To post a picture or not.? Why people don't?


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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #1  September 17,2008, 9:10pm
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I joined eH again due to a special promotion...I'm wondering if that was a smart decision or not and I have a few of my pictures posted with my profile. I am getting lots of matches without any pictures and they are active members. A few of them are interested in me, and in the past I always closed them. On my settingsthey cannot see my pic until they have theirs up too. What do you think the reasoning is behind them choosing not to post a picture? My automatic assumption is that they are not well...uhhh...physically becoming. I'd like to hear what your thoughts are on this. Or do you think they don't want to be recognized, or they truly want the 29 dimensions to work without taking physical appearance into consideration? I just read a pictureless profile and requested a photo (I didn't even know eH had that capability). I thought you had to ask in OC. Anyway, tell me what you all think about why people may not post a pic.

I don't post a pic here (eH advice board) cuz I don't want to be identified, yet. )
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #2  September 17,2008, 9:39pm
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is still out there

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sometimes the mysterious avatar adds to the allure of some people here....
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #3  September 19,2008, 12:50am
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You hit the nail on the head my5. They are simply not what society would consider to be attractive. Otherwise, what reason is there to hide your photo?
 
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Alena is offline Alena Post #4  September 19,2008, 4:00am
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my5cents, wrote :


I don't post a pic here (eH advice board) cuz I don't want to be identified, yet. )
maybe they don't want to be identified.


yet.
 
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Alena is offline Alena Post #5  September 19,2008, 4:11am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy,263905 wrote :

You hit the nail on the head my5. They are simply not what society would consider to be attractive. Otherwise, what reason is there to hide your photo?
oh pulease. he may have hit a nail on the head. but you slammed your thumb with the hammer


are you saying that every womanwho posted their picture on the advice board is attractive to you. that is what you are saying according to your logic. so are you really attracted to every women whohas a picture here


this is exactly the reason i don't post my picture here. it helps screen out the shallow people
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #6  September 19,2008, 4:26am
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Alena,263973 wrote :

Oregon_Coast_Guy,263905 wrote :


You hit the nail on the head my5. They are simply not what society would consider to be attractive. Otherwise, what reason is there to hide your photo?


oh pulease. he may have hit a nail on the head. but you slammed your thumb with the hammer


are you saying that every womanwho posted their picture on the advice board is attractive to you. that is what you are saying according to your logic. so are you really attracted to every women whohas a picture here


this is exactly the reason i don't post my picture here. it helps screen out the shallow people
That's not what he's saying at all. People who don't post a picture on their eH dating profile (not here on the discussion board) generally have something to hide, which most people have found to be true. They may be overweight or some other attribute that they consider themselves to be unattractive.


Welcome to the world of internet dating where theinitial attraction is created by appearance. Call it shallow,or call it whatever you want but it's a fact.


No picture=close.


Good luck with your search.
 
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ksd is offline ksd Post #7  September 19,2008, 4:27am
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I got a match one time with no picture and her profile souned like because of her job she would be easily recognised.
 
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Alena is offline Alena Post #8  September 19,2008, 5:05am
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tweet37,263979 wrote :

That's not what he's saying at all. People who don't post a picture on their eH dating profile (not here on the discussion board)
i know what he was saying. i referenced the discussion board because there are more pictures here of women so i could make my point.


if i'm wrong and he's right, then are you saying that you were attracted to every match you got that had a picture
 
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CatCareMan is offline CatCareMan Post #9  September 19,2008, 5:14am
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thinks Drizella didn't like being photographed.

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"When someone doesn't post a photo they are of course unattractive." "By not posting a photo I weed out some of the shallow people."


Well, I'd say that there illustrates a bit one of the issues of any dating web site: people. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img] Seriously, there are so many reasons people do something here and so many interpretations someone can give to anything that is done, that trying to determine the motive behind any action is futile.


Take the action of not posting a photo. Here are some reasons I have seen people give for why they or others do not post photos:
[*]They are not considered by others to be good-looking[*]They do not consider themselves good-looking[*]They are considered by others to be very good-looking and don't want to be judged on that alone[*]They are always being contacted by people who do not post photos and they figure fair is fair[*]They are in the public sphere and are truly not wanting to be identified[*]They feel only shallow people use appearance as a criterion for selecting someone[*]They haven't a good, recent photo on the computer[*]They only just started here and haven't gotten around to posting a photo[*]They find it easier to pass themselves off as younger/thinner than they are if they do not post a photo[*]They forgot they never posted one[/list]

.


So many reasons, and as you have seen in earlier posts here, so many ways photos are used. Some automatically close folks who do not post them, others do not post their own because they figure some shallow folks will be weeded out thereby. I am sure some people have good & sufficient reasons (to them) for closing all matches who DO post photos.


Welcome to the world of on-line dating. So much like the real world, in that you usually cannot be certain why someone does something. Wait till you start to wrestle with the reasons folks close you as a match, or the meanings of Must Haves & Can't Stands. It is amazing to see how many folks have absolute and sure knowledge of the only possible interpretation of a particular Must Have, say.
 
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zeb431 is offline zeb431 Post #10  September 19,2008, 5:42am
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Looks like both are going into gifted programs. ;-)

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Oregon_Coast_Guy,263905 wrote :

You hit the nail on the head my5. They are simply not what society would consider to be attractive. Otherwise, what reason is there to hide your photo?
does there come a point where a photo becomes more of a glaring advertisement or bragging over simply trying to look good.





like I asked elsewhere, can one person's confidence be another person's hubris?
 
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