jennyfleuur is offline jennyfleuur Post #1  January 13,2011, 2:33am
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I have gone on three very enjoyable dates with this guy, but he does not call me in between dates. Instead, he just texts me to simply make a plan for another date. I will be going on a fourth date with him this weekend, and our first date was during the 3rd week of December. .

I don't know if this behavior is normal because I am used to my dates calling me to chat in the evenings. Is he just taking things very slow?What do you think?
Last edited by jennyfleuur; January 13,2011 at 3:00am.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #2  January 13,2011, 3:18am
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Does sound strange, but I assume your phone also has a call button.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #3  January 13,2011, 3:38am
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Jenny, see the other thread on asking questions where this topic has been brought up.

The texting only is also my reality, with two guys now, well one was email, but that's not much different. I'm baffled by it, don't know what to make of a guy who doensn't call but texts mutiple times a day. It doesn't allow you to get as personable a connection as phone chats do and is I find frustrating. But I'm learning it is typcial, unfortunately.

I think for them anything less than in person connections don't work well, men are not as auditory as women. So, if they can't see you, they believe keeping a connection going via text is showng ongoing interest. They see the phone as only slightly better but far more inconvenient and time consuming, so default to texting as the easier option. The email guy told me he found it difficult to socialize over the phone without the visual feedback of body language and facial expressions.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #4  January 13,2011, 3:44am
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Savman:

First 3 or 4 dates, boys call girls, not vice versa, that's it, that's all.

****

One of the sidelines of establishing text as the primary communication is if a guy doesn't call me, it feels rather awkward, presumptuous to think that it is ok for me to call him. Both of the men I fell into this with were business owners, so erratic schedules, meetings in evening often etc, there was no way of knowing when a phone call would not be intrusive.
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #5  January 13,2011, 6:26am
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Personally...I would never go out on a date with a guy who asks me out by text...just like I wouldn't do this if I were asking out the man..

I'm not asking a guy to talk for hours on the phone...heck..I don't like this myself...but if they are too lazy to actually dial my number and do this...I wouldn't be interested...it's just my own personal preference..

I hate having to use this..but it is an age thing for me...I use text as a way to quickly say hello, send some flirty text to my boyfriend...I'm very lucky that my guy, even though he is in IT, dislikes any type of 'mechanical' conversations...he likes face to face

phone calls are for asking out on dates and chatting for a bit...and then personal interaction is for important conversations..

Obviously since you have accepted and gone out 3 times with him when he has done this...you have shown him you are completely ok with this...so to change now is more tricky..

The easiest way to figure out how he is feeling about this is to talk next time you go out...Ask him how much communication per week he likes to have with someone he is dating..what's his preferred method of talking...And then you can share if you like phone calls once in awhile...and see if you can work out a good compromise that is good for you both..
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  January 13,2011, 6:56am
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Unfortunately, it's a very popular and efficient way to go........ especially for multi-dating. He spends minimal time talking getting to know you, or anyone for that matter, etc.......then can use that time to multi-text women to multi-date. It's time and dating management, not trying to establish a one-on-one relationship.

jennyfleuur wrote :
I have gone on three very enjoyable dates with this guy, but he does not call me in between dates. Instead, he just texts me to simply make a plan for another date. I will be going on a fourth date with him this weekend, and our first date was during the 3rd week of December. . I don't know if this behavior is normal because I am used to my dates calling me to chat in the evenings. Is he just taking things very slow?What do you think?
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is online now SteveManchesterEngland Post #7  January 13,2011, 7:17am
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LDJ wrote :
Savman:

First 3 or 4 dates, boys call girls, not vice versa, that's it, that's all.
Obviously you're completely wrong or this thread wouldn't exist.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is online now SteveManchesterEngland Post #8  January 13,2011, 7:22am
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jennyfleuur wrote :
I have gone on three very enjoyable dates with this guy, but he does not call me in between dates. Instead, he just texts me to simply make a plan for another date. I will be going on a fourth date with him this weekend, and our first date was during the 3rd week of December. .

I don't know if this behavior is normal because I am used to my dates calling me to chat in the evenings. Is he just taking things very slow?What do you think?
I think you don't enjoy just texting in between dates so you should ring him.

Then if you find you are the only one initiating phone calls tell him that it isn't the kind of relationship you want so you also need to hear from him sometimes. And then if he doesn't follow through on that you need to decide if it's "normal" for you. It doesn't really matter what we say is our norm because it's more about what you want.

I don't ring girls between dates but if they want to talk and are local then I'd suggest they call round for a cup of tea.

I agree with the other comment on this thread - texting only is ideal for a multi dater type but this doesn't mean you should assume that because he doesn't ring, he's dating others.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #9  January 13,2011, 1:33pm
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LDJ wrote :
Savman:

First 3 or 4 dates, boys call girls, not vice versa, that's it, that's all.

****

One of the sidelines of establishing text as the primary communication is if a guy doesn't call me, it feels rather awkward, presumptuous to think that it is ok for me to call him. Both of the men I fell into this with were business owners, so erratic schedules, meetings in evening often etc, there was no way of knowing when a phone call would not be intrusive.
The year is 2011, not 1951. Girls sometimes ask guys out on dates, they drive cars by themselves, some are allowed to work outside the home, and even a few lucky ones get to wear pants sometimes.

I am not sure you can find a single man on this board who thinks it would be out of line for a woman he has been on 3 dates with to call him. And if he does, then the relationship was never going anywhere anyway.
 
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tinaroonie is offline tinaroonie Post #10  January 13,2011, 3:47pm
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I don't think this is strange. I have had phone conversations with my guy, but neither of us are good on the phone, so somehow we reverted to e-mailing each other during the week to make plans instead. I am ok with that. He does call to say he's running late, or what not. But mostly we stick to e-mail nowadays. It works for us, but obviously texting only does not work for you. I would bring it up at the next date, and see what he says. Just casually ask if it's okay if you call him during the week, just to chat, or what not. If he's not comfortable with that, you probably are not a good match.
 
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