any thoughts on this situation?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
sfsurfgirl is offline sfsurfgirl Post #1  January 29,2012, 8:48pm
sfsurfgirl's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

Posts: 3

See profile

My first experience with eharmony was amazing.. for a couple of weeks. Now the guy I met has me a little confused.

We went out 3 times and everything was going really well. We liked each other, have a lot in common, get along great, etc. He is far more communicative than guys I have dated in the past and I was very excited about getting to know him more. We had been talking every day until last week when we had plans and he had to cancel at the last minute. We are both very busy with our careers and he had some extra projects to work on this past weekend. I understand that things happen and I will totally give him the benefit of the doubt.

The last phone conversation we had was the night before we were supposed to go out and he told me something very personal, that he had been hesitant to tell me about himself. I was glad that he was able to confide in me and it seemed like a good sign that he wanted to get that off his chest to move forward. The conversation ended on a positive note.

The night he had to cancel was the night before his trip which would take up his weekend. He was supposed to call and didn't, which is unusual. I decided not to call him instead and give him some space. That was 3 days ago and I still haven't heard from him..

My question is, should I call him or wait for him to call?
 
  Reply With Quote
biking_girl is offline biking_girl Post #2  January 29,2012, 9:22pm
biking_girl's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2011

Southern California

Posts: 418

See profile

Can you send him email?
 
  Reply With Quote
sfsurfgirl is offline sfsurfgirl Post #3  January 29,2012, 9:28pm
sfsurfgirl's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

Posts: 3

See profile

I could, but we were past that point so would that be too impersonal?
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  January 30,2012, 2:45am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,286

See profile

Whatever this "personal information" was may have been a way out, as well as the last minute cancellation, sudden weekend trip and no communication since.
He may have gone back to an ex , met someone else...Hard to tell after 3 dates...Good Luck..
sfsurfgirl wrote :
We went out 3 times

We had been talking every day until last week when we had plans and he had to cancel at the last minute.

The last phone conversation we had was the night before we were supposed to go out and he told me something very personal, that he had been hesitant to tell me about himself.


He was supposed to call and didn't, which is unusual
 
  Reply With Quote
jov27 is offline jov27 Post #5  January 30,2012, 4:36am
jov27's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2010

IL

Posts: 364

See profile

After 3 dates and phone calls, if someone was supposed to call and didn't, I'd call the next day or two. If he didn't pick up I'd leave a message. "Just checking in, I hope your week is going well." If I didn't hear back, then I'd figure it's over. If he took more than a couple of days to call or at least email back, unless there was a great reason, I'd figure he had lost the intensity of interest.

Now this doesn't mean that I'd expect all guys to want to talk on the phone every day at the 3 date stage. I actually might not myself. I have long days. And he might not be able to in normal circumstances. But anytime there's a shift in communication it 'might' mean something. I certainly wouldn't ever feel that he had to do all the initiating at the 3 date mark, although I still want to feel that he's interested and engaged.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  January 30,2012, 6:15am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,744

See profile

Just call him. First of he was out of town so it makes sense he hasn't called you. Second, he might be accustomed to being rejected over whatever it is he revealed to you even if initially women say they are fine with it, so he may be waiting for you to reach out and confirm you are still interested. Either way, what's the big deal about a simple phone call? The worst that can happen is he won't return it and what's that going to do for you besides nothing much.
 
  Reply With Quote
KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #7  January 30,2012, 7:47am
KikiAZ's Avatar

posting from the 6th largest city in America

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2011

Posts: 1,648

See profile

It's normal to be skittish after sharing very personal info.

In these circs, I'd call and do a "just checking in" ...
 
  Reply With Quote
insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #8  January 30,2012, 8:03am
insertscreenn…'s Avatar

... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

Toronto, Canada

Posts: 3,409

See profile

I agree with DF and Kiki. Give him a "checking in" call to touch base. No harm. If he ignores that, you know he's not interested.
 
  Reply With Quote
jimmyh452 is online now jimmyh452 Post #9  January 30,2012, 11:53am
jimmyh452's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2011

Bean Town

Posts: 1,510

See profile

Call him and find out...don't email him that's lame.
 
  Reply With Quote
brokensmile76 is online now brokensmile76 Post #10  January 30,2012, 11:53am
brokensmile76's Avatar

...the greatest above these things is love.

Enthusiast

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 617

See profile

Just checking in call gets my vote. If he doesn't respond within a day, I'd write him off.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Fourth date sex???! | Ask a Dating Expert | How to relate to women? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Complicated Situation Mike74 Dating 78 July 3,2011 4:22pm
Weird text message exchange with a match...love thoughts boschimsp Dating 26 November 19,2010 10:53am
Any thoughts on this situation??? driver2010 Relationships 59 May 31,2010 4:58pm
Never had this kind of situation... Help! Djiin Dating 14 May 21,2009 5:46pm
Not my kind of situation.. but I like her!?!?! Djiin Dating 1 May 19,2009 5:41pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ...90%????? I'd say it's more like 60 to 70 percent of women who say they offer to pay on the first and subsequent dates, and/or have no problem with going dutch. I'm in the pool of women who ... ” –  legend29

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“I think you were there when he was hurting, and she was there when he wanted fun. He chose fun as a long term partner. That's understandable. The posters who've said you might be a reminder of the ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“ I know exactly where you are coming from. I went in thinking "man, it is just an email. Fire off a response, yeah or nay. What is the big deal?" but the truth is a little more complicated. Plus, I ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “Guided Communication VS Email” discussion

“ I believe you and I got confused for a second. I didn't hit the Police officer. I hit the lady in front of me and then someone reported the accident and he came to check it out. That's how I met ... ” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“My bf just gave me advice about an adult child. I was in shock. He's never done that before. I didn't think he cared at all. The advice was really good too. It was supportive and I could see ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:17pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0