eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  June 17,2008, 3:29pm

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Dear Dr. Warren,

All new marriages start with passion and romance, but howcan a newlywed couplemaintain the passionate flame of love and romance year after year without the relationship going stale and eventually dissolving into a divorce?
 
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argytunes is offline argytunes Post #2  June 18,2008, 9:17am
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2 QUESTIONS:


1. "What happens when there is NO SIGNIFICANTPARTNER (or even a close female friend) to "hang out with?"


2. "How long should I continue praying when the results haven't come through?"A response of as long as it takes isn't a realisticanswer. It's merely a verbal band-aid! [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-surprised.gif[/img]


argytunes





And for
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #3  June 18,2008, 11:53am
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It's very odd that this aricle about married couples is in the Ask a Dating Expert section. Wouldn't it be better categorized in the Relationships forum, or the About You forum?





I really don't think you can "make yourself" desire someone. You can treat someone kindly and respectfully, but if the desire isn't there, it isn't there, and I think it's unethical to fake it.
 
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shemon80 is offline shemon80 Post #4  June 27,2008, 4:49pm
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My comment to argytunes: A day is as a thousand years in God's eyes (ears), not that He's going to make you wait that long necessarily. Dr. Warren is right, keep on keepin' on. It's worth it. It took me and my husband a year and a 1/2 to "Get the passion back", I thought all was lost. I took the advise of a good friend to pray for him to 'come around' when I thought our marriage was gone forever. It did seem like forever, like a "thousand years" to me. I just kept on praying and praying morning, noon and night and sometimes when I couldn't sleep, go downstairs and pray somemore. Then all of a sudden one evening, he (my husband) wanted to talk. I thought, "Oh no, he wants that divorse now!" I don't know why I was thinking so negitive since I was expecting God to do wonders. My husband said, " I love you and I miss you." and he kissed and hugged me. We talked all night about what he wanted, and I talked about how I felt and that I missed him too. Things have been great since then AND the passion is back again. Prayer does work, BUT in HIS (God's) time, not ours.[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif[/img]
 
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khan is offline khan Post #5  July 24,2008, 5:00am
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Dr. Warren is right, keep on keepin' on. It's worth it. It took me and my husband a year and a 1/2 to "Get the passion back.It give the right idea to stay healthy and happy.





----------------------------------------------------------





asif





Addiction Recovery Utah
 
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khan is offline khan Post #6  July 24,2008, 5:05am
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All new marriages start with passion and romance, but howcan a newlywed couplemaintain the passionate flame of love and romance.It is good to read your comment and i feel fine.





----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





khan





Addiction Recovery Utah
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #7  July 24,2008, 11:36am
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

Dear Dr. Warren,


All new marriages start with passion and romance, but howcan a newlywed couplemaintain the passionate flame of love and romance year after year without the relationship going stale and eventually dissolving into a divorce?
"Creativity" You gotta get creative. Passion waxes and wanes in every relationship, married or not. Sometimes on partner goes through something that makes them less passionate and it can get lonely for the other partner, but it takes patience. A long term illness, a lost job, financial stress, having a baby . . . any one of a number of things can cool any of us down. Giving up in a marriage because the passion goes means that those things that are keeping it down need to be addressed and resolved. It means communicating . . . oh gosh, there's that word again. It means supporting a partner whose going through a rough time and sticking together when you're both going through them. Passion ignites when there is triumph over that which suppresses it. You gotta bring your "real" "A" game to this field.


It takes "creating" something new and different in your relationship and also remembering what that passion felt like when you met and recreating that. It means expanding your level of comfort into new territories of intimacy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but you need to know you gave it your best shot before just walking away, especially in a marriage.
 
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