ayu_cool is offline ayu_cool Post #1  January 28,2012, 6:31am
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hi.
i'm from raipur, india.
i like a girl in my college,we've been studying in the same batch for like 3 years.
i always restrained from asking her out, because i used to hear that she was committed and also because my friend's girlfriend is her room-mate.
so anything i do or any move i make on my side would have been the hottest topic in college the next day.
so all i wanted to ask was am i too late to ask her out??
i mean we've been studying together for 3 years, i flirt and complement her whenever i can, i help her out sometimes in presentations and stuff.
please reply fast.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #2  January 28,2012, 7:06am
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It's not entirely too late. A pair of friends of mine started dating after knowing one another for 3 years in college. During that time they were friends, but not super close. For example they lived in the same building and took some of the same classes but weren't around each other 24/7 and only occasionally socialized and when they did it was a group of people.

In your case it depends on whether she considers you a close friend or not. If so she probably won't want to risk the frienship and she may have put you in the friend zone by now. Depends on how she's reacted to your flirtations and etc in the past. I wouldn't care what her room mate or friends think if you ask her out. If you like her - go for it dude - otherwise you're going to live your life wondering 'what if'. If you know she's not in a relationship now, I would ask her out on a date. Make sure she knows its a date and not ''hanging out''. Be decisive. Be confident. She apparently already knows you from your years in school so you don't have the 'getting to know you' stage like a lot of people. If she says 'no' then move on, which will suck but at least you'll know. Good luck!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  January 28,2012, 11:59am
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If she is currently single (not dating anyone), I'd say it's fine to express your interest.

I would not have been dissuaded by the room mate issue, but I also would not have approached a person who I thought to be unavailable.

She'll probably say no, but you can't wait for her to ask you, now can you?
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  January 28,2012, 12:03pm
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Why not? Suggest getting together for some activity or refreshment...Good luck
 
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ayu_cool is offline ayu_cool Post #5  January 28,2012, 8:09pm
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we've been to party and stuff.
i invited her whole group of friends on my birthday party so that she doesnt feel uncomfortable.
once on a college tour i went to shopping with her,i picked out a jacket for her and she helped me pick some clothes for my sister.
@MileHighArtist i am kind of sure i am not in the close friend zone.
so if i do ask her out i dont think that she'll give me the "not ruin the friendship" reason to say no to me.
and how should i ask her out??
i must admit i am pretty bad at this stuff.
if i dont know what to say then i start blabbering random stuff and i dont want to make a bad impression while asking her out.
Last edited by ayu_cool; January 28,2012 at 8:14pm.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #6  January 28,2012, 9:20pm
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ayu_cool wrote :
and how should i ask her out??
i must admit i am pretty bad at this stuff.
if i dont know what to say then i start blabbering random stuff and i dont want to make a bad impression while asking her out.
Women like self confidence so have something specific in mind such as dinner or an activity based on common interests/hobbies. If you go in fumbling with nothing specific and 'I don't know' she may lose interest. Having a specific idea in mind for the date should help you avoid 'blabbering'. Suggest a day/time for the date but remain flexable about it. I would say something like, 'I'd like to take you out to dinner Friday night,'' or if you're doing some activity date, 'Have you ever gone hiking at such and such park? We should go Saturday, it's a lot of fun'

Those are just examples but hopefuly give you some idea.

Good luck!
 
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tink333 is online now tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  January 29,2012, 4:21am
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Yes, I agree with MileHigh that you should ask her out with something specific. It will make it easier for you to converse if you have a specific date in mind. I agree you should start out with asking her for a certain day and state what you would like to do - dinner, movie, hiking, just make sure you have a plan and a backup plan.

Her response will indicate if she's available and interested. If she says she's not available Friday but is available Saturday, then pick up on that cue and suggest getting together Saturday. If she says she doesn't know when she is available and becomes awkward about it, she might not be that interested.

Good luck - I hope she says yes.
 
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tink333 is online now tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  January 29,2012, 4:22am
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Yes, I agree with MileHigh that you should ask her out with something specific. It will make it easier for you to converse if you have a specific date in mind. I agree you should start out with asking her for a certain day and state what you would like to do - dinner, movie, hiking, just make sure you have a plan and a backup plan.

Her response will indicate if she's available and interested. If she says she's not available Friday but is available Saturday, then pick up on that cue and suggest getting together Saturday. If she says she doesn't know when she is available and becomes awkward about it, she might not be that interested.

Good luck - I hope she says yes.
 
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