Long Distance Guy...is he really interested?


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boomer_gal is offline boomer_gal Post #21  February 4,2012, 10:48am
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If your intent is to establish a LDR with this man, you will need to figure out what is the minimum amount of face to face time that you will require to sustain the relationship. Then you need to plug in the numbers for what this will cost. Can you afford to pursue the relationship? If so, then you need to be looking at some sort of regular schedule of seeing each other. You plan ahead so that when you say goodbye you already know when you will be saying hello again. At least for me, that is the only way an LDR could work out.
 
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Kuite09 is offline Kuite09 Post #22  February 6,2012, 6:08am
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D_Lion wrote :
I do think you should address exclusivity (if it is something you care about; for me, I have too much fear to accept a non-exclusive partner.)

After that, the next discussion I would have is around what steps you will take and when, to relocate. (Things like whether you're both looking for a job in the other community; whether either of you could / would move without a job, what that means for your economics, etc.)

It's possible he's interested and exclusive. Long distance is frustratingly difficult, especially for busy people.

In this case, with his odd housing, I'd see him as a fool to spend on a distance relationship before attaining sole occupancy housing. For this reason, I'd say you're better off exiting.
Why is his housing situtation odd? He live with his brother in NJ, they are just 2 yrs apart and they been living in NJ due to their jobs when their entire family lives in NY. This man has a good job and a good head on his shoulders, what does his housing have anything to do with it?
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is online now SteveManchesterEngland Post #23  February 6,2012, 12:05pm
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In my opinion.

It's odd because he doesn't have his own place but can fund the expense of hotels for you.

It's odd because he didn't feel it appropriate to allow you to see the inside of it.


I've met one woman who was like this a few years back on a site which claimed to be about 'making friends'.

She shared a flat with a man. When inviting men to come and see her she told me she'd book them into a near by hotel (at her expense) and she said she wouldn't invite men back to her flat because she wanted privacy so instead she'd rather pay the expense of a hotel. I would've been suspicious if I'd wanted to form a relationship with her!
 
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