happy_me is offline happy_me Post #11  February 9,2012, 9:02am
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Now you're worried about his feelings and you don't want to waste time? What about the past year?
No feelings hurt...we've been friends.
 
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happy_me is offline happy_me Post #12  February 9,2012, 9:18am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
This texting relationship has been a fun, regular part of your life for a year...in a fantasy sort of way... Meeting in person could change that...that's where the fear is...Good Luck...
Agree:
I knew you would hit the nail on the head. I realized that is my fear! We are friends and taking our relationship to the next level...very scary indeed.

Actually, everyone had some great responses.

Here's my thought and yes, I have discussed it with him. Although, he's not too crazy about my answer. We'll remain friends and the conversations about a future relationship will cease.

It would be loads of fun to date him for however long it would last but I fear I would lose a great friend.

Thus, my reponse.

BTW, I love these boards though I have not always posted...they've saved my behind many of times!
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #13  February 9,2012, 6:42pm
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happy_me wrote :
...

It would be loads of fun to date him for however long it would last but I fear I would lose a great friend.

...
I am puzzled about this. How can one be great friends with someone without ever meeting them?
 
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VolGal is offline VolGal Post #14  February 9,2012, 6:48pm
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One word: COUGAR.

I'm 48. I have three children, two in college. Dating a guy who could be a post doctoral student: would not work with my children. If I were you, I'd be flattered...and look for someone my own age. He could be your son.

But, if you are interested in some interesting physical action, then, by all means, give him all of the experience he is looking for, and you both might have fun along the way...
 
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tink333 is online now tink333Advice Member-Moderator Post #15  February 9,2012, 8:33pm
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I'm usually the one here who always says that age is just a number, and that is usually how I feel. I sometimes feel as though I'm like the ambassador of older women with younger men. Up until recent years, a 14 year age difference with the woman being the older partner was fairly rare. Times are changing.

It couldn't hurt to go out with him and see what happens. See if you are compatible on more than a couple of sentences texted back and forth. You have nothing to lose if you walk in to this with your eyes wide open. I agree with those who have suggested he may have romanticized the whole thing in his head, and rarely does what one conjures up in one's mind ever live up to IRL.

For some people more than a 5 year age difference in either direction is too much. If you've read any of my posts, you know that I was married to a man +3 years (divorced), +20 (widowed), and now married to a man -10 years. Had you asked me a little over three years ago if I would consider dating someone more than 5 years younger, I would have vehemently replied 'No!' I do sometimes worry about our age difference - that someday he will wake up and think I look old (which he assures me will never happen).

When you add more than a 10 year difference, there is always the possibility that there will be generational communication gaps - the music and tv shows you grew up with will be different; it's possible your life views on various issues will be different, and that you each will be in a different life stage. Also, I think a huge factor in whether or not it has a chance of working is how much you two want to put into it. But, you have to get past the first date before you begin thinking about that.

Decide if you two are attracted to each other - he says he is to you, but you should spend a little time together to find out if there is more than a spark. And if you both are, then make sure you're on the same page about your goals. There are some things that basic biology will prohibit - like if he wants kids and you're done with that biologically.

I hope you both enjoy the date, and I hope it provides you some insight as to whether it has a chance to become an LTR or if it will be a casual fling.
 
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happy_me is offline happy_me Post #16  February 11,2012, 4:10pm
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tink333 wrote :
I'm usually the one here who always says that age is just a number, and that is usually how I feel. I sometimes feel as though I'm like the ambassador of older women with younger men. Up until recent years, a 14 year age difference with the woman being the older partner was fairly rare. Times are changing.

It couldn't hurt to go out with him and see what happens. See if you are compatible on more than a couple of sentences texted back and forth. You have nothing to lose if you walk in to this with your eyes wide open. I agree with those who have suggested he may have romanticized the whole thing in his head, and rarely does what one conjures up in one's mind ever live up to IRL.

For some people more than a 5 year age difference in either direction is too much. If you've read any of my posts, you know that I was married to a man +3 years (divorced), +20 (widowed), and now married to a man -10 years. Had you asked me a little over three years ago if I would consider dating someone more than 5 years younger, I would have vehemently replied 'No!' I do sometimes worry about our age difference - that someday he will wake up and think I look old (which he assures me will never happen).

When you add more than a 10 year difference, there is always the possibility that there will be generational communication gaps - the music and tv shows you grew up with will be different; it's possible your life views on various issues will be different, and that you each will be in a different life stage. Also, I think a huge factor in whether or not it has a chance of working is how much you two want to put into it. But, you have to get past the first date before you begin thinking about that.

Decide if you two are attracted to each other - he says he is to you, but you should spend a little time together to find out if there is more than a spark. And if you both are, then make sure you're on the same page about your goals. There are some things that basic biology will prohibit - like if he wants kids and you're done with that biologically.

I hope you both enjoy the date, and I hope it provides you some insight as to whether it has a chance to become an LTR or if it will be a casual fling.
Wow, what an interesting story. I did decided not to date the younger man mostly because we've been friends for quite sometime. I have known him for over 5 years. He divorced 2 years ago which started the communication between us. This past year he has been in hot pursuit...very flattering but I like being friends with him. I've also been in OC with a 62 year old gentleman. He's retired and am actually quite excited about meeting him although I'm the instigator in this instance. We'll see what life has in store for me.

I appreciate the feed back and sharing what you've been through. Is there any way to chat off the boards?
 
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