question for the single moms out there


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irishbrian is offline irishbrian Post #31  August 30,2008, 1:12pm
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noseyparker,239102 wrote :

japaneseblueeyes,237610 wrote :


irishbrian, wrote :


Definite "lightning bolts shooting from eyes" sort of attraction...so the chemistry is there.


Then why are you online here flirting with other women?


I'm with JBE on this. Does your lady friend know you're keeping your options open? If you're still looking for a better option, she ought to know, so she does not introduce you to her child. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img]
Thank you, NoseyParker. I have come to respect both yours & JBE's opinions here on this forum. And, yes, I hear exactly what you(and JBE) aresaying. I've been pondering this matter over this weekend. Methinks you two know me better than most people on this forum...which is why I heed your advice.


I spoke tothe womanon the phone both last night and this morning.We've discussed "us" and if there is indeed really an "us" and what exactly does that all mean. As I said earlier in this thread, I don't take this issue casually...hence me seeking genuine advice on this matter.We are to confirm plans tomorrow evening (proposed event is on Labor Day). It's not set in stone, via my request. I understand that meeting the bambino is a very big deal...even in the innocuous role of chaperon at the amusement park. She already knows my name and has heard my voice on the phone when she answers instead of her Mom. I'm not dismissing the levity of this situation.


I have until Sunday evening to sh!t or get off the pot...
 
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SheilaSmile is offline SheilaSmile Post #32  April 22,2009, 4:18pm
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irishbrian, wrote :

There's a single mom that I've known for the last several months. We met at a singles group (religious-based) and hit it off immediately. Compatible personalities, lifestyle, long-term goals and religious convictions. Definite "lightning bolts shooting from eyes" sort of attraction...so the chemistry is there. Also, she's not turned off with my martial arts "thing"...so that's an enormousplus for me! We've talk a lot on the phoneand via email, and have managed to get insome dates whenever she can manage finding a sitter for her daughter (9 years old) that won't interfere with the "regular" routine of life for the child. Although she wants to date me more frequently...she's not willing to sacrifice too much timefrom her daughter...and I deeply respect that. Her daughter comes first always...that'spart of the reason I find attractive about her.


She emailed me today and asked if I wanted to accompany her & her daughter this Labor Day weekend on some events. This would be the first time I'd meet her daughter. Although we frequently talk about her daughter, it is a mutually-acknowledged, butunspoken thing that she's protecting her daughter from getting emotionally-attached to "just a guy" that she's dating. Although I'm your typical, never-married bachelor, I'm smart enough to figure out that this is a BIG step. I'm formally being tested. She wants to see how I hit it off with her kid and to see if I'm "family man" material.


Question to the single moms out there: based upon your own experiences as well as the scenario I described above...what are you looking for in us bachelors? The IrishBrian needs all the cheater-points he can get!
As a single mom of two and having been single for the past 17 years, I feel I'm qualified to help.Sounds like you two already have the bases covered on where you stand on major issues. That's the biggest hurdle in my mind. You don't have to be best friends but you do need to make an effort to talk and get to knowher.A woman wants to know that loving her is loving her children as well. In good times and bad. Do something that makes the child feel special. It doesn't have to be the latest thing. It could be a flower or showing interest in something she says to help her feel comfortable and at ease with you. I'm sure she is going to be a little uncomfortable too, so breaking the ice will help. It's the effort that matters most. You don't need to over-do it or over think it. If I'm that interested in a guy and I wait for him to meet my children, a one-time meeting is not going to make or break a relationship. You usually find out more over a couple visitsso relax and try to be yourself. She must like you a lot if she is introducing you to her daughter. Good Luck!
 
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cheeseheadgal is offline cheeseheadgal Post #33  April 22,2009, 8:30pm
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I would just say, be careful. I have a "one year" rule, which I don't expect everyone else to follow, I'm just sayin' that's me. I have to protect him from those who are not going to be around for the long haul. I see no point in my son getting attached to a guy, who is just going to end up leaving again (like his dad).


Just please be careful.
 
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tweety103 is offline tweety103 Post #34  June 15,2010, 12:57pm
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As a single mom that has been out and dated some I can say that when being introduced as a friend it is protecting her daughter from have guy after guy in her life and handeling confusion, and hurt. I didn't introduce my son to anyone I dated until I felt comfortable with them and then it is was an introduction to a friend. I think it is great that you think enough of the both of them to seek out advice. Be yourself, get to know her daughter with the same effort you put into getting to know her. As a mom the effort they put in with my kids is far more important than the effort that is put in for me.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #35  June 15,2010, 1:17pm

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this thread is 2 years old.
 
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