myusernamehere is offline myusernamehere Post #1  February 5,2012, 8:19am
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My friend has asbergers and he wanted me to ask if it was possible for him to be successful in the dating world or is it hopeless?
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #2  February 5,2012, 9:44am
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Lots of people who has Aspergers, or ASD (autism spectrum disorder) are successful with dating. For people with it, many things require extra effort once they are trained in coping with their issues related to noting social ques, focusing and anxiety.

Provided they have adopted healthy coping skills for this, they will be successful with relationships of all sorts. It would be wise to share with potential partners what their specific challenges are so that a partner can aid in the development of the relationship rather than expect perceptions from an Asperger's person that they are not good with.

ASD is a spectrum disorder. The spectrum when it comes to measuring social skills has extremes, all people fall somewhere on that spectrum, some people are adept and gifted in this way and some people even not diagnosed with Aspergers find in very challenging. Aspergers is a highly functioning form of autism, with support from a psychologist it is not life or relationship inhibiting.
 
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Holiday_HH is offline Holiday_HH Post #3  February 5,2012, 11:37am
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myusernamehere wrote :
My friend has asbergers and he wanted me to ask if it was possible for him to be successful in the dating world or is it hopeless?
My best friend has Asbergers syndrome an he had been happily married for four years. He and his wife did see a counsellor that specializes in Asbergers when they started dating so that his wife would be aware of some of the issues and conflicts that may arise due to the syndrome so that she (and they together) would be better equipped to deal with these issues together.
 
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Shelaw is offline Shelaw Post #4  February 5,2012, 3:33pm
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My 21 year old son is an Aspie. He also has several other "disabilities" including a rapidly progressing neuromuscular disease that will ultimatley rob him of the use of his legs. BUT the kid is a lady magnet! The ladies love this young man like nothing I've seen. LOL Because Aspie's have such a hard time in social situations, my son "compensated" by becoming extraordinarily outgoing. He is a "character" in the sense that he stands out from the crowd, much the way celebrities do to try to make a name for themselves.

My son does not tell a girl that he is an Aspie until or unless the situation calls for it. Translation: When the relationship becomes intimate, he tells her. The only exception to that, I guess, is if she happens to be around at a time that he is struggling with a potential rage or similar concern. Then, of course, he tells her what's what. Not once has a girl rejected him for it. And, most often, a girl who is truly interested in him will come to me to ask me to help her learn how to best communicate with him, deal with his issues, etc.

Bottom line: Yes, your friend not only should hope to find love, he should count on it. Like any person looking for love, it's all about finding the right person. An Aspie should look for a woman who is kind, compassionate, and patient. A girl who is selfish, who lacks the ability to empathize, or who struggles with patience will never be a good fit with an Aspie.
 
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boomer_gal is offline boomer_gal Post #5  February 5,2012, 10:41pm
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Perhaps the problem is not your friend's disorder, but his negative attitude towards women.
 
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myusernamehere is offline myusernamehere Post #6  February 11,2012, 3:56pm
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Thank you, my friends. You are very wise.
 
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Goomph is online now Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  February 11,2012, 4:56pm
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You know you can do MUCH better than this ... All you need to do is make up your mind and start doing it. Little by little, step by step. I would love to see you leave this behind you. And you CAN do it !

myusernamehere wrote :
Thank you, my friends. You are very wise.
 
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