EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #1  January 16,2012, 9:25am
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Would most find It concerning for the longest relationship a 37 year old man having ever been in being: 2 years??? Then a couple 1 year relationships?? Its just seems a bit concerning.
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #2  January 16,2012, 9:30am
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
Would most find It concerning for the longest relationship a 37 year old man having ever been in being: 2 years??? Then a couple 1 year relationships?? Its just seems a bit concerning.
So the issue for you is that he never married?

I think it's perfectly normal to have 1 or 2 year relationships and then that is usually the deciding point on whether you feel you have enough to move forward to marriage.

I would be concerned if he said he's never been in love...or had multiple marriages/divorces...or only had a long string of 3 month relationships...or moving in with multiple women but never getting engaged or married.

But that's just me..
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #3  January 16,2012, 9:44am
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Ingytravel wrote :
So the issue for you is that he never married?

I think it's perfectly normal to have 1 or 2 year relationships and then that is usually the deciding point on whether you feel you have enough to move forward to marriage.

I would be concerned if he said he's never been in love...or had multiple marriages/divorces...or only had a long string of 3 month relationships...or moving in with multiple women but never getting engaged or married.

But that's just me..
I dont care that hes never been married. It just seems by 37 there would be some type of longer term thing under his belt?
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #4  January 16,2012, 9:49am
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I wouldn't consider that a red flag. Now, take the 50+ man that I talked to last summer who said he was NEVER in a relationship. That to me was a red flag.
 
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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #5  January 16,2012, 10:01am
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I'd red flag it only because whats going to make you so different than anyone else he's dated since he was 18? (19 years of dating). I'm not calling you "just the same as everyone else", but look at it from the way that, how are you going to be different to him than anyone else already has been? In my mind this guy has some issues with commiting to long term. Probably takes off at the thought of marrage and / or kids.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #6  January 16,2012, 10:13am
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I wouldn't consider it a red flag. I think the reason you see so many people with several-year long relationships on the dating market is because they stayed way longer than they should have, not because all of the years were productive and happy and then an incompatibility sprang up. So, no red flag in my eyes!
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #7  January 16,2012, 10:40am
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
I dont care that hes never been married. It just seems by 37 there would be some type of longer term thing under his belt?
But I guess my point is that after 2 years...you are either going to break up or get married...Unless you are someone who doesn't want to marry and then he would just move in with them...

So that's why I don't see as a red flag at all..I see him as not jumping into marriage...but having long term relationships...( I certainly consider 1 to 2 years as long term)...

Again..if it is a red flag to you...than that's what matters..
 
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eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #8  January 16,2012, 10:49am
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I don't see it as a red flag. Maybe a yellow. I would wonder why the 1-2 year relationships didn't progess into something more, but that's the kind of thing you'll never know until you get to know him better. I am not in my late 30s but I've only had one relationship that was more than 2 years, and that was in college. I would hope guys wouldn't see that as a red flag with me

I went out with a guy last year who, unbeknownst to me until later on, was 38 and had been married...twice. Both were 2-3 year marriages, and he said he now equates marriage as "a relationship where you need permission to break up". To me that's way worse than someone who didn't take the plunge.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  January 16,2012, 11:52am
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Some people want to get a lot of other things under their belts by say 30, such as education, training, getting their profession established, financial security, real estate, etc.

Many want this without the burden of kids and marriage /complicated relationships in the way.

He had a couple of "didn't work out " relationships along the way..so? At least he knew when to get out, not shack up, string women along, not have crash and burn marriages or worse... have kids from these relationships.

No baggage is good baggage.

EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
Would most find It concerning for the longest relationship a 37 year old man having ever been in being: 2 years??? Then a couple 1 year relationships?? Its just seems a bit concerning.
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #10  January 16,2012, 12:40pm
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Yellow flag, perhaps. I would be somewhat concerned by anyone who was almost 40 and hadn't gotten past the 'honeymoon phase' of a relationship.
Last edited by Special-K; January 16,2012 at 12:43pm.
 
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