end of a perfect relationship ....and i don't know why


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annika-lee is offline annika-lee Post #31  February 3,2012, 5:09pm
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I have a similar situation happening and can definitely empathize with you. My boyfriend and I have been together two years and it has been a perfect relationship, until now. He has been my "prince charming" wooing me all along. A perfect gentleman always. Until a change this month. We have not broken up but he is distancing himself so much that he has all but disappeared. He too is having ex and child-related issues. Issues I have known about for two years but some how they never factored into our relationship until now. He is now going weeks without contacting me and making absolutely no plan to get together. I have reached out, offered my support, but getting nothing in return. After two years, I seriously think he will just disappear. Funny thing is that a woman he was seeing prior to me "suddenly, out of the blue" just disappeared on him and he talked once about what an awful thing to do to someone. So how could he now treat me in the same manner! I can understand that family is his priority and would agree to put our relationship on the back burner but I am getting nothing from him. I just cannot imagine completing shutting out, and causing so much concern, to someone I love and care about. By the way, we never had any conflict or argument ever in two years.

So I can understand what you are feeling. You are confused, hurt, upset, angry that someone who was once so kind and caring towards you can now act so differently. You are probably wondering, as I am, if this person ever cared at all. I am your age and have had my share of relationships as well and, like you, no one has ever made me feel so loved and cherished like this guy. Go figure! My advice to you is to accept it for what it is and move forward. A friend said this to me last night and it helped " when people can walk away from you, let them walk. Don't ever try to talk a person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you. Your destiny is never tied to anyone that left. Their part of your story is over." I have been repeating this to myself. You will survive this - keep marching forward. I am sorry you are hurt, let your heart heal (it will), forget him (he doesn't deserve your thoughts now), and hold your head high.
 
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brokensmile76 is online now brokensmile76 Post #32  February 3,2012, 6:21pm
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I think what happened here is that the relationship did in fact took off too quickly for him! Even though he was really enjoying being with you and being a part of your life, he may have been conflicted all along about the relationship and that mis-type was just the excuse he was looking for to jump out. he may have seen red flags in the relationship and thought he could over look them and then eventually decided, a relationship with you wasn't what he wanted.

When my last relationship ended, I admit, I spied on my ex to see if he was actively on the dating site we had met on and sure enough; about 2 days later he was. Your guy may have already emotionally been over the relationship and that's why he was ready to move on.

By the way, my ex did the same thing. He took our very first mis-understanding and made it the reason for the break-up. It took me awhile to perceive that the mis-understanding was just his perfect excuse to end things. Like your mis-text, our mis-understanding was not a big deal but he snow balled it to a bigger deal.

Guard your heart and slow down with the next guy you enter a relationship. Don't get caught up in making future plans with him from the get-go.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #33  February 3,2012, 11:43pm
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Tipitina wrote :
I'm really sorry that this happened to you, Tiffany. It's truly sad when someone you thought so much of behaves so poorly.

However, through this episode, you learned something very important about this man: he doesn't handle problems, conflicts or misunderstandings in a mature manner. It's troubling that he either blows up about minor things or doesn't have the guts to talk to you about what is really behind his wanting to break up. In a healthy relationship, both parties will want to work to overcome problems rather than running away at the first sign of trouble.

Again, I'm really sorry you got hurt, but I think you dodged a bullet. It would have been awful if you'd married him and this was the way he dealt with things. Give yourself some time to heal, and don't try to figure him out. It's not worth it.
I so agree with Tipitina.

First I am so sorry that this happened to you. It makes no sense that someone would break up with anyone over a mis-communication during texting. If that is his real reason for breaking things off then he sounds pretty immature. It sounds like maybe he felt things moved too quickly and then when he saw a way out (although it doesn't seem really legitimate), he took it. Or, since he's already on e-harmony trying to meet people - he just decided he wanted other options.

I know it hurts and in time your pain will heal, but imagine if you invested more time with this man and developed even deeper feelings for him....consider yourself lucky that you found out relatively quickly and he didn't string you along and then break things off.

I wish you well.
 
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