Living with your parents vs. your parents living with you

When do you raise the issue -- prior to meeting, first date, or beyond?

So the question becomes, if you discover that a potential date shares a residence with his or her parents, how much effort do you put into finding out the reasons behind that arrangement? When do you raise the issue -- prior to meeting, first date, or beyond?

I live with my parents. I quit a very well paying (but completely awful) job and moved back to this area a year ago without a job lined up to go back to school. I expected to find something that paid more than what I actually found so it was supposed to be a temporary thing until I found a job. I found one rather quickly, but at a little less than half of the salary I made at my previous job. My area is 17% unemployment so I'm happy to have found the job I have, and to have a great boss who is flexible w/ my school schedule. HOWEVER, the only thing my parents pay for is the housing costs, I still pay for all of my own bills and I contribute to household chores and groceries. I could technically afford to move out at this point but I would have no extra money to work on paying down debt, pay for tuition out of pocket, or for any "extras". I've owned 2 different homes in the past and I would have a hard time paying rent on a crappy apartment when I could buy a decent house for the same monthly outlay. I'm definitely no loser, but I expect I'll be here at least another year unless I find another job that pays more (unlikely) or my boss all of a sudden decides to give me a huge raise (also unlikely). I bring this up with people either before or during a first date. Thankfully, it hasn't really been a hindrance to my dating life as it's a pretty normal thing around here because of the poor economy, and I think as long as people see that I'm not just a loser who leeches off my parents, they're fine with it.

About half my partners lived with parents (and always a house owned by the parents.) At our ages at the time, it wasn't an issue for me.

I far prefer a partner living with her parents, in a safe and civilized neighborhood, able to stay in school or progress faster, and / or building wealth or preparing herself to be a homeowner, than living on her own but sacrificing one or more of the above.

Once I graduated and got my first "real" job, however, I moved out of my parents house and into a local apartment. Of course, the woman who would become my ex-wife was basically living with me at the time.

It also occurs to me that some people may live with their parents, not because they can't provide for themselves, but simply because living alone is lonely.

I don't know how many of you have done it, living by yourself - no kids, no roommates, no parents, no partner - but it is incredible lonely to do so.

This is a good post and suggestion ... however ...

I have lived alone (excepting the weekends I spent wrapped in amore with my lovers) for 20 years, and never once felt lonely.

It is a rare day I am not so busy as to even notice.

If you have trouble finding partners, I bet those weekends would be a bit more lonely.