Jhauglid23 is offline Jhauglid23 Post #1  November 25,2011, 9:29pm
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Ok so I've been on Eharmony for 4 or 5 monthes until I got a first set of questions from someone that I was interested in. Sure, we all are looking for somewhat of a physical attraction. When I got these set of questions, I thought to myself that this woman truly has to be interested to take the time to go through even the turn ons & offs. It went really well, and we have been exchanging emails for quite some time now. About every 3 days we get a response.

Last weekend we met. Now we met at a retail store and went shopping for a little boy for the upcoming Holiday. That was fun and I did enjoy that. Afterwards we went to a batting cage since she said she would like to do that at a earlier date.

After some rounds of batting we would sit and talk for about 10 minutes possibly at a time, I learned a lot about her and really did enjoy her company. At the end of the night we parted ways, and I mentioned that we should do something again. She agreed. Later on I sent a text just saying that I had a great time and next time we should possibly do dinner and some drinks, which was agreed upon.

So now here is where my confusion comes in place...

After some emails with her, she tells me a bit later on that she is only looking for friendship at this point and if something happens...then it happens. Her last relationship ended a couple of monthes ago. Now my confusion is this; I don't get the fact that she is only looking for friendship when it's quite clear what Eharmony is on the commercials. Is this common for individuals to be on the site looking for friendship? I don't know if she's just afraid of it. She said she's met a few online and hasn't really had any luck.

Any thoughts are appreciated!

Jeremy
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #2  November 26,2011, 8:21am
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She is on the rebound and looking for male company to fill a void. She is giving you the friend-zone speech.....Move on to women who are ready for the type of dating relationship you want....Good Luck..
Jhauglid23 wrote :
Last weekend we met. After some emails with her, she tells me a bit later on that she is only looking for friendship at this point and if something happens...then it happens. Her last relationship ended a couple of months ago.
Now my confusion is this; I don't get the fact that she is only looking for friendship She said she's met a few online and hasn't really had any luck.

 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #3  November 26,2011, 8:28am
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J ~

This is girlspeak for she's not feeling in it w/ you... sorry!

FWIW: In the future, I would make some other suggestion for a first meet. I can't imagine shopping w/ a virtual stranger... and then the batting cage, w/ little time to get to know each other. Just a suggestion, again, fwiw.

Good luck!
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #4  November 26,2011, 8:49am
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Jeremy (nice name!) - she just didn't feel a romantic connection with you. Agree with Special-K about your next first meeting with someone. Maybe just meet for coffee? If you like each other, a coffee meet can always be extended into lunch, a walk, etc.

Best of luck to you!

Tammy
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #5  November 26,2011, 8:56am
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Jhauglid23 wrote :

Ok so I've been on Eharmony for 4 or 5 monthes until I got a first set of questions from someone that I was interested in. Sure, we all are looking for somewhat of a physical attraction. When I got these set of questions, I thought to myself that this woman truly has to be interested to take the time to go through even the turn ons & offs. It went really well, and we have been exchanging emails for quite some time now. About every 3 days we get a response.

I would not interpret taking the time to go through the must haves and can't stands. This is part of being on eH, it is not an example of an entraordinary effort.

In the future, spend less time emailing, meet sooner in the process. Once you get through the guided communication, a half dozen emails and two or three phone calls over a couple of weeks should move to an in person meeting, dragging this process out, just wastes time.

Last weekend we met. Now we met at a retail store and went shopping for a little boy for the upcoming Holiday. That was fun and I did enjoy that. Afterwards we went to a batting cage since she said she would like to do that at a earlier date.

After some rounds of batting we would sit and talk for about 10 minutes possibly at a time, I learned a lot about her and really did enjoy her company. At the end of the night we parted ways, and I mentioned that we should do something again. She agreed. Later on I sent a text just saying that I had a great time and next time we should possibly do dinner and some drinks, which was agreed upon.

So now here is where my confusion comes in place...

After some emails with her, she tells me a bit later on that she is only looking for friendship at this point and if something happens...then it happens. Her last relationship ended a couple of monthes ago. Now my confusion is this; I don't get the fact that she is only looking for friendship when it's quite clear what Eharmony is on the commercials. Is this common for individuals to be on the site looking for friendship? I don't know if she's just afraid of it. She said she's met a few online and hasn't really had any luck.

Any thoughts are appreciated!

Jeremy
I say, she did go on eH looking for a romantic partner but after spending some time with you does not see that there is that potential for the two or you romantically, however, if you are intersted in friendship, she is offering you that.

Keep searching and good luck!
 
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Jhauglid23 is offline Jhauglid23 Post #6  November 26,2011, 9:51am
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I think there is some confusion, and I should had clarified this in my long first thread post.

She mentioned that she isn't looking for a relationship right now before we even met. It kind of seems from some responses here that I gave the impression that the email was after her and I met. Sorry for the confusion!

She said that she wanted to begin as friends, and if something happens, then it happens. She mentioned a few times that she met a few guys off of EH or Match and was disappointed. She said that one guy danced all on her the second date and that made it uncomfortable, and the second guy wasn't all that interesting.

I think honestly, that she just doesn't want to get her hopes up. She went on a few dates with fellas from dating sites and was let down. I think she is probably expecting the same thing at some point. I don't know to be quite honest.

What do you think?
 
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Jhauglid23 is offline Jhauglid23 Post #7  November 26,2011, 9:53am
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LongLocks wrote :
Jeremy (nice name!) - she just didn't feel a romantic connection with you. Agree with Special-K about your next first meeting with someone. Maybe just meet for coffee? If you like each other, a coffee meet can always be extended into lunch, a walk, etc.

Best of luck to you!

Tammy
I understand the meeting place with someone. She mentioned going to a batting cage(a softball gal). Drove by one and mentioned it would be fun. So why not. I get your meaning though.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #8  November 26,2011, 10:05am
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She is on the rebound and looking for male company to fill a void. She is giving you the friend-zone speech.....
Jhauglid23 wrote :
She mentioned that she isn't looking for a relationship right now before we even met.
Move on to women who are ready for the type of dating relationship you want....Good Luck..
 
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Jhauglid23 is offline Jhauglid23 Post #9  November 26,2011, 10:31am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
She is on the rebound and looking for male company to fill a void. She is giving you the friend-zone speech.....Move on to women who are ready for the type of dating relationship you want....Good Luck..
Thank you
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  November 26,2011, 11:01am
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There are some people who want to develop a friendship first and then see if a romance evolves from that. She may be one of them. Or, she may be telling you "I would like you as a friend but not as a boyfriend". If she's not being clear, there's no way to tell the difference.

Personally I think romances rarely spring from friendships, so I would move on.
 
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