tink333 is online now tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #11  January 25,2012, 4:47am
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up late....again.

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@BikerBeagle, I'm not getting what the OP expects from us. There's no magic wand to erase what he doesn't want to see, and worse yet, she may not really have put this behind her. I'm in the boat with you on this one.
-Tink
 
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jimmyh452 is online now jimmyh452 Post #12  January 25,2012, 6:20am
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PabloConfused wrote :
Something went wrong with the formatting when I hit "submit" and I couldn't edit it at first, but I've taken care of it now.
cool beans...and I don't mean to be a jerk...my eyes aren't awesome so it's hard to read a long single spaced post...now I'll read it and get back if I have anything valuable to add
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #13  January 25,2012, 8:27am
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tink333 wrote :
Did you read the second paragraph of the OP's post?
Yeah, I read it. It was all just acting.

PabloConfused wrote :

From the DearCupid quote:
"Simple easy logic.

This type of syllogistic logic precludes motivation and context. Simply because these behaviours universally constitute sexual behaviour.

This same logic cannot be applied when playing the role of murderer who stabs his victims simply because the actor is not "actually" stabbing his colleagues."
That self-serving 'logic' isn't making sense. How can acting about having sex and acting about committing murder be applied differently? That article is as meritorious as some of the countless others on the internet. What....because it's on the internet, it must be true? Pfft.

And even if that argument did hold water, like BikerBeagle said, the issue is yours, not hers. Therefore it's probably best that you just move on and try to find someone compatible. Good luck.
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #14  January 25,2012, 2:41pm
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Nearly everyone you meet and start dating has probably had sex with someone else before you.

Unless she was a full on sex worker or porn star, I would chalk this up to the sexy play as being "just business" and weight it with the rest of the relationship
 
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PabloConfused is offline PabloConfused Post #15  January 25,2012, 5:31pm
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Thanks for the replies, everyone. Between reading your replies and giving things some more thought, I get that this is a personal, individual issue that I myself have to decide whether or not I want to get over when weighed against the rest of the relationship. Thanks for the advice, everyone.
 
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Emmyjoy is online now Emmyjoy Post #16  January 25,2012, 5:53pm
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In short answer, dude...you're 22. And I'm guessing that she is around your age. When you are 22 nothing is really "behind you" so to speak. At 33, this wouldn't really bother me much. People tend to mellow about youthful indiscretions as we age. We accept the fact that our partners made choices as young adults that do not represents who they are as fully actualized adults.

So...either you have the emotional maturity (and I don't say this flippantly...I'm not sure if I would have been in that place at 22) to accept her past and move on, or you don't. Simple as that.
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #17  January 25,2012, 7:27pm
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I agree with above poster. I probably wouldnt have been able to get past it at 22 but over the past 8 years my life experiences have broadened my perspective. However, the only red flag I see is her sudden decision to become religous. Its a little concerning to me when I see people go from one extreme to another. There seems to be some identity issues and. I would suspect 5-10 years from now she will have developed and changed in other extreme ways.
 
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