malacai777 is offline malacai777 Post #1  January 30,2012, 2:19pm
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Hi Folks,

I recently visited a girl that I met on eHarmony (we live in different states). We communicated through guided communication, email, phone calls and texting for about a month and decided that the time was right for us to meet in person. Overall, things seemed to go well, as we enjoyed being with each other and got along great.

However, there are two incidents that are puzzling. Firstly, we were at her apartment watching TV. Her cat came bounding up and she kissed him on the head. She then said to her pet, "You're the number one man in my life." This left me a bit floored... and I said, "That makes me feel special." She didn't say anything in response.

Secondly, the impetus for this post... I just finished calling her. We parted ways on Saturday afternoon and have not talked until today (I lost my phone in her state and just got it back). She seemed somewhat quiet... and said she was having a "lazy day". I told her I missed her, and her reply was, "You haven't been gone THAT long."

Are these minor incidents that I'm over analyzing? Am I being overly sensitive? Or are there some red flags here? Thanks for your time, as I'm mystified and honestly a bit disappointed....

Best regards,

Mal
 
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nv1983 is offline nv1983 Post #2  January 30,2012, 2:56pm
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malacai777 wrote :
Are these minor incidents that I'm over analyzing? Am I being overly sensitive? Or are there some red flags here? Thanks for your time, as I'm mystified and honestly a bit disappointed....
Yes, yes, and yes, there are red flags, coming from your end. As for the cat thing, it's the kind of innocuous statement that people make to their pets all the time. You may think it's weird, but what's more telling is that you'd be jealous of a household animal. As an example, I have a cat. Sometimes, I pick him up and call him my "best buddy." When my actual best friend is over watching the game with me, does he get upset that I said that? No.


As for the "miss you" thing - you guys just started dating and it was, what, 2 days from when you saw eachother? She's right, you haven't been gone that long, and you haven't been dating long enough to really be building that "miss you" feeling in such a short period of time.
Last edited by nv1983; January 30,2012 at 2:58pm.
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #3  January 30,2012, 2:59pm
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malacai777 wrote :
Hi Folks,

I recently visited a girl that I met on eHarmony (we live in different states). We communicated through guided communication, email, phone calls and texting for about a month and decided that the time was right for us to meet in person. Overall, things seemed to go well, as we enjoyed being with each other and got along great.

However, there are two incidents that are puzzling. Firstly, we were at her apartment watching TV. Her cat came bounding up and she kissed him on the head. She then said to her pet, "You're the number one man in my life." This left me a bit floored... and I said, "That makes me feel special." She didn't say anything in response.

Secondly, the impetus for this post... I just finished calling her. We parted ways on Saturday afternoon and have not talked until today (I lost my phone in her state and just got it back). She seemed somewhat quiet... and said she was having a "lazy day". I told her I missed her, and her reply was, "You haven't been gone THAT long."

Are these minor incidents that I'm over analyzing? Am I being overly sensitive? Or are there some red flags here? Thanks for your time, as I'm mystified and honestly a bit disappointed....

Best regards,

Mal
Oh my gosh...are you seriously saying that you are jealous over a cat????

Come on....what she said was just a lighthearted comment... a joke...

And again...the other comment is both a bit of a joke but also trying to say "back off guy....we only just met" As in you are sounding incredibly needy to a woman with whom you have seen in person how many times? A few days?

Just because you all communicated before meeting....dating someone really doesn't start until you meet in person.

If you don't get a hold of your insecurities and neediness pronto....you are going to scare away this woman as well as others...

Sorry to be so blunt...but I'm just shocked that someone could take such a harmless comment about a cat and get freaked out!
Last edited by Ingytravel; January 30,2012 at 3:06pm.
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #4  January 30,2012, 3:04pm
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How old are you? I have to agree with the above posters. Her comment about the cat should have enticed perhaps a little fun bantor back and forth between the two of you at best. You said she was silent after you said "That makes me feel special" and I can guarantee you that you are lucky she didn't actually say what she was thinking. And by telling her you miss her she's probably rolling her eyes at that comment. Lighten up and try to prevent yourself from becoming needy, clingy or possessive in relationships...no one likes to deal with that its suffocating.
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #5  January 30,2012, 3:45pm
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Yep, agree with others. If I were in her shoes I'd next you. The whole thing shows that you are insecure, and quick to cling to someone.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is online now SteveManchesterEngland Post #6  January 30,2012, 3:49pm
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she kissed her cat? yuck!
 
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myusernamehere is offline myusernamehere Post #7  January 30,2012, 5:03pm
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This isn't surprising. Women see men as simply an accessory.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #8  January 30,2012, 5:45pm
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Mal, did you pet her cat? Or try to make friends with it? Maybe play with it a little to see if it liked you? I hear women watch for that stuff as it can be indicative of other traits you possess. Just sayin'!
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #9  January 30,2012, 5:48pm
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insertscreenname wrote :
Mal, did you pet her cat? Or try to make friends with it? Maybe play with it a little to see if it liked you? I hear women watch for that stuff as it can be indicative of other traits you possess. Just sayin'!
Me-ow!
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #10  January 30,2012, 6:05pm
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
Me-ow!
Here kitty kitty!

I am actually being serious, as well as cheeky.

"Animal" people will always look at how you interact with their pets and judge you accordingly. It's only natural. And I think such glimpses for the pet owner into a date's personality will reveal things the date may not realize they are expressing.
 
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