheat 4 different reasons, It's hard to say whether or not a relationship like that can continue. Being a cheater is hard to admit, especially if it's (I)being blamed on current relationship. I have chose that route before, under my circumstance I had no excuse, 4 I can't preach against sin's I agreed in the pastto commit. But it hurts so much when you find someone you truly want to be with (& have not cheated on her), and because of my past, she is not trusting of me. Tuch'e. It really comes back on you, hard. Even though I was true in this relationship, I struggle just to keep in touch w/this special someone. I tire of the emptiness of shortlived relationships, and honestly wanted to invest alot in this one. But unfortunately, it is apparent it's not in the cards, and I have crapped out. I miss you babe, sorry. Aaron(aandftrances)

Well to disagree with who is at fault...it is not always the fault of the one who cheats. when one spouse withholds sex,,affection and finanical support,,but threatens to take the children and half the net worth can anyone not find sympathy from someone else

I agree that it is a question of integrity, and that would be the final word for me personally. However, I do not think a person who has cheated will neccessarily always cheat.

I married a man who was divorced for 10 years.When he asked me to marry him,he asked me why I thought he was still single?My reply was that I thought he just wanted to be single.Wrong answer.He said it was because he had not found the right kind of woman and that I was the type of woman he was looking for.We married. Many years later,he cheated.During those years,because of his previous marriage,he was always looking for me to cheat on him.I never have,but he did.I do not feel it is because of something I did or did not do,I think it has alot to do with his childhood meaning the relationship he saw his mother and father have,by the way from what I hear from knowing some of their friends,not a very trusting marriage.Then his first wife had some of the same problems with him as I have.She is not like me,so ending the first marriage was quick as she was not going to be punished. After being married to this man for many years I myself am sick of the drama and any excuse that might be given to me for cheating as I feel I have been faithful all this time and even at a late date I feel his feelings ,emotions will never change and I am now after wasting so much of my life with someone who is going to cheat no matter what I do,I am ready to call it quits. It is much deeper than what anyone seems to be able to do anything about.I feel it has to do with a persons behavior learned in early childhood.And by the way,I have bent over backwards to be a trustworthy person. Nothing works and I am sick of trying. Leave the cheater to his or her cheating ways and find someone who will not waste your precious time.Find someone like yourself who is not a cheater and be happy.I'm going to.I would rather be divorced and happy than unhappy with a person who is just a sad soul that refuses to get help and want to cheat on me to punish me for something someone else did in their past. I want a soulmate,not a heartache.By the way,finish one relationship before you get into another one,there is never an excuse to cheat.Be honest with the person you are with and if you can't hang or just don't want them anymore for whatever reason,be a real man or woman,get brave and let that person go instead of being a liar and a cheat.Give the other person some honestly instead of lies and grief. Tell them you want to end it-then go get somebody else if that's what you want.The problem I see is that the person that cheats wants to know that his or her other life is set up and waiting before they dump the one they are cheating on.Little do they know the problem is within themselves and they take the problem with them when they go.

No disrespect to the poster..I don't know your situation. But - this is why our society is spiralling out of control in more ways than one.


Sympathy - I was unable to find any reference whatsoever that links the act of adultery with usage of this word.


So my spouse treats me like a stray dog....fails to engage in a reciprocal relationship, fails to provide.....whatever. My response should be to stand up to said spouse...tell said spouse to hit the road....tell said spouses attorney to grow up and get a life....and respectfully beat said spouse senseless with evidence and factsin front of a judge when they pull the divorce abuse


And along with all the things I do above - I do not become a poster child for the victim society. I do not commit adultery. I do not rationalize that my behavior is justified. I do not live in fantasy world with my equally immoral paramour


This is a great line < However, if you'd like to marry one and get him off the market, you go right ahead. The rest of us thank you. > but I actuallyhope we don't marry off mr and ms cheater ..... yet another marriage to fail, even more lives to be destroyed, finances ruined, heck let's add another foreclosure to the books. And you get to watch mr and ms cheater funda couple more divorce lawyer's vacation homes and yacht club dues.

The question:Should You date a former cheater? Answer:--------NO. As someone I once knew told me and they were right. The saying goes- If he or she cheats on wife or husband to be with you,he or she will cheat on you to be with someone else too. If he or she cheats,he or she lies,if he or she lies,he or she will steal. Seems to be true. Cheaters live in a fantasy world always.Not reality. They don't want to commit to anything too long. Selfish.