emotionally attached but no physical attraction


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caplove is offline caplove Post #21  November 27,2011, 6:23pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Sigh. My last post went into moderation. Hopefully it's not there long as I didn't violate any of the "rules."
Let's wait.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #22  November 27,2011, 6:41pm
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caplove wrote :
In a way I feel better that he has her. I actually told him that. Life is too short to be spent alone. But then he said that he needs passion to be with someone and he doesn't feel that with her. So eventually he said that he'd look for that somewhere else.
Dear, this was his way of trying to get you to agree to be his bed buddy...his "friend" with benefits, just without the friend part. Surely you see that. I am certain that he has, and has always had, plenty of passion with #1! The "Woe is me....look at how selfless I am by sacrificing my physical needs for friendship" nonsense is such an act. Seriously, would it serve his purposes to tell you that he absolutely loved being intimate with both of you? He has obviously tried to have his cake and eat it too, and you opted to buy into his stories for quite some time.

You will serve yourself far better in the future if you are upfront about your situation. Advice will then be more appropriate to your actual situation and to helping you understand how someone might be taking advantage of you...as it turned out happened and might continue to happen.
 
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caplove is offline caplove Post #23  November 27,2011, 6:50pm
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emma_hazards wrote :
Dear, this was his way of trying to get you to agree to be his bed buddy...his "friend" with benefits, just without the friend part. Surely you see that. I am certain that he has, and has always had, plenty of passion with #1! The "Woe is me....look at how selfless I am by sacrificing my physical needs for friendship" nonsense is such an act. Seriously, would it serve his purposes to tell you that he absolutely loved being intimate with both of you? He has obviously tried to have his cake and eat it too, and you opted to buy into his stories for quite some time.

You will serve yourself far better in the future if you are upfront about your situation. Advice will then be more appropriate to your actual situation and to helping you understand how someone might be taking advantage of you...as it turned out happened and might continue to happen.
Good thing that we're far apart.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #24  November 28,2011, 11:47am
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I understand that you are hung up on him right now. It's tough, and painful.

It will eventually pass, and some day you'll appreciate that you deserve far more in a relationship. When you recover and are open, someone new will come along, who will want you for everything you have to offer. Don't forget that.

All the best!
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #25  November 28,2011, 12:10pm
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He did you are favor...she will be stuck with a goes-out-of-twin cheater and you are free to find a decent man. By the way....she's a just friend...she's good to me but the passion is gone.....I'm having a (fill in the blank) crisis ,etc. are all lines to string the "other woman " along...Good Luck..
caplove wrote :
it's a very complicated situation. i'm glad that i'm out of it.
 
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caplove is offline caplove Post #26  November 28,2011, 3:20pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
An accident?!?!? Like, he was walking down the street, tripped, and his penis just accidentally fell into her spread legs? (Hopefully you can laugh at the ridiculousness of his explanation!)

There was no accident, and she was never "just a friend."
Thanks Wonderwoman for making me laugh! A refreshing break from all the seriousness.

I know that this is just a phase. Am still hung up on him. Part of the process of getting over someone. But I'll get there.
 
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caplove is offline caplove Post #27  November 28,2011, 3:40pm
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@Emma and @Wiseman, thank so much for the words of encouragement. I know that in time I will feel much, much better. I have no regrets for I learned a lot about myself.
 
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