happy_me is offline happy_me Post #1  February 5,2012, 8:29pm
happy_me's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2011

Posts: 36

See profile

O.K. wise people on this board...esp. wiseman!

I'm 50

I've been pursued by a 36 year old for well over a year...very persistant. He text me every morning like clockwork and sporadically during the day and each night before he goes to sleep.

He has made his feeling known and keeps asking if I will ever say yes.

I haven't taken him seriously simply because of our age difference. He's incredibly built and although, I'm athletic it's not what it used to be. I did see the timeline that was posted of Elizabeth Taylor

I have asked repeatedly why he isn't interested in women his own age. He always comes back with the same answer. He only wants me. He can see us long-term.

You should know that we haven't been intimate nor have we kissed. We just seem to be able to communicate...no holds barred.

So, this brings me to my question. This weekend, after a long chat, I agreed to go out with him. Am I nuts or just being overly cautious (which is definitely me, I'm always cautious)?
 
  Reply With Quote
EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #2  February 5,2012, 8:41pm
EccentricAmbi…'s Avatar

"In her Sunday shoes, with her Saturday feet...."

Veteran

Joined: Oct 2011

In the clouds.

Posts: 1,173

See profile

happy_me wrote :
O.K. wise people on this board...esp. wiseman!

I'm 50

I've been pursued by a 36 year old for well over a year...very persistant. He text me every morning like clockwork and sporadically during the day and each night before he goes to sleep.

He has made his feeling known and keeps asking if I will ever say yes.

I haven't taken him seriously simply because of our age difference. He's incredibly built and although, I'm athletic it's not what it used to be. I did see the timeline that was posted of Elizabeth Taylor

I have asked repeatedly why he isn't interested in women his own age. He always comes back with the same answer. He only wants me. He can see us long-term.

You should know that we haven't been intimate nor have we kissed. We just seem to be able to communicate...no holds barred.

So, this brings me to my question. This weekend, after a long chat, I agreed to go out with him. Am I nuts or just being overly cautious (which is definitely me, I'm always cautious)?
I see nothing wrong with going out. My only thought is that its a been a year and it has been so built up in his mind that he may have over romanticized this whole thing. But going out and testing the waters might be worth it...stranger things have happened.
 
  Reply With Quote
happy_me is offline happy_me Post #3  February 6,2012, 3:00am
happy_me's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2011

Posts: 36

See profile

EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
I see nothing wrong with going out. My only thought is that its a been a year and it has been so built up in his mind that he may have over romanticized this whole thing. But going out and testing the waters might be worth it...stranger things have happened.
Agreed. We've discussed it. Still see-sawing over the idea...really don't want to waste too much time because someone elses feelings are involved.
 
  Reply With Quote
tangochef is offline tangochef Post #4  February 6,2012, 4:37am
tangochef's Avatar

is happy to be home.

Veteran

Joined: May 2011

Southern CA

Posts: 2,348

See profile

Based on your post he has sent you over a thousand texts that you have also responded. So, you are interested in him, otherwise why encourage him?

Should have gone out with him eleven months ago!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #5  February 6,2012, 5:51am
insertscreenn…'s Avatar

... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

Toronto, Canada

Posts: 3,409

See profile

Now you're worried about his feelings and you don't want to waste time? What about the past year?
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  February 6,2012, 8:23am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,286

See profile

This texting relationship has been a fun, regular part of your life for a year...in a fantasy sort of way... Meeting in person could change that...that's where the fear is...Good Luck...
Agree:
EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
I see nothing wrong with going out. My only thought is that its a been a year and it has been so built up in his mind that he may have over romanticized this whole thing. But going out and testing the waters might be worth it...stranger things have happened.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #7  February 6,2012, 5:06pm
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,402

See profile

Ah, go out, have a good time. Nothing wrong with that.
 
  Reply With Quote
notyet is offline notyet Post #8  February 7,2012, 10:32pm
notyet's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 5,276

See profile

if you like him and he likes you does anyone or anything else matter?
 
  Reply With Quote
LDJ is offline LDJ Post #9  February 8,2012, 7:29am
LDJ's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2010

Venus, apparently

Posts: 1,524

See profile

He is inspired by the challenge of the conquest. This will pass and he will find himself a nice 32 yr old girl shortly after. If you are up for a short fling of some fun and you are very secure in yourself, go for it, but beware, if you get emotionally invested you stand a high chance of getting very hurt.

I am 48 and have been in your shoes a few times, the answer is always no no and no. I'm not willing to take the risk, but that's just me.
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #10  February 8,2012, 7:56am
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

happy_me wrote :
So, this brings me to my question. This weekend, after a long chat, I agreed to go out with him. Am I nuts or just being overly cautious (which is definitely me, I'm always cautious)?
First, I wouldn't read too much into a long pursuit. If someone pursues you for a year, it's generally because they found the pursuit enjoyable!

Second, it's totally possible. The odds are longer than if you dated a sixty-year-old, but the rewards are better, too.

Third, this is a first date. Your feelings shouldn't be involved yet. Take getting emotionally attached slow, just as you would with anyone else you date. If you only do that which you enjoy with him, you'll have little to regret! I can't imagine you particularly dread being bought dinner by a guy fifteen years your junior who's in great shape. But if, for some crazy reason, the date doesn't sound like a good time then don't do it.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; February 8,2012 at 7:59am.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« New TV show about online dating!! | Ask a Dating Expert | Do folks with asbergers have a chance? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How many books did you read this year? eHA_Admin_Lori Books 23 January 2,2011 5:53pm
new year noexmarine Using eHarmony 1 December 21,2010 9:34pm
relationship for a year.... flgator Ask a Dating Expert 5 November 11,2009 10:36am
Today's my one year anniversary at eHarmony! :D eHA_Admin_Lori Chit Chat 10 November 5,2009 11:46am
What A Difference A Year Makes BuzWeaver Using eHarmony 8 July 4,2009 7:20pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ...90%????? I'd say it's more like 60 to 70 percent of women who say they offer to pay on the first and subsequent dates, and/or have no problem with going dutch. I'm in the pool of women who ... ” –  legend29

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“I think you were there when he was hurting, and she was there when he wanted fun. He chose fun as a long term partner. That's understandable. The posters who've said you might be a reminder of the ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“ I know exactly where you are coming from. I went in thinking "man, it is just an email. Fire off a response, yeah or nay. What is the big deal?" but the truth is a little more complicated. Plus, I ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “Guided Communication VS Email” discussion

“ I believe you and I got confused for a second. I didn't hit the Police officer. I hit the lady in front of me and then someone reported the accident and he came to check it out. That's how I met ... ” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“My bf just gave me advice about an adult child. I was in shock. He's never done that before. I didn't think he cared at all. The advice was really good too. It was supportive and I could see ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:40pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0