Is this rude or am I overreacting?


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Mariyole is offline Mariyole Post #1  February 6,2012, 6:38pm
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Hello,

I started communicating with a match. The first thing he asked me when he got the chance to send me questions is about the year, make and model of my car.
It turned me off.
Would you keep talking to somebody like that or would you move on?
 
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jme21 is online now jme21 Post #2  February 6,2012, 7:17pm
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Seems ridiculous to ask such a specific question instead of asking if you have a mode of transportation and I don't know why that would even come up unless you were actually both having a conversation about it. If you're asking us to help you decide whether you should continue talking to him then there probably isn't much else to the guy that would make you want to keep talking to him after such a comment, so just move on...otherwise, you could question why he would ask such a specific, albeit, trivial question and why it even matters? Maybe he has a good reason, who knows. Some of the best looking girls I've seen have drove beaters so I couldn't really care less. As long as they can meet me for a date, I don't care if they ride the bus, take a train, or ride a bike. If it progresses further than that, then sure, it may matter...but I wouldn't look that far ahead.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #3  February 6,2012, 7:19pm
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Is there anything about cars in your profile or in his?
 
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Mariyole is offline Mariyole Post #4  February 6,2012, 7:25pm
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Neither of us has mentioned anything about cars in our profiles. Where we live there is negligeable public transportation so everybody has a car. I have never met a person who doesn't own a car. The guy is a lawyer and although I am an engineer I get the feeling he wants to avoid women who are under certain level of income. Don't know what the passing score is and not sure if I want to know.
 
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smedley is offline smedley Post #5  February 6,2012, 7:26pm
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He's probably a "motorhead"...a guy really interested in cars. He probably thinks he can tell a lot about a person by the kind of car they drive. I would have asked him why he wanted to know...maybe make a little joke out of it. It's kind of like judging a person by how they dress..

Or...did you make plans to meet? Maybe he was asking to make sure he could locate you when you pulled into the parking lot.

 
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jme21 is online now jme21 Post #6  February 6,2012, 7:29pm
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That's silly. Some people make tons of money without feeling the need to live a glamorous lifestyle....if a car is part of his dating criteria then clearly he's high maintenance and materialistic.
 
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scandalous is offline scandalous Post #7  February 6,2012, 7:43pm
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I could see if he asked if you have a car or access to transportation (borrowing or sharing a car with family/friends), but year, make, and model? I would have been turned off, too.

I probably would stop talking to him if a guy asked me like that.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  February 6,2012, 10:09pm
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That would make me completely stop in my tracks. Do you live in a sparsely populated area? Maybe he thinks he knows who you are already and would be able to identify you by the vehicle you drive. I wouldn't disclose anything specific other than "it's a two door and green" at this point.

If he gives you any other yellow flags, you might want to report the match to matchconcerns@eharmony.com.
 
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brokensmile76 is online now brokensmile76 Post #9  February 6,2012, 10:17pm
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I think that is very odd and superficial, even if he is a car buff and thinks he can tell a lot about a person by what they drive. It's just as bad as a guy asking you your weight and measurements right away. A guy will find out the details of your car when he meets you, it shouldn't be an attraction factor which is probably what this guy is using it as.
 
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eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #10  February 6,2012, 10:24pm
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The only guys who have ever asked me that were guys who worked in the automotive field, and it certainly wasn't their first question right out of the gate, it usually just came up in the course of conversation on a phone call.
 
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