Vanillasky is offline Vanillasky Post #31  January 31,2012, 1:52pm
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malacai777 wrote :
I recently visited a girl that I met on eHarmony (we live in different states).

However, there are two incidents that are puzzling. Firstly, we were at her apartment watching TV. Her cat came bounding up and she kissed him on the head.

I just finished calling her. I told her I missed her, and her reply was, "You haven't been gone THAT long."
The girl's got no game! After she kissed Mr. Fluffy on the head she should have kissed her date on the head as well. And, when a guy says he misses you, you purr back in the phone, "I miss you too, Tigerrrrrr."

I'm sure she kisses her kitty and says she misses him when she's been gone for 10 minutes.
 
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Mike74 is offline Mike74 Post #32  January 31,2012, 5:11pm
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harnomygirl wrote :
It's not an odd thing for her to say. It's a cat and it's her pet. People say things like that to plants if that's all they have. As other posters have implied, they stop when they find a person who sticks around.
I'm sorry, but if a woman starts kissing and saying sweet nothings to a plant, I'm outta there!!
 
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Goomph is online now Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #33  January 31,2012, 5:22pm
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I wouldn't look at it as being second fiddle to a cat ....

I think she was a making a point to the OP when she kissed the cat and said you are the number one man in my life. When a relationship is just starting, one is usually very careful of what they say. And her lack of response to what the OP said is a confirmation that she meant it. It was a message in my opinion.

As for the you haven't been gone THAT long, is the verification that she is not into him, at least not as much as he is into her.

If it wasn't a message on purpose, then they are not a compatible/good match, because then she comes across as inconsiderate of the feelings of the OP and OP is a sensitive person.

That is how I read this. Of course it is just my humble opinion.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #34  January 31,2012, 5:28pm
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Mike74 wrote :
I'm sorry, but if a woman starts kissing and saying sweet nothings to a plant, I'm outta there!!
I generally run across men who do it, but it's supposed to be good to talk to your plants. Apparently, they appreciate both music and vocal expressions of love.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #35  January 31,2012, 6:22pm
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I kill plants. Then I say mean things to them because they hurt my feelings by dying.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #36  January 31,2012, 6:56pm
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malacai777 wrote :
The consensus in these posts seems to be that I'm being overly "clingy" (which I can admit) and that she's not warming up to me. Point taken, I'll give her space and keep looking....
Congrats, and I mean this in all sincerity, for being one of the few people here who actually accept the advice for which they ask, even when it's not what they want to hear. It sounds like you're willing to honestly assess yourself and your situations, which is going to lead to more success with women overall, I think.

malacai777 wrote :
She said that she waits for the guy to "make the move and pursue her" rather than take the initiative herself. It's probably best to proceed on the assumption that I won't be hearing back from her... at least I tried....
Her saying that would raise a flag for me. If she's not willing to do her part in indicating her level of interest, it leaves you guessing how much to pursue, which leads to you coming across as either too overbearing and clingy (as happened here) or too aloof and "not that into her" if you err in the other direction. It's all too gamey for me. I prefer women who communicate directly and pursue what they want (in dating and in life) rather than waiting to be pursued.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #37  January 31,2012, 6:59pm
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harnomygirl wrote :
It's not an odd thing for her to say. It's a cat and it's her pet. People say things like that to plants if that's all they have.
I would consider it even more odd if she said it to a plant. In fact, I'd question her sanity. Saying it to an animal is tolerable but still qualifies as odd to me. Sorry; I guess I'm just more into relationships with people.
 
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