eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #21  December 3,2011, 9:44am
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Wow, based on the other thread I thought you would be hideous. You are not ugly at all. I also don't think you look overweight either, you just have a "straight" body-type. Your biggest issue here is your lack of self-esteem.

Some suggestions to "pump up" your actual appearance: 1) do something with your hair. In the mirror picture your cut looks a little frumpy soccer mom-ish, can't really see it in the other pictures. Guys generally prefer longer hair though but it looks like your type of fine hair might not look as good long. I would either grow it out longer, or cut it short in a pixie type cut (like this:

I think that would look cute on you.

I am assuming the bustier picture is a costume. I really really hope that's the case because otherwise...eek. With your clothes, you will want to pick things that give you a waistline since you don't really have one. Things like wrap shirts/wrap dresses are perfect for this. Also using belts will look great on you.

Some examples of what might look nice:
 
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eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #22  December 3,2011, 9:47am
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I have a big long post that I wrote that is now sitting in moderation. It has pictures and suggestions of a good haircut and clothing ideas. Should show up at some point....
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #23  December 3,2011, 10:27am
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eharmonyjc wrote :
I have a big long post that I wrote that is now sitting in moderation. It has pictures and suggestions of a good haircut and clothing ideas. Should show up at some point....
She also needs to think of what sort of man she'd like to attract. The way you dress should reflect that. For example, some women want a rough and tumble man, some are attracted to a very groomed exec. Unless you want to have a movie-like storming of your defenses when it comes to romance, you should keep that in mind to make the fit easier. Most women can go either way depending on what they wear.
 
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Mike74 is offline Mike74 Post #24  December 3,2011, 10:29am
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LongLocks wrote :
(1) Ditch the picture with your cleavage showing.
What kind of advice is that??

Seriously, alchemist, you appear to be an attractive woman -- even as a zombie! Based on those pictures, I would initiate communication if you came up as one of my matches. I'm not sure why you perceive yourself as unattractive. I'm not quite as cynical as Wiseman, so I'll assume for the sake of this post that you're not just fishing for compliments and are asking in good faith for advice. Do you have a low self esteem? Are all of your girlfriends absolutely gorgeous, so that you appear more plain in comparison? Are you being realistic with the type of guys that you're seeking to date, and seeking men in your league?

As other posters have noted, the photos themselves could use some work. I like to see a clear facial photo as the main profile photo, followed by a couple of clear, full body shots -- preferably in different outfits. Once you've got those basics covered, you can be more creative and include photos that highlight your personality and interests, such as costume shots. Lastly, avoid the bathroom mirror self-portraits. Ask a friend to help you take some profile photos. Good luck!
 
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alchemistwizard is offline alchemistwizard Post #25  December 3,2011, 10:40am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Constant reassurances about "Am I pretty?"..."Do I look ugly?"....may be the first clue:
I don't need constant reassurances. However, it does get infuriating when I have lots of experiences that reinforce me being unattractive (guys dumping me for being ugly, guys never flirting with me or initiating contact online, guys actually insulting my looks in public) and be told it's "all in my head."

Wiseman2 wrote :
Attention getting may be the main goal...more so than finding a relationship...and more skin, parts etc. will get her that.
Okay, this I don't get. How does one get a relationship without first getting attention?? Obviously getting attention is the main goal, because if a guy doesn't notice me, why in the world would he date me??

harnomygirl wrote :
The black and white picture looks like a costume. (Maybe it is.) Find a more feminine way to display cleavage if you prefer that. I like the other ones, but don't use pictures you took in the mirror on your profile. Good luck.
It is a costume. I went to a nerd convention as Steampunk Batgirl. These aren't actually photos I use in my dating profile, I was just adding photos that give a good range of how I look (aka, not just the flattering ones), and the costume picture is the only one I have of my full body. Actually, at the con I was at, I was one of the more conservatively dressed girls there...

As a little background, my preferred type are smart, nerdy/geeky boys, as that is who I am myself. I don't think I go for movie star-looks.... How in the world can you tell if you're being realistic about dating outside your league?
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #26  December 3,2011, 10:41am
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I agree that the OP is an attractive woman.

I'm still trying to decide if the posts are compliment fishing or just upset because the guys she's attracted to aren't attracted to her. It seems like there are some people that don't hear compliments from the people they don't want to deal with anyway, which is where Oregon Coast Guy was coming from.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #27  December 3,2011, 10:52am
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eharmonyjc wrote :
I have a big long post that I wrote that is now sitting in moderation. It has pictures and suggestions of a good haircut and clothing ideas. Should show up at some point....
Posting photos, esp. those from they web that are copyrighted and don't belong to you, will get you stuck in the filters immediately, just FYI.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #28  December 3,2011, 11:02am
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Actually that was my sincere advice...not cynicism...Meaning having to constantly reassure someone....supermodel or plain Jane... that they are attractive,etc...can get very wearing, and therefore is less attractive.....than a confident whatever-looking woman....
Agree:
Mike74 wrote :
Do you have a low self esteem? Are all of your girlfriends absolutely gorgeous, so that you appear more plain in comparison? Are you being realistic with the type of guys that you're seeking to date, and seeking men in your league?
 
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eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #29  December 3,2011, 11:38am
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harnomygirl wrote :
She also needs to think of what sort of man she'd like to attract. The way you dress should reflect that. For example, some women want a rough and tumble man, some are attracted to a very groomed exec. Unless you want to have a movie-like storming of your defenses when it comes to romance, you should keep that in mind to make the fit easier. Most women can go either way depending on what they wear.
I think she first needs to work on feeling good about how she looks in general, before she worries about attracting a man of any kind. No man wants a woman who constantly thinks she's ugly or unattractive. Good hair and clothing that makes her look good will help her feel good about herself, which will then radiate out and start creating positive attention towards herself.
 
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Mike74 is offline Mike74 Post #30  December 3,2011, 12:01pm
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Actually that was my sincere advice...not cynicism...Meaning having to constantly reassure someone....supermodel or plain Jane... that they are attractive,etc...can get very wearing, and therefore is less attractive.....than a confident whatever-looking woman....
Agree:
I agree with you 100%! And I must admit that I am cyncial enough to have thought, after viewing the pictures, that this might be a fishing expedition. Either way, I think the OP has gotten plenty of advice from this thread that she can use to improve her online results.
 
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