skier102 is offline skier102 Post #1  February 10,2008, 8:03am
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Last year we met on eharmony, date for several months, then broke up. We have recently gotten back in touch with each other. Have gone out , and have spent the night with each a couple of times. She says she is not ready to be in a relationship, but continues to be in touch with me, calling me most every night. She is leading me to beleive that she wants something more but I am not sure how to proceed or how to most wisely handle this. We are both currently back on e-harmony. I have not yet met anyone, not being sure what is going on with her.



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dy19 is offline dy19 Post #2  February 20,2008, 3:07pm
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So to clarify... Why did you two call it off? Do you want a more serious relationship with her?
 
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dy19 is offline dy19 Post #3  February 20,2008, 3:18pm
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I am in a simular situation. That is why I had to ask the questions. I too have told him that I am OK with a more casual realationship but only because of his behavior when we dating before. In my case it is more a defense mechanism. If it doesn't work out, I have lost nothing because it wasn't defined. Does that make sense?
 
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steph86 is offline steph86 Post #4  February 20,2008, 3:37pm
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Why did you break up? Are the reasons for the break up still valid? If so, then it seems like you're doomed to break up once again. If you are okay with just a casual relationship, then keep seeing her, but make sure you aren't setting yourself up to get hurt if it doesn't last or turn into something more serious.
 
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Sarah is offline Sarah Post #5  February 20,2008, 4:15pm
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skier102, wrote :

Last year we met on eharmony, date for several months, then broke up. We have recently gotten back in touch with each other. Have gone out , and have spent the night with each a couple of times. She says she is not ready to be in a relationship, but continues to be in touch with me, calling me most every night. She is leading me to beleive that she wants something more but I am not sure how to proceed or how to most wisely handle this. We are both currently back on e-harmony. I have not yet met anyone, not being sure what is going on with her.



Thanks
Seems to me that she is happy with things being casual a sexship if you will not really a committed relationship since both of you are on eharomy and looking at other options. If you're ok with that then go with it. But perhaps instead of asking the advice board, why don't you just ask her? After all, she can tell you better than we can if she would. She has already said that she wasn't ready to be in a relationship but she seems to have no objection with seeing you on occassion and sleeping with you. If you can keep everything on that level, then go with it. To each his/her own.
 
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kli1000 is offline kli1000 Post #6  February 22,2008, 10:27am
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skier102, wrote :

She is leading me to beleive that she wants something more but I am not sure how to proceed or how to most wisely handle this. We are both currently back on e-harmony.
Question is what do you want? I'm guessing that you want to rekindle the relationship that you had, but my recommendation would be to take it a bit slow. You said you dated for a few months, but how well did you get to know this woman? Don't get too caught up in trying to determine if she's "the one" just yet. Continue to spend time with her and get to know her. If you're afraid that the daily calls is an indication that she wants more, but you're not ready to commit, then be honest with her and tell her. If you want more and think she's ready for more, then again, talk to her and see if she's willing to explore a monogamous relationship with you.
 
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ravenfyre7 is offline ravenfyre7 Post #7  August 24,2008, 9:48am
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Getting Back with your ex. I am in a similar situation but a little different. me and my ex fiance seperated after 6 yrs together. I stayed single greiving overe the love of my life fro al ong time.


2 yrs ago. I joined other dating sites as well as E harmony. I 've been moderately sucessfull in a few long term relationships from these 2 be exact each lasting a yr. Now to the present, I've beengood freinds with my ex hubby the whole time as he has with m. We have 3 cats and we raised tehm together so they're ourchildren. About 6mos ago, he was in town and I invited him over. We enjoyed each other's comany and saw a lot of good changes in each other. This has led to a long distaNCE dating relationship. I want more but am very scared to make the same mistakes over and fall all in love with him again . this would be our 3 rd time back around and yes their have been changes but he still refuses to leave his girlfreind and be with me. He said to give him time and to have an open relationship for now. i agreed but am waiting to see what happens. I want him to fall in love with me allo ver again, but 10 yrs older and wiser, can this really happen or only i nthe movies or am I flirting with a RECIPE FOR DIASTER!IN THE MAKING.


pLEASE would like some comments and opnions from people who have done this before. Did it work or not? CAN YOU GO SUCESSFULLY BACK WITH YOUR EX HUSBAND AFTR 10 YRS!


RAVEN
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #8  August 24,2008, 9:47pm
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skier102, wrote :

Last year we met on eharmony, date for several months, then broke up. We have recently gotten back in touch with each other. Have gone out , and have spent the night with each a couple of times. She says she is not ready to be in a relationship, but continues to be in touch with me, calling me most every night. She is leading me to beleive that she wants something more but I am not sure how to proceed or how to most wisely handle this. We are both currently back on e-harmony. I have not yet met anyone, not being sure what is going on with her.





Thanks
Maybe your confusion lead to the first breakup, I don't know, but she's giving you mixed messages . . . again. She's not ready? Fine. Have her stop calling you everyday. Tell her it's too confusing and you need someone whose more clear about what they want.
 
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GuardianAngelAmJHN is offline GuardianAngelAmJHN Post #9  November 19,2009, 7:11am
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If he's not leaving her, he's playing you both. He gets everything he wants and the two (or several, you never know) of you are left crying yourselves to sleep at night while he's getting it on and couldn't be happier. If he's taken, stay away. If he loved you he wouldn't be able to go to bed with her at night.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #10  November 19,2009, 4:28pm
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Come on now, the OP was 21 months ago.
 
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