question for the single moms out there


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irishbrian is offline irishbrian Post #1  August 28,2008, 10:34pm
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There's a single mom that I've known for the last several months. We met at a singles group (religious-based) and hit it off immediately. Compatible personalities, lifestyle, long-term goals and religious convictions. Definite "lightning bolts shooting from eyes" sort of attraction...so the chemistry is there. Also, she's not turned off with my martial arts "thing"...so that's an enormousplus for me! We've talk a lot on the phoneand via email, and have managed to get insome dates whenever she can manage finding a sitter for her daughter (9 years old) that won't interfere with the "regular" routine of life for the child. Although she wants to date me more frequently...she's not willing to sacrifice too much timefrom her daughter...and I deeply respect that. Her daughter comes first always...that'spart of the reason I find attractive about her.


She emailed me today and asked if I wanted to accompany her & her daughter this Labor Day weekend on some events. This would be the first time I'd meet her daughter. Although we frequently talk about her daughter, it is a mutually-acknowledged, butunspoken thing that she's protecting her daughter from getting emotionally-attached to "just a guy" that she's dating. Although I'm your typical, never-married bachelor, I'm smart enough to figure out that this is a BIG step. I'm formally being tested. She wants to see how I hit it off with her kid and to see if I'm "family man" material.


Question to the single moms out there: based upon your own experiences as well as the scenario I described above...what are you looking for in us bachelors? The IrishBrian needs all the cheater-points he can get!
 
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rebekah777 is offline rebekah777 Post #2  August 28,2008, 10:54pm
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well...i'd be looking for someone who got along well with my daughters...who knew how to talk to her to make her feel like what she was saying was the most interesting thing in the world...even if she was just telling you that they put in a new pencil sharpener at school...was able to get down on the floor and play a game of monopoly without worrying about getting his pants all dirty...someone who put my child first...just like they would do for their own...kids like when adults are silly...it makes them laugh...
 
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rebekah777 is offline rebekah777 Post #3  August 28,2008, 10:57pm
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oh...one more thing...what's really hot today that all little girls like is Hannah Montannah...so...maybe a little gift or something would make her smile...a little purse with hannah montannah on it is good...theres soooo much stuff with her on it...pick something cute...and colorful
 
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gr8galmv is offline gr8galmv Post #4  August 28,2008, 11:42pm
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Not a single mom, in fact, not a mom nor ever married. But question, is she introducing you as a friend of hers or is this being set up as a date? Kind of odd that she's so protective but yet, you guys don't sound serious enough to have gotten to that step of introductions with the child.
 
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irishbrian is offline irishbrian Post #5  August 28,2008, 11:50pm
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gr8galmv,237554 wrote :

Not a single mom, in fact, not a mom nor ever married. But question, is she introducing you as a friend of hers or is this being set up as a date? Kind of odd that she's so protective but yet, you guys don't sound serious enough to have gotten to that step of introductions with the child.
Clearly as a friend at this point...and for obvious reasons.She's referred to me as "a friend" when speaking to her daughterof me (I've heard over the phone). However, we have exchanged good-night kisses on our dates, so there's at least "something" there. However, I do hear what you're saying, Gr8galmv. I appreciate the perspective you bring. I'm here to learn!
 
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japaneseblueeyes is offline japaneseblueeyes Post #6  August 29,2008, 12:59am
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irishbrian, wrote :

Definite "lightning bolts shooting from eyes" sort of attraction...so the chemistry is there.
Then why are you online here flirting with other women?
 
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Cal_Lady is offline Cal_Lady Post #7  August 29,2008, 2:09am
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Okay, well I am WELL qualified as a single mother on here. 9 year old girls will be old enough to know what's going on, will be watching you to see how you treat Mom AND her....and will know if you're trying too hard to win her over. Brian, you're a great dude, be yourself...be thoughtful, talk to her daughter on her level...be genuine...and of course, take 'em all out to have fun on Labor Day weekend (wherever you all go). btw, the Hannah Montana thing is good advice, but not all girls are into her (mine's not and she's 9...my daughter loves stuffed animals...everything animal, cause she wants to be a vet).


HAVE FUN...AND THOSE AROUND YOU WILL BE PUT AT EASE AND HAVE FUN TOO


and yes...it's a huge step....and yes, it's a test


Blessings on your time together
 
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Cal_Lady is offline Cal_Lady Post #8  August 29,2008, 2:11am
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japaneseblueeyes,237610 wrote :

irishbrian, wrote :


Definite "lightning bolts shooting from eyes" sort of attraction...so the chemistry is there.


Then why are you online here flirting with other women?
...hopefully cause he aint "taken" yet lol
 
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japaneseblueeyes is offline japaneseblueeyes Post #9  August 29,2008, 2:52am
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Cal_Lady,237622 wrote :

japaneseblueeyes,237610 wrote :


irishbrian, wrote :


Definite "lightning bolts shooting from eyes" sort of attraction...so the chemistry is there.


Then why are you online here flirting with other women?


...hopefully cause he aint "taken" yet lol
But should he really be meeting her daughter if he is not "taken" yet?


I am not a mother, but if it was me, I would not let any guy meet my children until I was engaged to him or very close to be. 2 months is not enough time to know where this relationship is going. He needs to date her a lot longer to see if there is anything of substance there to maintain a long term relationship.


I think the mother thinks that this relationship is much more serious than he thinks it is.


Also a 9 year old is smart enough to figure out that they are not just friends, do not insult her intelligence by lying. Her mother should refer to you as her boyfriend because that is what you are, simple as that.


Do the right thing, do not meet her daugther until you know for sure that you will not leave the mother`s life.


IB knows that I am brutally honest in all my posts with everyone, he has a thick skin, he can take it. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
 
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aim01 is offline aim01 Post #10  August 29,2008, 3:51am
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i have a young son & have also been extremely protective when it comes to him meeting men that i date. however, i am comfortable with him meeting my friends, and several of them are men. he loves it when men give him little gifts, and kids have amazing natural instincts about people in general. my mom has always said there's something about kids & dogs when they meet people...they just know whether to like them or not. be yourself, have fun, but don't try too hard--that's a big turnoff.
 
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