Stephaness is offline Stephaness Post #1  January 3,2011, 9:17pm
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Okay so, I just ended a 4 year relationship, it was mutal, we knew for a long time that we were wrong but we were that couple that really did love eachother for certain things and just REALLY wanted to try and make it work.
My question is, if even though your 100% sure your good to move on to find that prince charming, a lot of what i have learned in the last 4 years, and been isolated from and kinda become is because of that relationship. So how do u tell ur new found intrest that without makeing it sound like ur not over him... When somthing comes up that it seems nessesary to explain rther than coming off weird.?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  January 4,2011, 4:16am
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There is nothing that you need to explain to your new interest. If you feel the need, if you are acting odd, you really have not processed the break up and more importantly, you haven't found yourself and who you are without the X yet.

Your X was indeed a huge part of your life for a very long time. It will take time for you to find yourself and find balance without him. As for the new guy, rather than talking about the X or blaming the X, talk about yourself and how you feel. If he is understanding, it will help. Unfortunately, sometimes the only way to move forward is to jump in the deep end and start paddling.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  January 4,2011, 4:51am
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It's true that you have learned a lot about life and yourself in the last four years, but you learned those things while in the company of the ex, not because of the ex.

If you had been volunteering to build water wells in Africa for four years you would have learned a lot about life and yourself there, too. How would you explain those things to a new friend?

You will talk about yourself in the context of all of your life's experiences, not just in terms of a lost love. Nearly everyone on these boards has an ex or two who have changed how we approach romance, but that doesn't mean that the exes are the authors of our personal narratives. We write those ourselves.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  January 4,2011, 5:47am
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You are not ready to move on or over him , just from having to ask this and believing he was such a huge influence. You are ready for a distraction and new warm body, not "prince charming"........date casually until you get your act together rather than feel the need to bore anyone new with your "need to explain" about him.
Stephaness wrote :
just ended a 4 year relationshipMy question is, if even though your 100% sure your good to move on.So how do u tell ur new found intrest that without makeing it sound like ur not over him... When somthing comes up that it seems nessesary to explain rther than coming off weird.?
 
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