Firefightermedic32 is offline Firefightermedic32 Post #41  September 26,2008, 11:12am
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Well guys, I'm not going to quit on line dating myself. I have a simple apporach. I going to be like a bank vault lefted open at night for all to have a chance. Soon as there is a gal brave enough to come in and still my heart, and make it her own,I'll quite online. Till then,I 'm fair game to online dating!!
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #42  September 26,2008, 11:19am
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sheera007,272852 wrote :

glyster,272838 wrote :


I'm going to get into a lot of activities and meet people that way, at least I accomplish something even if I don't get a date.


Exactly! Skiing, hiking, book-clubs,guitar lessons(or any other classes) are much more fun and/or productive ways to spend time than looking for a date.
Amen! I'm not a fan of taking classes - if there's nobody interesting you're stuck with the same people for the next few weeks - but get involved in any of the many, many "activities" clubs out there.


Especially the clubs that are not singles groups. Everyone is just there to have fun on the event, so the odds of actually having fun go 'way up. There's no pressure, so the women aren't on the defensive.Lastly, married people rarely have time for this sort of thing, so even the non-singles groups end up mostly populated by singles.


Some suggestions: MeetUp, OutdoorsClub, etc. Google "Activity club" or "activities" along with the name of your area and you'll come up with dozens of options. If you've got any social skills at all you'll end up with more dates than you know what to do with.
 
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BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #43  September 26,2008, 11:22am
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I would hope that no one's just rolling the dice online and that everyone is as active socially in person as possible.
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #44  September 26,2008, 11:23am
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Firefightermedic32,272859 wrote :

Well guys, I'm not going to quit on line dating myself. I have a simple apporach. I going to be like a bank vault lefted open at night for all to have a chance. Soon as there is a gal brave enough to come in and still my heart, and make it her own,I'll quite online. Till then,I 'm fair game to online dating!!
Unfortunately, despite your built-in and enviable advantage of being a firefighter and a medic (all the women just swooned... -grin-), most women in this regard are like the good samaritan that not only doesn't go into the open vault to pick up the money, they call 911 and make sure the vault is closed by the appropriate authorities.


Why should she be brave enough to come after you when you're not brave enought to come after her? The passive approach doesn't work with women. Especially the good ones. Like it or not, 21st Century or not, we men still have to take the first step and the first risk in almost all cases. Sitting back and waiting will just get you more sitting.
 
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BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #45  September 26,2008, 11:31am
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Women swooning over that job have clearly never tried to date a guy who did that job. Impossible hours. Ego as large as the trucks they drive.


[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-sealed.gif[/img]You know I'm just giving you a hard time, FFM32.[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
 
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Firefightermedic32 is offline Firefightermedic32 Post #46  September 26,2008, 11:37am
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Glider_Pilot,272869 wrote :

Firefightermedic32,272859 wrote :


Well guys, I'm not going to quit on line dating myself. I have a simple apporach. I going to be like a bank vault lefted open at night for all to have a chance. Soon as there is a gal brave enough to come in and still my heart, and make it her own,I'll quite online. Till then,I 'm fair game to online dating!!


Unfortunately, despite your built-in and enviable advantage of being a firefighter and a medic (all the women just swooned... -grin-), most women in this regard are like the good samaritan that not only doesn't go into the open vault to pick up the money, they call 911 and make sure the vault is closed by the appropriate authorities.


Why should she be brave enough to come after you when you're not brave enought to come after her? The passive approach doesn't work with women. Especially the good ones. Like it or not, 21st Century or not, we men still have to take the first step and the first risk in almost all cases. Sitting back and waiting will just get you more sitting.
Thankyou Glider_Pilot for your open insight. I didn't mean to sound like I would do nothing but seat back and wait. I agree, men need to step up and do there part, which I have been eagerly doing. What I meant to say is, as soon a girl shows mea hint, thatshe's game from my apporach, I will be on it like a pack of hyenas.
 
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glyster is offline glyster Post #47  September 26,2008, 11:42am
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BlueEyedLizzie,272867 wrote :

I would hope that no one's just rolling the dice online and that everyone is as active socially in person as possible.
This may not be true in general. I think one "benefit" of online dating is it's "easy" because you don't have to get out of your house. For me, who's in the 20s and was just building a career and has some friends to hang out with may not necessarily try to or have time to expand social circles. Now that I have accomplished where I want to be in terms of career, I actually can go out and just have fun and try new things and meet new people. Whether one is being active socially has to do with personality and personal priority I guess.
 
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Firefightermedic32 is offline Firefightermedic32 Post #48  September 26,2008, 11:46am
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BlueEyedLizzie,272877 wrote :

Women swooning over that job have clearly never tried to date a guy who did that job. Impossible hours. Ego as large as the trucks they drive.


[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-sealed.gif[/img]You know I'm just giving you a hard time, FFM32.[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]

I can alway count on you Lizze to come through for me LOL. The fact is, I don't try to use my job to pick up girls, quite frankly, it's not working. The only Ego I get out of my job, is the fact that I get to help people, for low pay. I just hope that my compassion to help other, will be attractive enough for girls.


Thanks Lizze for the hard time[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-kiss.gif[/img]
 
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BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #49  September 26,2008, 11:51am
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Anytime! [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-innocent.gif[/img]


And I had another post that's being moderated so let me try to get it on another way. If you're not sure how to meet people I strongly suggest checking out the meetup site. It totally saved my bacon when I moved to Baltimore from Kansas City.
 
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Sarah is offline Sarah Post #50  September 26,2008, 11:54am
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There are a couple of good articles about online dating I would encourage anyone who is investing time and money into it to read. I tried online datinglast yearfor 3 months at the behest of some well meaning friends but found that I didn’t like the culture. It encourages the “kid in the candy store mentality”. It also forces people to make snap judgments and dismiss matches. It is an emotionally detached way to meet people that also makes them more critical than they normally would be. Therefore they are quick to dismiss a match over the least perceived flaw because other matches arewaiting just a click away.

The guy I've been dating for the past several months is probably someone I would have rejected online but I got to know him through a mutual friend and I enjoy what I know. This wouldn't have necessarily come across in cyberspace where people who are multifacted are relegated to a one dimensional profile, words and pictures.

Online dating is a numbers game. For every 90 couples that eharmony likes to brag about that have been matched, there are probably 5 times that many unmatched. Online dating has a high failure to success rate like the lotto. People are chasing the “dream and hope of finding “The one’ out of many out there in cyberspace. I don’t play lottery and I didn’t want to play “lottery with my love life”.


Anyway these articles Dating 2.0 Debunked posted in Posted on December 29, 2007 in Culture & Technology
Another article, The truth about online dating ran in Scientific American Mind on January 30, 2007.


There have been a number of abstracts written by professors in communication who study the phenomenon of online dating and have found the flaws in the practice as it currently stands.
 
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