Should You Date a Former Cheater?

Should You Date a Former Cheater?

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Should You Date a Former Cheater?


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RRoland is offline RRoland Post #11  October 5,2008, 1:38pm
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abnoba,283622 wrote :

I think both the cheater and divorcee is capable of learning from their past mistakes. I know that RRoland is right: the chances of a second marriage succeeding are big time low.
Statistically the probability of learning is low.
 
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abnoba is offline abnoba Post #12  October 5,2008, 2:05pm

I just found out my gramma died. I feel so very sad. I will miss her a lot.

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Ciao_eh,283626 wrote :

what does divorce have to do with cheating? What does the duration of the marriage have to do with cheating? I am confused as to what the linkage is here...
The way I see it there is no difference at all between a divorcee and a cheater. They both screwed up and both can change and both should be forgiven and given another chance.
 
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abnoba is offline abnoba Post #13  October 5,2008, 2:10pm

I just found out my gramma died. I feel so very sad. I will miss her a lot.

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RRoland,283639 wrote :

abnoba,283622 wrote :


I think both the cheater and divorcee is capable of learning from their past mistakes. I know that RRoland is right: the chances of a second marriage succeeding are big time low.


Statistically the probability of learning is low.
So is the chance of staying married, but most of us give it a try anyway.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #14  October 5,2008, 2:39pm
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abnoba,283667 wrote :

Ciao_eh,283626 wrote :


what does divorce have to do with cheating? What does the duration of the marriage have to do with cheating? I am confused as to what the linkage is here...


The way I see it there is no difference at all between a divorcee and a cheater. They both screwed up and both can change and both should be forgiven and given another chance.
Not all divorced persons are the cause of their divorce. They do not all require forgiveness.
 
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abnoba is offline abnoba Post #15  October 5,2008, 3:02pm

I just found out my gramma died. I feel so very sad. I will miss her a lot.

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noseyparker,283707 wrote :

abnoba,283667 wrote :


Ciao_eh,283626 wrote :


what does divorce have to do with cheating? What does the duration of the marriage have to do with cheating? I am confused as to what the linkage is here...


The way I see it there is no difference at all between a divorcee and a cheater. They both screwed up and both can change and both should be forgiven and given another chance.


Not all divorced persons are the cause of their divorce. They do not all require forgiveness.
Not all cheaters are the cause of their cheating, either. The conditions, causes, etc. that lead to either cheating or divorce are specific to that relationship and have no bearing, in my estimation, on the next relationship.
 
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HarleyGrrl is offline HarleyGrrl Post #16  October 5,2008, 3:27pm
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abnoba,283723 wrote :

noseyparker,283707 wrote :


abnoba,283667 wrote :


Ciao_eh,283626 wrote :


what does divorce have to do with cheating? What does the duration of the marriage have to do with cheating? I am confused as to what the linkage is here...


The way I see it there is no difference at all between a divorcee and a cheater. They both screwed up and both can change and both should be forgiven and given another chance.


Not all divorced persons are the cause of their divorce. They do not all require forgiveness.


Not all cheaters are the cause of their cheating, either. The conditions, causes, etc. that lead to either cheating or divorce are specific to that relationship and have no bearing, in my estimation, on the next relationship.
Wow...I've heard it all now.





Not all cheaters are the cause of their cheating? OK. So here's where we don't hold someone responsible for their actions. We point the finger at everyone else. Got it.





That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. No one, or nothing MAKES someone cheat. It's a choice. A choice they make and have to live with. It's selfish and it's a cowardly act. They hurt others with their CHOICE to cheat...spouse, kids, families, etc.





I was married to a cheater, and I knew before I said "I do" that he cheated on his first wife. But I so wanted to think I'd be different...just like he said I was. Cheaters do tend to lie at times, you see, to get what they want.





He cheated on me once, I forgave him and kept trucking on. The second time he cheated on me, I figured it was my self-respect or my marriage. I chose my self-respect.





It is an insult to anyone who has lived with infidelity, for you to say not all cheaters are the causeof their cheating. A cheater knows the difference between right and wrong, and they choose to do wrong, regardless of who or what they destroy while they cheat.. They are highly lacking in integrity, character, and morals.





However, if you'd like to marry one and get him off the market, you go right ahead. The rest of us thank you.
 
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Not_ur_typical_48yr_old is offline Not_ur_typical_48yr_old Post #17  October 5,2008, 3:40pm
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There was an interesting article in Redbook (this months issue) on why men cheat. One of the top reason's is because their own friend(s) cheat! They figure their friend is a good guy and does it so why not do it too? Deductive reasoning, perhaps.


In general once a cheater always a cheater but there are exceptions to every rule. I have a dear friend who cheated once....prior to her marriage ending. I hold her in high esteem and believe she wouldn't do it again. If a person does it as a habit...then definitely once a cheater always a cheater.
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #18  October 5,2008, 4:17pm
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

They've cheated before -- but will they do it again? Find out what key factors could determine the dating success for this sensitive scenario.
There's no such thing as a "former cheater". It's like an addiction. Some do it to avoid issues in a committed relationship and the excuses range from loneliness to not being understood or they do it for rush of just being on the edge of being caught . . . kind of a "thrill seeker" thing only it hurts other people. Others a driven purely by hormonal impulses they claim they can't control. None of the above hold any kind of water in any well.
 
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Linda is offline Linda Post #19  October 5,2008, 4:25pm

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RRoland,283611 wrote :

I believe that once a divorcee always a divorcee. The stats bear this out. Second marriages have a much lower probability of success than the first. The longer someone was married before getting divorced the more suspect they are in my eyes.
I know what you mean by "the longer someone was married..."


I've dated quite a few men who had long marriages before getting divorced. Most of them had stories about how the last 10+ years they slept in separate bedrooms, they didn't have s* x for XX number of years, and on and on......
 
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PosiTiv65 is offline PosiTiv65 Post #20  October 5,2008, 4:33pm
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istillbelieve,283781 wrote :

Linda,283691 wrote :


RRoland,283611 wrote :


I believe that once a divorcee always a divorcee. The stats bear this out. Second marriages have a much lower probability of success than the first. The longer someone was married before getting divorced the more suspect they are in my eyes.


I know what you mean by "the longer someone was married..."


I've dated quite a few men who had long marriages before getting divorced. Most of them had stories about how the last 10+ years they slept in separate bedrooms, they didn't have s* x for XX number of years, and on and on......


.....and you believed them ???
+1
 
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