Dustyjo is offline Dustyjo Post #1  September 15,2008, 6:21pm
Dustyjo's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: May 2008

Posts: 665

See profile



I have been told men are not mind readers and need to betalked directly too..so ladies here is our chance..........


We like to know when you are interested. It is not fun guessing does he like me or not?? If I am having trouble figuring that out I will lose interest. One of my best dates was when we werehalf way throught the first date..he said may I ask you for a second date now? I do not want you to wonder if I am interested. It really took some of the pressure off and we had a great time.


Please do not ask for our number if you do not plan on calling. You know if you are interested or not and if you will call, it is just simple courtesy.


Little gestures do mean alot. A guy that notices the little things will be there for you in the bigger things....opening doors, complimenting on how we look. If we know what you like we will want to wear it more. We know you are bachelors but mess is a big turn off for most women and animals.


Be yourself...most girls will appreciate a guy and his quirks. We really are forgiving in that way, maybe because we by nature see our own flaws so easily that we are more forgiving to others. A guy that tries too hard to be impressive will have the opposite affect of what he wants. I once had a guy I had been dating totally blow off my birthday and notr speak to me all weekend and then 4 days later sent a dozen roses with a box of chocolates, 4 ballons and a stuffed animal attached.....I gave everythiong away to my patients...what would have mnean tmore is that he would have taken time to acually acknowledge my birthday on my brithday( and he knew exactly when it was)......


Ladies............
 
  Reply With Quote
Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #2  September 15,2008, 6:56pm
Tantalus's Avatar

is apparently a narcotic to some people

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

South Carolina

Posts: 1,455

See profile



My personal experience runs counter to almost everything you suggest here.


When I let women know I am interested, they lose interest and run away. And it's not like I'm jumping out at them naked or anything.


I agree with you 100% about calling. That's just plain common sense.


I notice alot of littlethings and have never received any acknoledgement for it. It's like women expect it and are only disappointed when you don't.


The last one I have the biggest bone of contention with. I've heard that so many times, but honestly,it doesn't always work. Often, it's best to be on your best behavior in the beginning, not get into who you are too deeply, because if you do, womenget bored and leave in my experience. As for your particular example, I wouldn't say he wasn't being himself when he forgot, he was just a jerk. No offense meant to your taste or anything.
 
  Reply With Quote
Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #3  September 15,2008, 6:57pm
Tantalus's Avatar

is apparently a narcotic to some people

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

South Carolina

Posts: 1,455

See profile



I should add: thanks for at least trying to help us guys out. That's far more than most women ever do.
 
  Reply With Quote
TaoShaffer is offline TaoShaffer Post #4  September 15,2008, 7:33pm
TaoShaffer's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2008

San Diego, CA

Posts: 177

See profile



Every Woman is different. Just like every Man is different. What works for some won't work for others. I'm sure if you are trying to start a relationship with a woman such as dustyjo, these methods would work. Any other woman and well it COULD be a completely different story.


Tantalus: It could be the type of woman you are trying to go after. And I hate to sound clinical or coporate, but take a look at your demographic. Are they attractive..? Well to do..? Career oriented..? Older..? Younger..?


People change over time. could just be your age bracket.


--Tao
 
  Reply With Quote
Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #5  September 15,2008, 7:33pm
Tantalus's Avatar

is apparently a narcotic to some people

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

South Carolina

Posts: 1,455

See profile



Sure. I was just hoping to get an actual dialog with a whole bunch of women chiming in. I'll take all the help I can get (provided it's something I haven't tried already, of course). [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  September 15,2008, 7:37pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile



Yes, we men are not mind readers and need to be talked directly too.


We like to know when you are interested. I would like to know that you are interested in me also.


Can I give you my number, calling puople terrifies me but I would be happy to talk to you if you call me.


Little gestures do mean alot. Once we meet my mind has turned to mush and I forget to tell you how nice you look, etc. I can remember to open doors though. FYI red is my favorite color so if you are wearing red this is good.


Be yourself... I am not a very good actor so being myself is about as good as it gets.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  September 15,2008, 7:38pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile



My impression is the 'Be yourself' suggestion we always hear....is because women want to know the 'real' us. This doesn't necessarily mean they're going to like us....just that they don't want to spend weeks getting to know us acting fake or just 'nice'. By 'being ourselves' they can quicklysee who we reallyare and then either reject or approve of us without wasted energy and time. And I think that is the way to go....better for a woman to know the real me and not like me than to know a fake me and like me for this.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  September 15,2008, 7:39pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Tantalus,259928 wrote :

When I let women know I am interested, they lose interest and run away. And it's not like I'm jumping out at them naked or anything.

Maybe you should try jumping out at them naked [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
 
  Reply With Quote
Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #9  September 15,2008, 7:40pm
Tantalus's Avatar

is apparently a narcotic to some people

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

South Carolina

Posts: 1,455

See profile

TaoShaffer,260001 wrote :

Tantalus: It could be the type of woman you are trying to go after. And I hate to sound clinical or coporate, but take a look at your demographic. Are they attractive..? Well to do..? Career oriented..? Older..? Younger..?


People change over time. could just be your age bracket.


--Tao
Well, right now I'm mostly limited to my eHarmony matches. Most of them are somewhat attractive, but only one or two are what I would consider very attractive. I have no idea who much money they have, as I don't care. I would say most are not career oriented, but some could be, and it doesn't really bother me as long as they don't try to use me as a therapist to complain to when their life sucks because they voluntarily took three jobs at once even though they don't need the money (yes, I have been with a woman who has done this). Most of the women I have actually dated have been a few years older than I, but in terms of attractiveness, I typically look for women who are a few years younger.


If this info tells you something I'm not seeing, please go ahead (and feel free to be clinical), although I don't really want to hijack the thread.
 
  Reply With Quote
TallGuy65 is offline TallGuy65 Post #10  September 15,2008, 7:43pm
TallGuy65's Avatar

No Longer Here...Very Happy In Life. Peace To All.

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 377

See profile



Dustyjo...you have me a bit sad. When you said "Hints For Guys" and it is now the middle of September, I thought for sure you were going to give us pointers on finding the perfect Christmas gift...Lord knows we guys need all of the time and help we can get in that area...
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« The Secret to Dating Success | Dating | I mean, I seriously need some Friday Night Roll Call !!! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ...90%????? I'd say it's more like 60 to 70 percent of women who say they offer to pay on the first and subsequent dates, and/or have no problem with going dutch. I'm in the pool of women who ... ” –  legend29

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“I think you were there when he was hurting, and she was there when he wanted fun. He chose fun as a long term partner. That's understandable. The posters who've said you might be a reminder of the ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“ I know exactly where you are coming from. I went in thinking "man, it is just an email. Fire off a response, yeah or nay. What is the big deal?" but the truth is a little more complicated. Plus, I ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “Guided Communication VS Email” discussion

“ I believe you and I got confused for a second. I didn't hit the Police officer. I hit the lady in front of me and then someone reported the accident and he came to check it out. That's how I met ... ” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“My bf just gave me advice about an adult child. I was in shock. He's never done that before. I didn't think he cared at all. The advice was really good too. It was supportive and I could see ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:24pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0