Dustyjo is offline Dustyjo Post #21  September 15,2008, 10:36pm
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TaoShaffer,260001 wrote :

Every Woman is different. Just like every Man is different. What works for some won't work for others. I'm sure if you are trying to start a relationship with a woman such as dustyjo, these methods would work. Any other woman and well it COULD be a completely different story.


Tantalus: It could be the type of woman you are trying to go after. And I hate to sound clinical or coporate, but take a look at your demographic. Are they attractive..? Well to do..? Career oriented..? Older..? Younger..?


People change over time. could just be your age bracket.


--Tao
Great point...this is what I like and have friends with similiar likes but not all women like the same thing.......
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #22  September 15,2008, 10:49pm
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A hint for the guys, We are watching everything you do as well as what you don't do. Now does thatfill you with fear? LOL
 
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SweetJude is offline SweetJude Post #23  September 16,2008, 2:19am
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jayjay,260010 wrote :

My impression is the 'Be yourself' suggestion we always hear....is because women want to know the 'real' us. This doesn't necessarily mean they're going to like us....just that they don't want to spend weeks getting to know us acting fake or just 'nice'. By 'being ourselves' they can quicklysee who we reallyare and then either reject or approve of us without wasted energy and time. And I think that is the way to go....better for a woman to know the real me and not like me than to know a fake me and like me for this.
But what if I like the "fake" you on Mondays, but on Tuesdays I prefer the "real" you. On Wednesdays I want a little of both, and on Thursdays I want to be alone. Will you ask me out again for Friday? [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #24  September 16,2008, 2:35am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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SweetJude,260385 wrote :

jayjay,260010 wrote :


My impression is the 'Be yourself' suggestion we always hear....is because women want to know the 'real' us. This doesn't necessarily mean they're going to like us....just that they don't want to spend weeks getting to know us acting fake or just 'nice'. By 'being ourselves' they can quicklysee who we reallyare and then either reject or approve of us without wasted energy and time. And I think that is the way to go....better for a woman to know the real me and not like me than to know a fake me and like me for this.


But what if I like the "fake" you on Mondays, but on Tuesdays I prefer the "real" you. On Wednesdays I want a little of both, and on Thursdays I want to be alone. Will you ask me out again for Friday? [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
Waaaaaay too complicated for me. As 'doctord' would say....'next'. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #25  September 16,2008, 3:06am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Doctord,260291 wrote :

As I have stated before, I am not on this site to date women. I am on here to help guys be successful with women. I have had much success with dating and I can tell you if you follow the advice of the OP your first date will be your last. The advice is coming from someone that obviously does not get many dates.


Now to explain, my advice is toward dating attractive girls. The above advice will work with unattractive. In fact, anything will work with unattractive girls.


First, don't talk about how interested you are in a woman on a first date....the worse advise I have ever heard. Attractive girls are used to guys being interested. Second, asking for a second date on the first date is a bad idea. and will onlywork with girls that are not attractive. You ask....What creates attraction? Mystery and confidence is what creates attraction. Spouting off about your feelings and how interested you are makes you look like you do not have other options and makes you look desperate. You will become more attractive if a girl wonders if you like her or not. You will become more attractive if the girl wonders if you will call her.


Some of the stuff about being polite and opening doors is just common since....and a must on the date. Remember, don't take the date too serious and be funny and have confidence.
I hear what you're saying, and I'm familiar with the type of advice you're giving (such as from your 'namesake'?). And, I do think what you are advocating IS what works....but only with a segment of the female population. You frame it in terms of 'attractive' women...but my impression is it's even more specific than that. I think of this segment of the female population as the 'shallow and (sometimes) attractive' group. Yes, I think it probably is true that a greater percentage of '10s' (as you may call them) are of this type than women in the rest of the population. But, frankly, I have no interest in this segment of the female population (regardless of how attractive they are).


I have also considered the POV that follows from your strategy of using 'mystery and confidence' not just on a first date....but throughout a relationship, because a man sharing his feelings is a 'wussy'. For me, personal growth is about gaining a progressively wider and deeper experience of all aspects of myself. And, I'm looking for a woman that I can share all theseaspects of myself with. I think I do have a certain amount of confidence (and occasionally a little mystery [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img])...but these are rather the more surface aspects of who I am. I'm much more interested in exploring and developing other aspects of who I am...and also in sharing these with a woman.


Personally, I no longer have any interest in getting 'success' with women, or in multiplying the number of dates I get. What I'm interested in is finding a woman that I can share the deepest experiences of myself and of life with. This being the case, I'm not really interested in what 'works' with women...I'm interested in sharing the full life experience with someone (ok...not all of it on a first date [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]) and in findinga greatperson to do this with.


If certain women, even very attractive ones, aren't into this...then they simply aren't right for me. And, for me, a woman who is deeply aware and able to share the full range and depth of who she is as a person...is much more rare and valuable than a woman who is only very attractive physically.


I think the best way for me to find the kind ofwoman I can share all of this with....is to begin by seeing how much of her own experience she is aware of and open to sharing. Trying to 'act' a certain way is actually the very antithesis of how I want to live my life. I expect you are a very intelligent man and would look forward to hearing more of your thoughts on these topics.
 
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Ciao_eh is offline Ciao_eh Post #26  September 16,2008, 3:36am
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Observationsfrom another older woman (age 50):


Being honest about your interest in her is a good idea, in my book--this does notmean that you reveal everything you are feeling. Most of my dates have been honest about who they are.This does not guarantee a second or third date. Asking for a seconddate in the middle of the date is risky, though--may become the END of the date if she says no--or she may lie to avoid this one. I think asking at the end is better. The truth is, there still needs to be chemistry and/or interest on both sides to have a second date.





Bribes for second dates don't work - no opera tickets or wholesale jewelry.Gimme a break, who wants a woman that falls for that?





I appreciate honesty and deliver it as well. When asked for a second date and I do not want one, I will tell you gently that I do not feel a connection. Do not ask for a second date face to face unless you are willing to possibly hear that I do not want one, face to face.





Relax and have fun--if you don't have a romantic connection with your date, perhaps you will end up with a new friend? I have a few eharmony guys I dated that are now friends.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #27  September 16,2008, 4:28am
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A man who I met on a competing web site, expressed his desire to see me again in a most interesting way. We met after 3 months of emails and phone calls, when I visited his city for a conference last Summer. He told me that I would enjoy the New Years Day Parade in his city. That wasn't hard to arrange... my Aunt with whom I spend the Christmas holidays lives 2 hours away from his city.


My point being... that subtlety works too. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img]
 
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pinz is offline pinz Post #28  September 16,2008, 5:29am
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I think some consideration has to be given for AGE.


And by that I mean, 'hormones' are doing different things at 15 or 20 then they are at 40 or 60.


We are animals, blessed with a intelligence needed for survival.


The 'survival instinct' manifests itself differently in each s e x.


We act accordingly, by either 'putting on the brakes' or 'stepping on the gas' ... to put it in 'male speak'.


(And thanks for Czech for that 'concept', initially posted in the Porn thread ...)
 
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CoteDuRhone is offline CoteDuRhone Post #29  September 16,2008, 5:38am

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Being yourself is extremely good advice, for two reasons. One, it's less work. Two, if it isn't going to work out, you know sooner than later.
 
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CoteDuRhone is offline CoteDuRhone Post #30  September 16,2008, 5:43am

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Dustyjo, wrote :

If we know what you like we will want to wear it more.
I have some bad experience on this front. Yes, it is true that women will often dress the way the dude likes to see them. However, they will often do that even if they don't like to dress that way, and that's a slap in the face. I had an ex who hated one particular accessory, but put it on anyway because I liked it. I had another ex who hated to wear her hair down, but would do so because I liked it. After the breakup, both told me that my preferences sucked. I was aghast. From that point onwards, I have been guarded about giving compliments about looks, making it clear that my preference means nothing.
 
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