Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #21  February 3,2012, 3:15am
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If he constantly needs time too "cool off"...and this is and on /off , no less long distance relationship...why put so much effort into it?
Someone who needs this much time to "cool off" or "need space" obviously has a life outside you and no emotional controls in place...

Staging fights is often a way to make a break....or buy time to explore other (local) options.

Better to let this be the blessing that he's gone...Good Luck...
fugufish wrote :
The no communication is actually not 2 months, only 10 days. But it was 2 months of on and off fights and make up. It's not normal I know.

I'm trying to work things out and also giving him some time to cool down.
 
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fugufish is offline fugufish Post #22  February 16,2012, 8:33pm
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To update the status of my relationship problems. We started talking again and we're trying to work things out. We haven't fought yet so let's hope we can keep things up like this. We're trying to see when would be a good time we can meet in person again. Wish us luck!
 
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dovegirl is online now dovegirl — Advice Member-Moderator Post #23  February 17,2012, 4:02am
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fugufish wrote :
To update the status of my relationship problems. We started talking again and we're trying to work things out. We haven't fought yet so let's hope we can keep things up like this. We're trying to see when would be a good time we can meet in person again. Wish us luck!
I do sincerely wish you good luck, but with that I'd like to issue some warnings.

In any relationship communication is extremely important. I'd go so far as to say it is THE most important factor in any happy relationship. And in a long distance relationship, you can take that importance and increase it at least 10X. Because between the times you can see each other, it is the only thing you have to keep that connection.

From your posts, neither of you has shown a history of good communication with the other. Instead, it's been a lot of "cooling off" and "waiting" and other game playing. In my opinion, this is the thing that needs to change if you want things to succeed with your boyfriend.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #24  February 17,2012, 4:43am
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I agree with Dovegirl. While he may have "cooled off" from his latest tantrum and excursions....This is a roller coaster, not a relationship that is going anywhere...As you state...no tantrums and subsequent absences.....yet....

Some food for thought: long distance combined with frequent incommunicado (including "staging fights" to disappear) are often a sign of concurrent relationships.....Good Luck....
fugufish wrote :
We started talking again
We haven't fought yet
 
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