How do i recoonect with him again?


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snow99 is offline snow99 Post #1  February 11,2012, 6:39pm
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Hi;

Few months agao, a gentleman responded to my ads on Online Dating webpage. We then correspondence very well for a few weeks. We exchanged on interestests, hobbies, values, career etc. But we did not meet each other yet at that time as he was a returning to his home country for an examinination. However, in his last email to me he told me he found his right match lady who responseded to his persoanl ads on the same Online Dating where he responded to my ads. In his last email to me, he also mentioned that from the few weeks exchanging of emails, he found me interesting, genuine and kind lady too.

I responded his ads by expressing my happiness to him on finding his new lover and at the same time i felt sad for myself. Nevertheless, my life will move on and i will continue to find my Mr. Right.

Last week, i went back to the online dating website again, and i saw his personal ads again. That made me think that his relationships with the lady may not go well and he advertised again....

If he is truely broken with the lady, how am i reconnected with him again?

FYI, i really have good impression on him as i find that we are so matching in our age, career, education, hobbies, interests, values etc. Although we have not me each other, but i really want and have strong connection with him to continue with the relationship.

May i have your opinion, should i send him an email via the email address with have correspondenced with each others (i worry that he may not visit to the email address as he created a special email address for the purpose of on line dating, anyway this is just my guessing), or should i responded to his personal ads on the Online dating again, or should i load up the old personal ads where he used to responded...

Could you please kindly give me your advice.
Thank you for your time, i appreciate it very much.

You have a good day.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #2  February 12,2012, 12:46am
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wrote :
Although we have not me each other,
If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced daters, many of whom have been there, done that at some point.

wrote :
should i send him an email via the email address with have correspondenced or or should i responded to his personal ads on the Online dating again
Why not send your message to both? I don't see "re-connecting" as a big deal. Ladies who I dated but who missed out due to timing send me hellos from time to time. They ask how am I doing, when I'm free so we can catch up, etc. Holidays are always a good excuse.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; February 12,2012 at 12:48am.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #3  February 12,2012, 1:59am
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He has already turned you down for someone else once. Now he is looking for yet another woman, but not you.

If he were at all interested in you, he would have contacted you through the site........

Find other matches and move on ....Good Luck.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  February 12,2012, 4:44am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
He has already turned you down for someone else once. Now he is looking for yet another woman, but not you.

If he were at all interested in you, he would have contacted you through the site........

Find other matches and move on ....Good Luck.
This^

To the OP-
He may be playing you, or lying to you, who knows.. but he does know where to find you and he will if he's interested enough.
And until you actually meet someone don't get all wrapped up in who they might be...it all means nothing, ziltch...zero, until you meet.
 
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dovegirl is online now dovegirl — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  February 12,2012, 5:24am
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I personally would wait until he contacted me, instead of putting myself out there again. He already passed over you once. I would focus on finding someone for whom I was the first choice.

Also, in the future I would advise against spending so much time in email without actually meeting. The person you think you have a connection with is most likely NOT the actual person he is.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  February 12,2012, 5:29am
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I think the situation is not assured of being as hopeless as is being suggested above.

If I had a communication which was doing fine, but another one which was better or simply progresses faster, then I would not have tried to "have my cake and eat it too" by chasing additional potential partners (I limit myself to the one best option.)

Then, if my one failed or faded out, and it had been months, I would probably not seek to re-establish with other online contacts (I would assume they are now off the market.)

Now, if I happened to find one was still available and I was still interested, then I would write them again.

For me, the critical detail is a profile view. If a person viewed my profile and did not write, I take this as proof they are not interested, and I would therefore not write them. If he viewed your profile and did not write, then forget him.

Presumably you viewed his profile, so now it is on you to write. I would use a personal e-mail address if I had one, but it is also fine to communicate through the dating site (or both, due to the frequent changing of e-mails.)
 
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snow99 is offline snow99 Post #7  February 12,2012, 6:19am
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hi D_Lion;

i discovered that he already unload the "Personal Ads" on the On-Line dating website.

If you are a man, once you turned down a lady, will you reconnect him again? His ego may prevent him from doing so. In addition to this, i have deleted his MSN in which we used to chat frequently during the period we correspondence with each other. However i still have his hotmail address.
 
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snow99 is offline snow99 Post #8  February 12,2012, 6:21am
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Hi, you think is ok for me to write to him? i wonder what is his reaction...
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #9  February 12,2012, 6:31am
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I'm not sure why you want to chase after this stranger online?

As mentioned...if you can see his profile online...than he can see yours...If he wanted to reconnect again since he broke up with his girlfriend...he would have...

It sounds like you are falling into the trap of getting emotionally attached to a complete stranger...You all may "seem" compatible in some areas on the computer...that doesn't mean it's going to translate in real life...

I just think that in this case...he made the last move of telling you he chose someone else over you. If he wanted to date you, he would reach out to you...
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #10  February 12,2012, 6:45am
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snow99 wrote :
If you are a man, once you turned down a lady, will you reconnect him again? His ego may prevent him from doing so.
He didn't turn down a lady, he turned down a profile. He never met you, so he has no idea who you really are.

Yes, profiles I never got a chance to meet I would reconnect with if a relationship didn't pan out. What does ego have to do with it? Why would I feel "bad" if my girl and I were incompatible. The ladies I actually dates but didn't hit it off with, I wouldn't reconnect with most because they obviously weren't compelling. Unless I felt timing played a big role in the outcome. The one exception is a lady who's been texting me regularly for six months.

wrote :
Hi, you think is ok for me to write to him? i wonder what is his reaction...
You have nothing to lose. Reaction #1: Sure, let's go on a date and learn more about each other; Reaction #2: Sorry, I just don't feel we're incompatible; Reaction #3: I'm already dating someone. ::shrug:: Worst case scenario you're back where you started.
 
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