Give it another try?

Anyway, his reason for ending it was that "it felt more like hanging out than dating". Yes, I was disappointed, but more puzzled. I thought we had fun together and things were getting serious.

So why do you think that he felt that way??
When he told you this, what did you respond with?

He said "it felt more like hanging out, than dating." I'm the one who felt disappointed and puzzled. After we talked, I texted him to say "I thought I was being more assertive than you." Which is true... but he reciprocated. We both made the effort to spend time together, in which we enjoyed each other's company. He didn't make it clear if he was seeing other people... but also didn't make it clear why it wasn't working with us.

After about a month of seeing this one guy, he called it quits all of a sudden. I really liked him and honestly thought it was heading in the right direction. WE have different schedules, but seemed to make every effort to see each other. I wasn't dating anyone else... not sure about him. Anyway, his reason for ending it was that "it felt more like hanging out than dating". Yes, I was disappointed, but more puzzled. I thought we had fun together and things were getting serious.

Now a month later and a few dates with other guys (not successful) I still find myself missing him. He is still on eharmony and active, and I really just want to email him to say "hey how are you". And possibly see if he wants to meet up and see if things pick up again. I just had a really good feeling about us and so did he... well I thought he did. So what would you suggest? Please advise.

I wouldn't be the one to make the first move in this case. I could be wrong but I get the feeling that you are hanging on to "what could have been" with him. You appear to be the one who was heading it into the more serious direction. There's nothing wrong with that, just that you and he were not a good fit. You had a good feeling about the two of you, but he obviously didn't, or he would not have bailed.

I have learned in my dating experiences that men usually take more time than women to get to the "serious" area. So, I have had to adjust my pace and slow things way down to where I think they are. I have found when I am more relaxed and "playing it cool" about things. It has seemed to work better that way.

And I have learned that I will not make so much more of an effort than the guy. I will put in the same as he does, or just a tiny bit more, but not more than that. If I am interested or not, I let him know. I've had the "where do you think this might be going?" conversation, to get an idea to gauge from, but I don't go into it expecting that after the one-month, two-month, or six-month mark that it "should" be at a certain place.

Unless he clarifies to you his definition of "hanging out", and explains to you what he sees as "dating", so that you are not confused, then I would not spend a whole lot of time thinking about him. Also, unless a guy makes it crystal clear to me that he is *not* seeing anyone else, I will always assume that he is.

After about a month of seeing this one guy, he called it quits all of a sudden.

his reason for ending it was that "it felt more like hanging out than dating".

He is still on eharmony and active